11am vs 4pm Wedding - Please help!

I would go for 4pm. It is a little late but I would much rather have a short, fab time than an extended, dull time. ? 11am is way too early imo and there will be inevitable long, boring gaps for your guests. We are getting married at 3pm for this reason and literally everyone I have told has mentioned the fact that most weddings are too long. The venue wedding planner of course wants you to be there for longer...

How many guests do you have?

Personally I agree that 11am would be better as the wedding day is the only chance we get everyone together and I want to enjoy every moment - so many brides say how quickly the day went (imagine if you loose 5 hours from it)

The biggest thing for me would be how it impacts upon the budget - you do have to make sure everyone is kept fed and watered for 13 hours. You could stretch out the drinks reception if you are having one and provide more substantial food then? Does the venue have hotel rooms, you may find that some all day guests are thankful of an hour "spare" so they can freshen up and not miss any of the evening party?

It depends on how long a reception you want and what sort of thing you are after - a 4pm wedding may mean that you are a bit more rushed in the evening, especially if you want a sit-down meal before evening guests arrive. Or it works in your favour and you can invite everyone to the whole day and go straight into an earlier evening reception.

Am going to be nosy and ask which venue you have gone with. We are looking at MK as an option as we are in Oxfordshire.

11! It's the biggest day of your life. Enjoy every last minute, I say. ?

Just to add, we are getting married at 3pm then travelling to our reception which starts at 4pm - having an hour or so chatting etc, then dinner until 7ish, dancing starts 8pm. Everyone coming to everything. I think that is plenty of time personally. All killer, no filler. ?

We are having an early lunch at around midday for our two families, then getting ready/drinking champers/having some photos.

That's not a bad idea at all, if it's in a hotel you could formally end the 'day' part at 5.30-6.00 and start the evening reception at 7.00. People who want to pop to their room/home/get changed/have a quiet sit-down/drop the kids off/have a nap/wander around the area/grounds could do so.

My friend had the same problem - a choice between 11 and 4. In the end, she picked 4pm. Initially she was a bit upset that it would seem like she was having a shorter day, but in reality, the day was perfect. Her ceremony was half and hour long (at most!) and we all drank pimms and ate canapés after for about an hour. We then went into the marquee for the reception meal which started at about half 5 or 6pm. The disco started at half 8. Everything flowed really well and there were no dull lull moments which can sometimes happen when a ceremony is earlier. She was really pleased that she had chosen 4pm in the end - she got to enjoy the morning (which is also part of the whole "wedding" day) and then really enjoyed the evening.

Aww well for a start don't stress! There's merits to both times and there's no wrong or right. My personal view is that 5 hours is a bit long and that 4pm is a bit late, the fact that the middle period between those two is already booked kind of tells you where the optimal time slot lies! Therefore, it comes down to either filling the 5 hour slot with something awesomely fun, or accepting a shorter wedding, and that'll come down to your personal preferences/wedding ideas! Personally I'd go with the earlier one and put in a game of rounders/mega sports day with sack races etc. but that's me!

Kharv - We are having about 70 people in the day and about 90 at night.

Kentish Gal - That was my exact thought to begin with. I am a worrier though and I don't want to spend the day worrying the everyone is bored.

Nixy3 - Its the Mercure Parkside House. I would suggest a look

It is a hotel and the majority of my OHs family will be staying as they are from Leicester but most of my family will be just there for the day.

These are two suggested itineraries:

Option 1
11am Ceremony
11:30am Reception Drinks
2.00pm Receiving Line (optional)
2.30pm Speeches (either before or after the meal)
3.00pm Meal
5.00pm Coffee and Tea in the front Lounge
5.30pm Evening Guests arrive
7.00pm Cutting of the cake and First Dance
8.30pm Evening Buffet served

There are 5 hours spare time including reception drinks in this one.

Option 2
4pm Ceremony
4.30pm Reception Drinks
6pm Meal
7.30pm Speeches
8.00pm Evening Guests arriving and tea and coffee in the front lounge
9.00pm Cutting of the cake and first dance
9.30pm Evening buffet served

There are 2 1/2 hours of spare time including reception drinks in this one.

I agree with Marianne and I'd go for the 11am out of the two.

Ooh, tricky one. I think if it was me I'd go for 4pm. Personally I would think that 11am is quite a lot earlier than what I would ideally want for a starting time (say 2/3pm) whereas 4pm is only an hour or so past an ideal time? Does that make sense? lol.

I do see what people are saying about having as much time as possible with everyone but I've found in the past that sometimes long breaks or a long day can sort of interfere with the momentum and feel of the day. As a guest it starts to drag a bit. Just my opinion! Also as the bride, I love the idea of having a nice chilled morning and not having to have a mad rush.

We went to a wedding the other week where the ceremony time was 3pm and it was great! We had a nice chilled morning getting ready, had lunch before we went so it didn't matter that they didn't have canapés between the ceremony and the meal and we had plenty of breaks in between sitting in the grounds having drinks. after the ceremony while photos were being taken and between the meal and the evening while the room was changed around.That's something I think you'd have to consider with an 11am start, if you weren't planning to already I reckon you'd have to think about offering canapés. 11-5/6 is a long time for people. I don't really like the idea of people having a big break in the middle where they could go home etc. I think it would cut the day in half a bit.

With 4pm you might just have to have a slightly later arrival time for evening guests (if you're having) but I wouldn't have thought much after 8 possibly?

Hope you settle on something you're happy with

Hi MrsBeckiW!

I would personally go for 11. If you go for 4pm, you might end up being really rushed. From what I've heard, a lot of things like ceremony, photos etc over run, so you wouldnt want to be panicking if this happened and trying to keep to a strict timetable

If you go for 11, you can have a really relaxed day, spent with your friends and family, and if things over run its not a massive issue. And like others have said, everyone keeps telling me how the day will just flash by, and you should enjoy as much of it as possible!!

xx

Oh, just seen your itineraries now! :o)

Personally, I would do this:

Option 1
11.00am Ceremony
11:30am Reception Drinks & photos
1.00pm Receiving Line (optional)
1.30pm Speeches (either before or after the meal)
2.00pm Meal
4.30pm Coffee and Tea in the front Lounge
6.30pm Evening Guests arrive
7.30pm Cutting of the cake and First Dance
8.30pm Evening Buffet served

but you know your venue, your guests and what (scope for) entertainment you have, so you would know better!

Do you have anything going on? Any garden games? Charicature or magician during the mingling? Etc

I'm getting married at 4 as that's the earliest our dream venue will allow. I would have preferred a little earlier but my mum and bridesmaids will be with me in the morning and I'm really looking forward to that time too. We've worked out timings and our evening reception will still start at 8pm. We're having canapés during photos but missing out a starter to shave 40 minutes from the sit down meal.

Ooooh, thank you, am looking at their website now. It looks like a lovely place - what about some outside games, croquet, sports day races - silly things like that which will fill the time?

With an 11 am start, you can probably consider a slightly earlier finish and shift everything a little. People might prefer the option to hang around drinking later to the non-option of hanging around drinking in the middle of the day? I would have the meal earlier than 3 pm - people won't have eaten since 9 am. I would also consider having the speeches separate from the meal, just to keep a regular stream of "events" going. Could you incorporate a quiz/treasure hunt type game as well, so that it has a bit of structure (rather than a casual game of rounders)?

11 am ceremony.

11:30 am drinks (make sure you provide lots of soft drinks/tea/coffee at this time), photos, games.

2 pm dinner

5 pm coffee

5:30 pm speeches

6:30 pm evening guests

7 pm cake, first dance

8 pm buffet

11 pm finish.

When I booked our registrar we were given a choice between 3.30pm or something ridiculously early like 9am, I chose 3.30pm. An afternoon wedding for me is perfect, I don't do rushed and am not a morning person at all. I'm also a teeny bit uncomfortable in social situations so having less time to fill is a good thing for me! OH on the other hand has already been onto the venue about extending the evening hire by a few hours. (He should know by now that I always toddle off home around 11 for a brew).

I'm not worried about the amount of time, inbetween rooms being changed around for various parts of the day there will be lots of opportunity for mingling and people will make the effort to come and find you and spend time with you.

Looking at those itineraries I'd go 11am! I had a noon ceremony and my evening guests arrived from 6pm - it worked really well.

Obviously everyone has very different ideas about how the day should go. I personally think 11am is way too early. I was told by my register office that the latest they could do was 1.30 (I was hoping for 4pm). I really could not imagine keeping people occupied for that length of time, also I would worry about the drinkers in my family who would then be hammered by the time the evening guests arrived! For this reason we have had to change our day, so we could have a later ceremony. I guess it depends on your family and yourselves, I know that mine will be there till the bitter end and into the early hours of the morning, so an early finish wouldn't work for us because they'd just want to stay out longer, but thats not to say it wouldn't work for others.

Sorry about your dilemma! I can see pros and cons to both so I can't be much help I'm afraid. One suggestion about the 4pm ceremony though, could you request that your venue extend your evening 'disco' to 1am? Most finish at mid night, and ours does, but there's an option to pay extra to extend it to 1am if we wanted to. I think if you could do that, the 4pm option is better. My best friend got married earlier this year, 11:30 ceremony, and although I was MOH and loved it, it was a lonnnnnggg day! Everyone was really, really drunk, including the bride!

Out of the 2 times I say go for the 11am one. Your day will be over in a flash however long you think you have. Also none of it is "spare time" it is time to soak up the day and relax an talk to your guests, so often with later weddings the bride and groom are swept off there feet needing to be here there and everywhere all in a short space of time leaving no time to relax, and they have not yet properly spoken to the day guests before the eve ones arrive. Go for the receiving line as that will take up some time and the more people in the line will take longer too. I have an 11am wedding this Friday although at a Church which adds time and also travel time between Church and venue

Personally I would go for 11. We had an 11:30 service, and if I could, I would have made it a little earlier. Yes it is a long day, but it is an amazingly perfect day that you only do once!!
We still ran out of time to do certain things, and with so many people to speak to, so many photographs to pose for, so much champagne to sip, you need lots of time!!
People told us that they enjoyed the time between the service, meal, evening etc to speak to other people, relax etc.

The day will fly by as it is, extending it is definitely worth it!! Plus, my thought was that if the venue charged X amount for the day, why not make the most of it?!

What time of year are you planning for? We were the end of March and had planned garden games, lawn reception etc, but it was sooooo bl00dy cold that everyone was inside (my biggest fear/nightmare) but it worked really well and people were complimentary on everything.

I would personally go for 11am.

It is very early but for me after all the planning etc I would want my 'wedding day' and not 'wedding evening'.....and 4pm is very late.

I think move the meal forward, have some snacks when people are having reception drinks (dont have to be expensive) OR someone I know is serving tea / coffee and cake at the church straight after the service before moving on to the venue, so you could service tea and coffee / biscuits straight after the service / ceremony? This will stop people getting hungry which is usually peoples biggest moan...

Once people have had the meal they are more happy to sit around drinking and mingle... maybe ask the DJ to get there an hour earlier and by that point most people will be in the party spirit and not hungry so dont notice the extra hour or two in the evening?

I'd go for 11am - right up until after your meal there won't be any gaps, and this allows plenty of time for photos in good light as well. You'll find after the meal some guests will make the most of the gap and check in, freshen up, and just have a bit of a chill out before the evening reception starts. We do plenty of 11am ceremonies and the day's run fine ?

I'd go for 11am and get some entertainment in then have a freshen up hour later, you could also add things like a cocktail hour - also add games such as mr and mrs game etc. Everyone expects to wait around 1-2 hours for drinks reception and roughly up to an hour between the wedding breakfast and evening reception so just think about filling the excess time that goes past the standard milling around time.

11am may be amazingly perfect for the bride, but probably not for the guests. I've been to a few weddings at noon and to be honest most people got bored. I know I did.

Your venue has said 11am because they know they will make more money out of the day, mainly through booze, rather than because it is necessarily a better time. People will be hammered before lunch with your 11am itinerary!

I dont agree, I think if people have eaten they wont mind... its when people get hungry that causes problems... and you know... you are paying for THEM to come to your wedding.. YOUR wedding... you have what you want.. if a few guests get bored then Oh well, its your wedding day not theirs and they should be happy being there in the first place.

There is so much emphasis on how your guests will feel and while this is important its not as important as what you want from your day. Remember that.

Totally agree with Len.

I think most people here are thinking from the bride & groom's point of view (for obvious reasons!) and that is fine, it is your day etc etc, but from a guests perspective you are running the risk that people will get bored/hungry/tired/hammered. There is only so much mingling one wants to do surely? ? I honestly think if you are struggling to fill the time (PLEASE GOD no receiving line ?) then you have started too early and what your guests will remember about your wedding is that it was too long.

Also consider whether people have to travel to be there - an 11am start may mean people have to pay for another night's accommodation.

11am is what I'd go for. ?

As a guest I write off the whole day when I go to a wedding, so unless I have to travel, and, as mentioned above, book extra accomodation, I'd be right up for it! I'd feel a wee bit cheated if I went to the supermarket, did some chores, walked the dog and after lunch said 'better get ready for the wedding now'. And if I'm buying a new dress, shoes and handbag (which I surely am!) let's get full use out of it.

If there wasn't a bar I'd struggle a little, otherwise it would be a great day for me ?