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Beginner September 2022 Lothian & Borders

No bridesmaids

Firstweddingbath1601, 11 April 2022 at 10:39 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 2
I've decided to only have my sister as my maid of honour. I have 6 very close friends who I would have as bridesmaids, however I don't want to have bridesmaids as in the morning I just want to get ready with my mum and sister. I'm quite an anxious person and I think I would find it stressful getting ready with 8 of us in total!

I would like my friends to feel special on the day though, so I was thinking of asking them to colour co-ordinate wit the wedding colour theme. My wedding is going to be pink and white. i've spoken to a few of them and they loved the idea of colouring co-ordinating. I've said that they can choose any dress they like that will work with the colours e.g. pale pink, sage green, pale blue etc. I've also said that id be happy to be pay for their dresses also or at least contribute £50.
Do you think this is ok? I've only spoken to 3 of the girls at the moment, I was also thinking about gifting them flowers for their hair for the day. I just want them to feel special and for them to feel part of the wedding. I am worried that some of the girls may feel like a 'wedding prop' and that they have been asked to dress up like a bridesmaid and that they aren't good enough to be one. That's not the case at all, I really don't want 6 bridesmaids, I couldn't choose between them and I really just want to be with my Mum/sister in the morning.
Any advice is appreciated! X

2 replies

Latest activity by RomanticGreenStationery27135, 11 April 2022 at 15:44
  • Chloe
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Chloe ·
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    As I was reading this I was initially like "oh no, don't ask them to do that" until you said you'd be contributing towards their dresses - I think this makes it OK and a nice gesture. Be aware that a lot of wedding guest dresses are closer to £100 so you might get some push back if your girls were unlikely to buy a new dress for your wedding until you mentioned this, it may leave one girl feeling left of our something. If you could swing it, perhaps offer to pay for the dress outright as long as it's not more than X amount but maybe that should be a little higher than your original budget. I know weddings are horribly expensive as is, but thought I'd mention as I have a few weddings coming up and the cheapest dress I've managed to find that feels appropriate for cocktail/semi formal is £55 (and that's for one with a disco theme), the others are all £70-100 from high street brands.

    Really nice idea to gift them flowers for their hair too Smiley smile

    I definitely think that when you ask them, you should tell them that they would have been bridesmaids and they only reason they are not is because you're only having your sister as MOH - otherwise they may feel like others were chosen as bridesmaids and they just didn't make the cut!

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  • R
    Super July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    I think it sounds fine - you are giving them a wide range of colours and unlimited style options, so they can pick a dress they can wear again and again, and you're also offering to put some money towards it. They can always say no if they don't like the idea! As Chloe says, I'd explain to them that you would have loved to have them as bridesmaids but couldn't manage 6 in addition to your MOH and couldn't choose between them.

    I can understand why you won't want to add an extra 6 people into the room while you are getting ready!

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