14 days to go…….

Aw this is a tough one, I feel for you! Is the surprise going to be for everyone or just your H2B? If it's just for your H2B then I would say it probably won't take over the whole day but if it's a surprise for the rest of the family as well then it might end up that way I think it's a very shitty thing to do 2 weeks before, he could have given you prior warning to sort everything out or to say you don't want him there x

Personally, in this situation I would tell my future husband. If its potentially going to cause problems on the day, I think its right he should know and it shouldn't be sprung on him on your special day. To be honest I feel the best man has stepped over the line here. If your H2B wasn't bothered about his brother coming due to family issues, I don't see why the best man feels its in his right to do something like this. Also I think you need support in handling this and that if you don't tell your H2B you may stew over it on the entire build up to the wedding day.

Obviously I don't know the entire situation. But from what you have written this is just my opinion on how I would handle it. I hope you will be okay

I agree with Kirsty - I would tell your H2B. Do it when you can say it calmly and without injecting your frustration into it otherwise he’ll be guided by your apprehension, but then once you know his true feelings about it you can have his support for dealing with it.

The risk of not planning to tell him is that you’ll be so stressed about it that you might accidentally blurt it out upsetly at some point.

I can see that the best man has probably tried to do something from a kind place, but it sounds like he has no idea of the practical and financial implications for you guys.

I can understand why this has thrown you out a bit, but I think you may be worrying needlessly. Unless there has been some kind of family falling-out or your OHs brother is the kind who always demands to be the centre of attention, I don't think it will detract attention from your day at all. Presumably, he's not just flying in for the wedding and straight back out again, so there will time for other family members to catch up with him after the wedding.

I would try to look on it as having come from a good place - your best man probably thinks he is doing something amazingly kind by 'surprising' the groom in this way and obviously hasn't thought through the implications of his surprise. I do agree that I would consider telling your OH before the wedding though, as he may need time to adjust to the idea before the actual ceremony.