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Newbie Bride November 2021 Dublin

Let down by my sisters

LAura, 5 November 2020 at 14:05 Posted on Just Married 0 2
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Hi there! I’m new to all of this but I would really like some advice or help from anyone who’s been in a similar situation please 🙏

I was due to get married abroad but Covid messed that up and long story short I got married at my house! We are planning to have an almost wedding party abroad next year so we can wear the white dress and tuxedo and have that it’s not over yet! Who doesn’t love a good party eh!
Basically I am the youngest of my sisters and the first to be married so I asked them to be my bridesmaids (even though we are not that close). I thought it might bring us together.
Not once before the wedding did we all meet, every time one of them had an excuse. Once it was “oh I’m just going to go out (to the pub) instead”. I was incredibly hurt by this. I did spent hundreds on each of them in terms of gifts, dresses, bags accessories etc. and one of them said she didn’t even like the gift I got her! They didn’t help with one thing wedding related (my best friends did) and when the wedding got cancelled I had no support from them and yet again no help getting ready for this new wedding at home. My heart was broken.
When the day came...none of them even got us a gift, helped set up or they didn’t even welcome my husband to be. It was so awful.
Now we are going to start planning the wedding party and I don’t want them to be my bridesmaids anymore....what should I do 😭😭thank you so much 🙏

2 replies

Latest activity by HappyBlueCars582, 6 November 2020 at 09:32
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    Rockstar Bride June 2020
    HappyBlueCars582 ·
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    Sorry that you feel so upset and I don’t mean to sound cruel or heartless in any way but being a bridesmaid sucks. I hated it and tried to get out of it without success. I don’t agree with the whole bridesmaid concept at all. When a couple decide to get married that’s their choice and it’s up to them to arrange their wedding and they shouldn’t expect others to help out with it or be super excited about the wedding. People have a lot going on in their own lives and it’s selfish of brides to expect other people me to give up their free time for someone else’s wedding arrangements/planning. Half the time I don’t even think girls want to be a bridesmaid but they feel so much pressure from the bride that they can’t say no. I’d never want anyone to feel that way.
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  • April21Bride
    Dedicated Bride July 2021 West London
    April21Bride ·
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    I’d say- ask them if they still want to be bridesmaids and say what you’d want from someone in the role.

    Personally I agree with the lady above - it is stressful and people do have their own lives. As a bridesmaid I was always open on the fact I wouldn’t be going up and down the country looking for dresses but the brides who asked me knew that I was great at getting things done so was helpful on the day. My bridesmaids aren’t involved in any of my planning (exactly how I want it) instead they are there for me just as in our normal lives as people to check in with, (hopefully) have a kick ass hen do and hype me up as I marry the love of my life.
    There is no such thing (IMHO) as an exact bridesmaids role. You have to make that decision with them. If they can’t/don’t want to deliver in the way you want - get new ones.
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