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Beginner March 2024 Derbyshire

No shows at wedding

Clare, 6 of March of 2024 at 07:51 Posted on Just Married 0 4
My husband and I got married on Saturday, out of 70 guests we had 6 people not show up to the ceremony, meal and reception.

One couple called me an hour before our ceremony to say they’d have to ‘bail’ because their dog had just thrown up and they were going to the vet. No other reason, just their dog, who is fine by the way.
One guest text me late the night before the wedding saying she tested positive for Covid, no apologies, sent us no wedding card etc.
The other 3 were no shows and didn’t call, text or get in touch with anyone. My bridesmaids reached out to them and got left on read. These are people I’ve been friends with for years, never had a falling out with even once, gone above and beyond to make their birthdays and other occasions special, then they had no decency to even tell us they were not coming. They all RSVP’d as coming, told us dietary requirements etc.
We had empty seats at tables and I honestly cried on the day as I was so hurt that these people who I thought were good friends couldn’t be bothered to let us know they wouldn’t be coming.
I’ve not said anything to them at all since it happened and I’m torn between whether I should let them have a week or so to get in touch or just block them and delete their numbers now.
Has anyone else had no shows with no explanation?

4 replies

Latest activity by Sarah, 15 of April of 2024 at 00:05
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    With the no-shows who contacted you beforehand, I think you just have to accept it as part of life. Your friend with Covid was actually being very responsible and considerate by not attending and giving her germs to everyone else, and it's understandable that your friends with the dog would cancel. While the dog may be fine now, if it was sick enough to need to go to the vet, it was obviously quite poorly and a responsible pet owner is not going to leave an animal to suffer.

    As for the ones who didn't contact you at all and haven't responded to messages, I would wait to hear from them. It's just possible that one or more of them (you don't say if these are three separate individuals or one family) have been taken seriously ill or received traumatic news which has driven everything else out of their heads. However, if there is no good reason and you don't get a sincere apology, I would distance myself from these people. You don't have to block them, I just wouldn't continue to invest time in those friendships.

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  • Ivana
    Dedicated August 2024 East London
    Ivana ·
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    Thanks for sharing and sorry you felt sad on your wedding day because those people did not show up for you and your husband.

    I would say give it some time and see if they will reach out and explain why they did not show up or say anything on the day. Try to think back and maybe see if it is a reoccurring behaviour from them where they bail last minute for events, if not maybe something else has happened. So wait for them to reach out and explain. For the ones who had reached out to you and had reasons, do not feel resentful, some people have different priorities in life, others were sick, so you can't really expect them to show up. I know it can be hurtful that your friend did not show up for you but again life happens. About the no gift or card comment, you can't expect everyone coming to your wedding to gift you something as they may not be able to afford it, and if the person didn't show up they might just think they don't need to send one, weird but it is some people's logic. Honestly I'm expecting for people to come to our wedding and not bring anything and that's just the reality of things.

    Honesty enjoy being newlywed. Don't let that dampen your mood. Things will sort themselves out and you will find out why your friends couldn't make it. Then you can make your decision if you still want them in your life.

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  • Hampshire Wedding Photographer
    Hampshire Wedding Photographer ·
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    I know it's a bit too late, as your wedding has been an gone, but I hope this advice helps other Brides and Grooms in the future. It's hard not to be disheartened when people don't attend your wedding but you should always plan for about 10% of your wedding guests to not arrive - this was said to me on my wedding day, but as a wedding photographer I've seen this hundreds of times. This should have been explained to your by your planner or venue when arranging tables etc.

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  • Sarah
    Rockstar August 2024 West Midlands
    Sarah ·
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    I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s so disrespect and rude. People’s true colours really show when it comes to weddings. But, by the sounds of it - it’s a good thing they didn’t turn up. I’m sure you don’t need people so ungrateful in your lives.

    Personally, I’d find it really difficult to not message as like you said, it’s hurtful. But equally, silence says so much sometimes. I wouldn’t even give them the satisfaction. By ignoring them and moving on with your lives, will leave them pondering and also leaves them in the wrong! Otherwise, through hurt and anger many messages may be exchanged and somehow, you may end up being the baddie!! Some people love to fit stories around their own narrative.

    I hope you had a lovely day minus this and congratulations xx

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