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Karen
Beginner December 2022 Cheshire

Dress drama :(

Karen, 28 of July of 2022 at 15:36 Posted on Wedding Attire 0 14
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Scrolling (as you do) for inspiration for jewellery for the upcoming nuptuals and stumbled across a photo of a dress in the new season collection that is everything I had in my head that I wanted from a dress before I started shopping. Main problem is that I already have two dresses - one I ordered for the ceremony that's due in any day now and another for the evening that I picked up in a sample sale.
I do like both dresses I already (almost) have, although the main reason I bought a second dress was that I felt the first was too big for what I wanted in the evening. The one I've seen the photo of is pretty much the best of both I already chose but with less lace and more sparkle which for our December wedding was what I initially invisaged.

Now I just don't know what to do. Do I continue with what I've already committed to and try to put the new dress out of my head or do I go and try the new dress on? If I try it on what do I do if I fall in love with it?
For context we've both been married before. My first wedding was mostly not of my choosing and very much dictated by my in-laws and now ex husband. This time round we wanted to very much do it for ourselves and our plan has been to not stress where possible and make decisions based on our gut feelings.
I know there's by far much worse things going on in the world, but having lost my Mum last year and with my bff being really unwell I'm hoping you lovely forumites could help me work this through please xx

14 replies

Latest activity by Michelle, yesterday at 10:02
  • R
    Super July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Were you happy with your existing dresses when you bought them, or were they more of a 'this is the best I can do' purchase?

    If you had reservations when you bought them, then you are probably going to dislike them even more now that you have seen your 'dream dress'. So I would maybe look at trying to sell them and buy the new dress if you can afford it (and if it can get to you in time - if your wedding is only a few months away, you might be out of time).

    But if you liked the dresses you have already bought when you bought them...what guarantee do you have that if you buy your new dress now, you won't see something you like even more by your wedding day?

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  • Charlotte
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    There is always going to be another dress you like if you keep looking, so my advice is stop! Sorry this is blunt, not meant to upset and I understand your history makes you want to get everything right but you have 2 already which I assume you fell in love with and said Yes to at the time. If anything on my 2nd wedding I was less worried as I knew this ime was right and all that really matters is the two of you and that some elements really are trivial. If you genuinely don't like your other dresses then I would suggest taking your time to find the one, but as above, what's to say you won't get another and then change your mind again. If you can't shake it off then go try it to get t our your head but be sensible about your decision making process and really the no about if we tbdoes make you feel that much better wearing it than the others and if your gut say yes then go for it and try and selling the others. I hope you can sort it out and please try not to let it stress you out
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  • Lucy
    Savvy September 2022 Hampshire
    Lucy ·
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    Does the shop you bought the first dresses from have this dress in? If so I suggest you go in and try it on and discuss your options with them. They are the professionals. Ultimately it’s your special day and you should have what you want x
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2023 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    If you like its your choice what does h2b think did you tell him that you seen your dream dress if hes happy for you then go for it you could sell the others x💗 let us know what you decide x💗
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  • Karen
    Beginner December 2022 Cheshire
    Karen ·
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    Hi there lovely peeps.
    Thanks for replying Smiley smile
    The "new" dress I've seen is in a different shop to the one I've got a dress on order with but they are the same shop I bought my sample sale dress from. I genuinely was surprised to see something I liked so much on their homepage, especially as I only went on there to look at their new accessories page (they do some beautiful hair vines).
    It's a little hard to explain how I felt choosing my existing dresses. Having lost Mum last October I threw myself into our wedding planning as a positive distraction at the beginning of this year and I think in my head I knew what I wanted. I most certainly didn't want a dress like my first wedding which was the first dress and only dress I tried on at a time when size 20 bridal was really rare. I shopped on my own back then as Mum didn't approve but thankfully at the time I loved it (Maggie Sottero lace back beaded ball gown).
    This time I shopped with my closest friend (in the absence of family) but if I'm honest I could have done with her being a bit more critical as I found it really difficult to decide. In my head I wanted something fit & flare to feel a bit sexier but due to my size (16) many shops simply only stocked that style in 8s or 10s so I ended up in A line styles as they were the ones that fitted past my hips!
    Sorry, I'm waffling here :/
    Long story short, my dress on order is a long sleeved illusion bodice A line slightly boho lace Lillian West which I said yes to because it was comfy, I wanted longer sleeves for a winter wedding and it had a double waistband which made me feel slimmer. I went and got the second dress for the evening because in my head I still felt I should have something slinkier and got a shoestring strap illusion beaded bodice & crepe skirt fit & flare Mori Lee.
    Still waffling - sorry.
    Dress 1 (which is on order) is due in this month so my rational head is thinking I should hold fire until that's come in and then see how I feel when I try it on again. Not going to go near my sample dress that's in the wardrobe until I've made a decision on the first one and then take it from there.
    Right decison? Smiley atonished

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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2023 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Only you can make the right decision it must have been hard trying to get it sorted and trying to take time to get over your mum but remember you dont have to be a size 8 or 6 to be in sexy dress do what you want and feel comfy in x💗
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2023 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Hi karen hows things x💗
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  • Karen
    Beginner December 2022 Cheshire
    Karen ·
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    View quoted message

    Hiya,
    Going okay I think thanks! Hope all's well in your world.
    I'm still trying to keep my mind focused on other stuff and wait it out until my original dress arrives. Having the kids off school has been a massive distraction so it's not been quite as difficult as it was a week or so ago (silver linings! ha ha).
    Really appreciate you checking in with me Smiley love x

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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2023 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Your welcome i know having kids around takes the mind if other things when does the dress come come you said a month have they given you an exact date x💗 im okay hun wishing next year would hurry up x💗
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  • Karen
    Beginner December 2022 Cheshire
    Karen ·
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    No exact date, just a generic "August" so there's time yet Smiley ups
    Ah, next year will be here before you know it! When's your date? x

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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2023 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    I hate waiting x im not till29 july but thinking of bringing it closer x💗
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  • Karen
    Beginner December 2022 Cheshire
    Karen ·
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    Ha ha, I totally understand wanting to get it done! We toyed with the idea of just cancelling it all and nipping off somewhere but we felt it wasn't fair on the kids (well teens) as they've been looking forward to it.
    Had a call this morning that my dress is in so going tomorrow afternoon to try it. I'm actually feeling quite excited which has surprised me so hopefully that's a good sign I was just stressing over nothing! Smiley xd x

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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2023 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Totally my children are exited abput doing with out everyone especially my daughter who is 20 she is looking forward to being able to wear her prom dress again which still fits her. Let me know how it goes with your dress it will be perfect x💗
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2023 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Hi hun how was it x💗
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