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SunnyBrownCars88088
Beginner July 2020

When to postpone to?!

SunnyBrownCars88088, 3 April, 2020 at 08:16 Posted on Planning 0 2

We were due to be getting married on thursday 16 july in uk but we live abroad and my fiance is german so about 75% of our guests are flying in from all around the world so we have to make decisions much earlier than some other unfortunately. Weve decided and are both in agreement that we need to postpone as at present we are on total lockdown with no flights out of dubai and we dont know when this will change. My hen do and dress fitting and hair trial in 3 weeks in uk is definately cancelled.

But the big question is when do we postpone until? Venue have offered us last week of September or next year. Our suppliers can make end of September still a Thursday and even my bridesmaids in usa and teacher in mid term in uk have managed to arrange those dates with employers etc (subject to USA raising travel restrictions by then)

However h2b thinks we should wait till next year.

We want to make sure our key guests can travel in safely. H2b parents are in 80s in germany. His dad is high risk with a large aneurysm which could go at any time... or not. Travel in September may possibly still be an issue, but on the other hand given his health (and my grandparents too in their 90s) they may not even be around still if we wait a year. I lost my mum 2 years ago and its already hard without her there, I dont want to wait incase anyone else on either side isnt around.

On top of that I am 40 this year, and I want to start a family. You cant legally get pregnant where we live unless you are married. H2b (who is typically less fussed by the children thing) doesnt think this is a reason to have wedding in september and that we should still postpone by a year. We discussed doing legal ceremony and the party next year, but if I am pregnant then I wont be able to drink.. or fit into the dress I've already spent thousands on....

I suggested doing legal ceremony in Germany with his parents in august and having party in September because at least that way they will definately be there for the ceremony, and hopefully it will be better in end of september for them to travel anyway, because if we wait a year they and my grandparents may not be around in any case, plus there are the other children issues...

The venue have told is if september comes and it's still an issue for travel we could postpone again, which whilst it would be an awful hassle and lots of uncertainty, to me still seems preferable in our situation than 15 months time...

What do you guys reckon? When is everyone else postponing till? does anyone else have similar issues on elderly or at risk family travelling in to uk or wanting to start a family before they really are too old?!

Really trying to keep the wedding thing in perspective but the impact of family being there and starting a family are such important things . .

2 replies

Latest activity by Ben, 7 May, 2021 at 14:02
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    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    It seems that what is most important to you is 1) having elderly relatives around to see you get married and 2) starting a family, which you need to be married to do in your country of residence.

    Bearing in mind those two things, I would be looking to marry sooner rather than later. Hopefully, your family will be able to attend in September, but if not, they could participate via livestream or you can have the ceremony filmed for them to watch with you later.

    Something else to bear in mind is that for some older people, the important thing is knowing that an event has taken place - they may not necessarily feel the need to be there to witness it themselves. So it's possible that some of your relatives may not be too upset if they can't attend, as long as they get to hear about it. I'd assumed that my mother would be devastated if she couldn't attend our wedding, but she's actually asked us to go ahead with it, even if she can't be there, as she just wants to know we are married while she's still around!

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    Beginner July 2021
    FL2020 ·
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    Sorry that you are looking at postponing, we think our August wedding will likely be cancelled too. I would postpone to next year, at least until summer 2021. I don’t think this virus is going away before a vaccine and any lockdown measures may need to be continuously lifted and reapplied until then.

    But we do not have any timing restrictions and are in no rush so have the ‘luxury’ of being able to wait. Fingers crossed for you that you manage to have the wedding you want and everyone there.

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