Did you have any/many no-shows?!

Blimey, I am having exactly the same concerns as you. We get married on 20th September and although I have the lists of those who have confirmed they are coming, I have an awful feeling we will have some no shows.

I do not have a back up list at all do you?

lets hope some wise old marrieds will help us!

The answer to your question is 'No', people do not appreciate cut-off points for caterers, table plans etc unless they have recently been through the exact same process themselves with a formal sit down meal. If it was a few years previous, they may well have already forgotten how stressful the organisation is! I had to alter my table plan both the week before, and two days before the wedding (the two days before was with a genuinely unwell relative being removed).

I chose to doublecheck with a few people about 2 weeks before the wedding (say, about 10 people out of 100) - the ones who seemed the most likely to drop out at the last minute, and low and behold there were 3 who confirmed they weren't able to come anymore. Who knows whether they were going to let us know before the day or not if I hadn't asked....

Having spoken to other people about this, you're more likely to have a couple of on-the-day-cancellations if your wedding is local and no one is travelling, as there may be a couple of illnesses (fictitious or genuine). If people are travelling to your wedding the day before, no doubt you'd find out the day before. On the day, you just need to let the venue host know what place settings/chairs to remove so that you don't end up with empty seats at the meal - you'll only need to do that half an hour before the meal - they will be able to adapt to minor changes like that at short notice!

I think it's unlikely that anyone would ever have more than a couple of last minute drop-outs or no shows for a full-day invitation, so it's nothing to panic about.

I didn't have a separate evening guest list myself, but I've heard from some friends and brides on here that about 10-25% of their evening guests didn't show up. If you think about it, evening guest lists often include a few 'acquaintances', work colleagues, more distant relatives and friends-of-parents, rather than just being best buddies, so it makes sense that more of them wouldn't prioritise their attendance if they feel tired or get a better offer! People also know it's not so much of a big deal with the evening reception as you're not paying out for sit down meals and drinks packages, so people won't feel as guilty about blowing it off at the last minute. That's something to brace yourself for so that you don't get upset on the day. Expect a bunch not to turn up, and expect yourself to start re-evaluating some friendships as a result. I think weddings will often lead to you pondering the strength and longevity of some friendships, whether you want it to or not.

Thank you for taking the time to reply, that's really helpful!

It's good to know it's OK to re-contact a few people who seem most likely to drop out just to doublecheck - I'll do that!

Yeah I don't have the same expectations about evening guests, it's sad if they don't show but less of a disaster on the tables and catering costs!

Thank you!!

I had around 20 no shows for my evening reception, grrrrr! Do these people not realise that each person costs money!!!x

We had one no show for the day guests, she was in hospital for an exploratory op, and while I am sympathetic it wasn't a spur of the moment thing so she could have told us as we had paid for her meal. We had a few no shows for the evening, mostly people from my work who said they would come and didn't but to be honest I didn't really notice their absence as the day was a haze!

I had about 8 guests not turn up to the ceremony and meal and then a further 15 not turn up in the evening. You know what though? We still had an amazing time without them! I did have a little rant on facebook the next day though.

x

I had a few last minute cancellations due to illness for the day itself and about 10 no-shows for the evening who not only didn't bother to let us know they weren't coming but haven't bothered to apologise since.

It didn't bother me at all on the day and I didn't notice the missing evening guests until a few days later when I was going through my prep stuff and suddenly realised they hadn't turned up so stop worrying about bit. You will have a fabulous day with or without them x