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Beginner April 2017

Disappointed with my so called “new family’s” behaviour at our wedding.

SunnyYellowDecor849, 31 of May of 2017 at 14:37 Posted on Just Married 0 3

Disappointed with my so called “new family’s” behaviour at our wedding.

First just want to say me and my new husband had the best day ever and really enjoyed every minute however we are so disappointed with the behaviour of my husband’s side of the family, in particular his mum and sister. The only reason I write this is I am still in shock at the way their attitude and as a result feel totally different about them now, I feel I have made such a massive effort and I am constantly been shut down and pushed away and this is the final straw.

With various teething problems leading up to the big day finally out of the way (like them complaining about location of the wedding, guest list and seating plan) we thought they would be excited and happy to take part in the festivities but we were totally wrong.

Firstly they showed up very late to the wedding rehearsal the night before, sat completely grumpy and didn’t speak to anyone.

On the day itself they were grumpy throughout ceremony (we even have photos people captured of the eye rolls and whispering that took place by his mum and sis) and we received no congratulations afterwards.

His mother did not dance once throughout the whole reception, sat with arms crossed and didn’t get up from seat all night. Even when the band invited all guests on to dancefloor to say congratulations to us, she didn’t join us, husband was very annoyed by this as he specifically asked her up and she said no. My opinion was she will regret not dancing at her son’s wedding not us and she is making a show of herself not us, so I wasn’t really fussed or cared. I am only upset for my husband as he was embarrassed because everyone noticed she didn’t get up once.

His sister asked one of my work friends if she was really my friend!

His sister asked one of my bridesmaids if my brother had a drinking problem!

All the cousins on my husband’s side…and I’m not exaggerating every single cousin left the reception room as soon as the meal was over and as soon as the band started playing. They just all up and left, I saw a few of the guys later on in the night but all the girls left and went home.

The grandmother insisted on having a ‘family’ photo outside while the band was playing, taking 30+ people out of the reception room for almost an hour. Not to mention my hurt feelings by not being including in the so called ‘family’ photo, despite listening to a speech just an hour prior welcoming me into the family and how I was now a part of their family blah blah. Clearly not true.

Sister whispering to relatives, actually whispering with hand by mouth just like in primary school. This was caught on camera several times.

Everything was going on around us and we saw everything and were honestly very shocked and disappointed by a lot of people’s attitude that day and husband very upset and embarrassed. Our friends and our family saw it as well and many commented about it. The next day my husband was furious and didn’t even want to speak to his mum or sister. My family and friends made the day for us, they were supportive and excited to celebrate with us from start to finish and I am truly glad we didn’t allow this other childish behaviour to affect the day. The funny thing is several of his cousins and his sister are getting married in the next few yrs, our only question is how should we behave. Take the higher road and take part, dance, mingle. Or leave the room immediately and go home. Sit with arms crossed with a snarl on our faces. Go over to their friends/relatives and ask rude personal questions to them and then go whisper it to others.

3 replies

Latest activity by Kate, 2 of August of 2020 at 14:11
  • F
    Beginner September 2017
    FutureMrsTuff2017 ·
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    This is so shocking to read, I am really sorry to see that this happened on your big day. When it comes to the other weddings, I wouldn't bother turning up. Couldn't be doing with rubbish like that Smiley sad good on you for getting on with the day and best wishes for a very happy future together! x

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  • Montysmum
    Beginner March 2018
    Montysmum ·
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    Firstly congratulations on your wedding and I'm so pleased you had a good day despite their behaviour!

    Has your hubby spoken to them about their behaviour/ any indication why on earth they behaved like that?

    In regards to other weddings I would go, eat the free food then leave, but taking the high ground would say you should stay and show them how normal people behave on wedding days.

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  • H
    Rockstar June 2020
    HappyBlueCars582 ·
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    I'm not in any way trying to justify their behaviour but some people just hate weddings and all things wedding related. The whole thing of having to get up and dance and talk to people (especially strangers) can be a great source of anxiety for people. I know that his mum and sister would obviously know the other guests. My brother got married last year and our family are the complete opposite to his wife's family. Her family are very sociable, loud, chatty, outgoing, want to dance etc where as our family are all very shy, quiet, reserved and a few have had mental health issues and are recovering alcoholics. I know that quite a few of us found the wedding quite difficult to get through with the fear of having to interact with people we don't know or have to get up and dance! Weddings can be a complete social nightmare for some people and believe it or not, their concern is not for the bride as groom but for themself and just managing to get through what can be quite a stressful day for them.

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  • K
    Beginner August 2019 Oxfordshire
    Kate ·
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    I know this post is very old but I’m interested to see how you are doing a few years on? I had a terrible wedding experience similar to yours with arguing running up to the wedding and on the day (the lot!) and I’m struggling to still not get angry over it a year on despite me being all nice and fine when we see them now. How are things?
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