How do I tell a guy about a wedding?

A marriage is a partnership of equals, both working for the same goals.

You have plenty of options here, and all depend on if this guy is "the one", or not.

Only you know how you feel about him. Why are you in such a rush to get married? Be honest with yourself, and really search your soul. Don't be pressured or swayed by social media, family and friends.
Think about why he is not ready.

Only then can you make a decision about what to do next.

Some people crave the percieved security of a marriage, others feel that living together is committment enough.

You have only been together 2 years, and you have the rest of your life ahead of you. Make sure you know each other inside out and back to front before you committ. Divorce is emotionally and financially ruinous, and takes a long time to recover from. I met and married my first husband within 9 months. Disastrous, but at the time I was madly in love. I was more madly in love with having my big day and own home than I was with him, although I did love him. Marry in haste, repent at leisure! My family were dead against him and the marriage, and in hindsight, they were right. It just made me more determined to do what I wanted.

We are an older couple. I have been married before; I was married at 21 and divorced at 32. I am am single parent to two (now adult) girls, and I met my Husband-to-be in 2011 after being single since the divorce. We have lived together for the past 8 years and are marrying next year. I knew he was my "One" early on in the relationship, and once we started living together, I did start hinting at getting married. He has never lived with anyone else, or been married and doesn't have any children, but he was still unsure/unready to get hitched. I kinda had to gently nudge him in the right direction when an opportunity presented itself last year when we went to collect a ring I'd bought in a vintage jewellers. We chose my ring together there and then, and the shop owners gave us a bottle of Champagne. It was lovely, emotional and very special. I had to wait another 2 weeks whilst it was resized, and then another 2 days after we collected it before he proposed and gave me my ring though! It was an agony keeping our secret until the ring was ready and then annoucing to our immediate family that we were finally getting married.

Sorry for the long post, but I just wanted to point out that if he's really "the One", you can work this out. Be patient, be in it for the long haul, but you may have to accept that he won't change his mind.

Love, Ali in Liverpool xx

Ali I am very happy that you are getting married and I hope that this time it will be successful.

I understand everything perfectly, but I am also not young, I am 32 years old and I already want a family and children. I want emotions when I choose engagement rings , I want to wear a white dress, I want the child to be born in a legal marriage, I want to cook Breakfast for them and do the housework, but as a wife, not just his girlfriend.

Hi hun

I can understand all of that. I really can. BUT.......you used the word "fighting" when talking about your wedding. That worries me. A lot. You can't pressurise someone into marrying you, they have to be ready. You say that you don't want to be "just his girlfriend" and that you want a child born "in a legal marriage". He may not be ready for children, either.

No-one bats an eyelid now if parents are not married when a child is born, but this is obviously very, very important to you. Have you had the children discussion yet? This may clarify things a bit more for you.

Can you continue with your relationship as it stands at the moment? If he is the love of your life then a piece of paper and a couple of rings shouldn't be the be-all and end-all, but rather the icing on the cake.

You could always break with tradition and propose to him, but think it through carefully beforehand, be prepared for the answer you don't want.

Best of luck to you both, whatever you decide to to.

Ali xx

No, we didn't discuss whether he wanted children. But I'm not saying that there should be children immediately after the wedding. But I also need some certainty, because for two years it is enough to know exactly whether he wants to be together with me or not.