What about babies?

I am just getting married but me and my bf had some discussions regarding babies. He said he love to have 1 or 2 kids and both will have my eyes and my skin. It makes me laugh since he was the one who had opened that topic.

I'm going to continue on the pill while i'm on honeymoon, so I can make the most of it. As luck would have it, the pack finishes towards the end of my last week away so I will just let nature take its course after that. Fingers Crossed

We already have two, but we think we'd like one or two more. Not for a while though- kids are exhausting!

Were exactly the same. Were in no great hurry and not trying too hard. Just wanna try and get the pill out of my system and if nothing has happend in a couple of months we shall be going for gold haha ?

We got married at the end of July and I finished my pill on our honeymoon in mid August.

We both like the idea of children but we are happy to let nature take it's course for a while and not try too hard, it's nice to have no stress and just enjoy life at the moment after the tension of the wedding planning, we love being married and when our time comes will be over the moon to start our family but we want to have some time that's all about us for now!

Us too. We got married in June but won't be looking to start trying until at least next June, so that we can enjoy being married first. We're loving the whole 'Mr and Mrs' thing at the mo! Plus, I'm going for a new job at the moment, an opportunity that is way too good to turn down - so if I get it, we'll need to at least wait until I'm eligible for maternity pay! I tried looking on the official government website to see how long I need to be in the new job beofre that happens and it says that you need to be:

employed by the same employer continuously for at least 26 weeks into the 15th week before the week your baby is due (the qualifying week)

earning on average an amount which at least equals the lower earnings limit which applies on the Saturday at the end of your qualifying week

That's as clear as mud then. Out of interest - does anyone know??

It basically means this:

You need to be employed by the company for roughly 10-12 months to qualify for maternity pay as you have to work for the company for 26 weeks prior to the 15th week which would be week 22 of the preganacy!

The lower earnings limit is £107 per week before tax so any full time worked will qualify for the maternity pay of £135.45 per week

God I hate payroll stuff!!

Thanks Carly! I get so confused by this stuff.

So that means that if I do get this job (and there's no guarantee that I will, but I'm hopeful) and then I work out my notice and start there January-ish, i'll need to work for 10 -12 months before I need to go on maternity leave? So, if I go on maternity leave at 8 months, the earliest I can get pregnant is after 4 months? If so that'll be June (to be safe). Which is when we wanted to start trying anyway.

Is that right??

Well we got married in July and we are still trying to get used to being married! isnt

It just great? We were thinking of having kids in a couple of years as decided to study a course after the wedding and reduce my work hours and whatever money is spare we use for travels as we said we would travel the world together after we are married! My curse finishes in 2 years so we would not have kids until then at least, but hen after graduate I am planning to get a new job, doing what I enjoy and getting paid better (as this is the point of university I suppose) so by the looks of it I be able to become a mummy for another 3 years!

I'm guessing that because you're not panicking about not being a mummy for 3 years that you're probably a little bit younger than me? I'm so torn between feeling broody and realising that I'm hurtling towards 30 and should probably get a wriggle on (so to speak), and wanting to get as far as I can in my career before I have kids so that I can aim to give them as many opportunities as possible as they grow up. I've finally come to understand why people bang on about women having to choose their careers over having a family! Ultimately, I know which is more important to me, but I just can't let this job opportunity go by without chasing it. Part of me hopes I don't get it so I can focus on having kids; the other part reminds me that I've got a few years left to enjoy myself and do things for me.

I think travelling around the world sound like a wondeful idea - i'm very jealous! Is there anywhere in particular that you are thinking of going? I would love to do that but we're saving for a house now (to put the babies in when we have them!) so its not really an option.

We got married in August and have discussed this recently. We only had a mini honeymoon and were going to save up for a big holiday next summer - I want to be able to enjoy that holiday, so don't want to be pregnant. I was thinking I would come off this pill a few weeks before the holiday and then we can use the holiday to start trying ; )

I'll be 30 next year so don't want to put it off much longer. I don't have to worry about choosing between family and a career as I have so far failed to establish any kind of meaningful career!

Nessa_Zoe, there are lots of countries around the world we want to visit like Cuba, New Zealand, Egypt, U.S.A, Hawaii, Florida, China, Thailand all of Europe, Alaska or Iceland to see the nothern lights etc etc etc lol We just need to sit down and put things in an order. We went to Spain a couple of weeks ago and Greece last weekend (although Greece doesnt count as holiday, we just go to see my family).. So we have already started some small travels and are now gathering money for a big one in May. We have a dilemma though....shall we move house next month and have a small holiday in May or not move house and have a big one? (i.e: Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Grand Canyon). We will see what money we can gather and decide which is more important. During the 2 years of planning the wedding we sacrificed everything and worked really hard for it. No holidays, not much going out (if any), not new house, or furniture or things we wanted in general. So we thought now we have the opportunity to breath and chill and have fun together seeing the world and husband and wife.

I wouldnt worry about putting my career first. If you have the option of getting a better paid job and better opportunities then you should not let them pass you buy. The more opportunities you get the better the future for your family. If you are lucky enough to get opportunities then go for them. When we have kids I want us to have enough money not just to raise them but also to give them the best we can and do family holidays. At the same time I want us to have travelled and have had some fun as a married couple because kids are a great responsibility and require all of your focus and attention and when I have them I dont want to feel like I have sacrificed my life. So the right time for us will be in about 3 years, cause we will have travelled a bit, I will have finished my course, we will have a new house and I will be in a better paid job (hopefully). The right time is different for everyone but I wouldnt worry about age....there is no book of rules indicating that :-). If you dont mind me asking, how old are you then?

At the same time, however much I want to have a baby or 2 with my lovely man (and hopefully they will look like him, especially his eyes), I am sooo scared of raising my own kids! What if I screw up completely? What if they grow up to be I dont know, drug addicts lets say or something horrible? What if they are nasty kids? People say it is up to the parents to raise their kids the right way, but how do you know you are not making a mistake? How do you know what the right thing to do is? I am absolutely terrified lol. So, I am ok worrying about which country to go to next I think for now....and in 3 years I will become a mummy. I am not even gonna plan it to be honest....what will be will be, if it happens sooner then good. If not then good again. It is just my priorities would have to change if I got pregnant earlier. It will not be about me and my husband anymore.....it will be about the baby 100% and if we can sqeeze ourselves in there every so often then bonus. I want them but I am sooo scared, I can not even explain it. :-)

Wow, so you want to see pretty much everywhere then!I'd love to see the Northern lights too, its on my 'bucket list'.

I think, if a house isn't high on your list of priorities, I would do the big holiday - everyone I know that has been, says that Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon are amazing. If we weren't so focused on wanting to move house, we would definitely use the money to go travelling too.

We worked really hard to save, like you, and made sure that our savings included money for a 10 day honeymoon so that we could enjoy ourselves for a bit after the stress of the wedding. But we also really want our own house to raise our family in, so all of the money that was going into the wedding fund each month is now going into the house fund. ☹️

I want to give my kids everything that I can - like you said, not just have enough money to raise them but also give them other opportunities.

That said - if I don't get this job that I'm going for, we might re-focus on having children sooner, and then I'll just have to work harder when I go back to work. It's weird how my family plans are in the hands of an employer who knows nothing about it!

And I'm only 27 - but, if I have to work for at least another year, I can't pregnant until I'm 28, then maybe give birth when I'm 29 so I won't want to start trying for the next one until I'm at least 30, maybe going on 31. And I know that medical advice generally says its best to have kids beofre 34, and I worry about potential fertility issues etc.

Maybe I just think too much.....!!

Ha ha maybe we BOTH think too much! ?

Yeah we are overanalysing it hahahaha what will be will be....it is supposed to be spontaneous anyway lol. Well I have friends over 30 and only just got married without kids and I also know lots of people over 40 getting married first time now with no kids so I wouldnt worry if I were you. I am younger yes, I am 22 hence why I am not in a rush. Mind you my husband is 30 but I guess it is a bit different for men. If I have them in 3 years I will be 25 which is ok but again as I said, it doesnt matter how old you are. As long as you want it and you feel ready. There is 16 year old kids with babies and they are very good parents. My mum had me when she was 19 and she is definetely the best mum in the world lol. And again my firend Natasha is 30 and she doesnt want to be a mum for another 3 years lol she just got married too but as well as that she has always been married to her job (teacher, he husband is a teacher too) and their travels and I am sure when she does have kids she will be an awesome mum! Dont worry hun there is no reason! :-)

I am going to use a phrase that I have seen used on hitched before and I really liked it: Age is just a number! :-)