****2016 Brides**** 326 brides (and 3 grooms!) so far!

Families are rarely straight forward,

My H2B family are very religious and we came up with a compromise but it has been disregarded.

H2B isn't very religious but will bow to what this dad wants.

What upsets me is that it hasn't been discussed with me. His dad has asked me to convert to Catholicism but I cant help I don't believe in god.

His dad said we have to get married in a church and that is that.

I'm quite upset at this at the moment so haven't had the energy to really argue it out yet and need to weigh up if it is worth it or it is a losing battle.

We would have to go to church to do this and get the connection, which neither of us really want to do.

Yes it is our day but we can't forsake his family.

(mine aren't bothered about how we do it)

Oh Hun, that must be so frustrating. What a shame his dad is acting like that.

You just have to be honest and firm on that point, you're not religious, you cant get married in the church. Surely that would be a lie to god if you did?!

Morning ladies!

I've just got back after a couple of days away, glad to see some more brides joining us ? I've added you all now. Lovely to see so many date twins/triplets appearing

Congratulations especially to IGBMY for getting your twin (and then triplet too!), I know how much you wanted one haha!

Sorry to see some of you are having some family issues, I feel your pain with that one, hopefully it will blow over for all of you.

Congratulations and massive squeals to the other 16th July brides that passed the 2 year mark yesterday!! Our tickers now say '1 year and...' ?????

Yay laurafish! It doesnt seem as far away now! Eeep I need to get bookimg a TOG next! Still trying to decide!

Very silly but I'm way too excited to see out tickers .... !

YAYYYYYY ? I don't have a ticker, I may just have to get one for this alone, plus we booked the registry office this morning (it's killed me having to wait for the 2 year mark to pass so I could book it), I am just waiting their confirmation email back, so that's it when I have that, it's finally offical ?

I have a confession :/

i don't actually feel like I want to get married now. All the excitement just feels likes it disappeared, it came after the OH said yesterday evening that getting engaged didn't mean he wanted to get married he saw it as more of a commitment to be there for me and protect and make sure I was looked after if my parents were no longer around.

I know he's my OH and I'm meant to say nice things about him and so and so but I honestly swear he's 'backwards'. He thinks about the most daftest things, in all honesty (even my mum thinks this) why on earth did he think I know I'll ask her to marry me? If he wanted a commitment to each other I don't get why he just didn't say instead of engagement ring here is a ring to show I'm committed to you but we're not engaged.

I'm wondering if this is nerves about settling down and getting our own place etc, suddenly it's all becoming 'real' for him?

Aww Littlesnowflake! First off, big squishy hugs to you. What brought all this on then, with him coming out with all of that? Do you honestly think its nerves? Obviously I cannot stipulate as I have never had a convo with your OH. How did he say this to you? In all seriousness or light-heartedly. Is he generally that type of character where he doesnt think twice, amd quite impulsive?

Has he actually Said he doesnt want to get married? Or is he just being a bit indesicive about what he wants?

I think you two need to lay it all out on the table so you know where each othet stands. Get cross, have a row, then make up!

Let us know how you get on, we will help you get to the bottom of this!

*more squishy hugs*

The Situation was this;

We were having a nosy at a house yesterday and he got all arsy when I said you cant let speed bumps get in the way of choosing somewhere to live. He didn't like it, and then it all broke into a row and I stopped talking to him till we got home.

Mum seems to think he doesn't know what he wants out of life. I cant remember how it sounded, it just didn't feel very nice, I didn't know how to reply so kept quiet. He's the type to over think things :/ He's not said he doesn't want to get married, I just think its indecisive.

Oh LittleSnowflake all I can do is send you hugs I know thats not a lot but I dont really have any other advice to add to what has already be suggested. It sounds like a bad day and the stress of thw wedding and house made him say something that he might of not meant in the way it game out!

Chin up chick and let us know how you get on

xxx

LSF you are definitely not alone! Before my OH proposed we were at the stage in our relationship where we had already shown our commitment by living together for 4 years and buying a house together. At this point I had gone past the hinting stage regarding marriage and was even asking him about what we would have at our wedding etc. In October he finally proposed! Come Christmas I was itching to start planning and set a date. My OH however wasn't interested in discussing it at all! When I asked why he proposed if he didn't want to plan a wedding he said he proposed to shut me up about weddings for a bit (he did say it in a jokey way but this really upset me at the time). Erm surely proposing to someone is not going to shut them up about weddings, it will only make them more excited about planning, and this indeed happen with us! I couldn't understand it at all. We talked about it a bit and I guess we had misunderstood each other a bit. I guess I thought that engagement meant wedding, whereas to him an engagement was an important step but he saw the wedding being further into the future. We 'compromised' on setting a date in 2016. I think you should talk to your OH and figure out what each other wants. Presumably if you have booked things for the wedding then your OH really does want to marry you and he would have said something by now if he thought it was too fast? HUGS!

My OH has terrible habit of overthinking things too. Perhaps like another hitcher said, that he is just feeling a bit strssed, or that things are just going faster in his life than he anticipated. Im sure he does want to still get married, perhaps his brain is feeling a bit messy with lots of big life changes happening at the same time (like marriage and house hunting). Some people can easily embrace change, others like it to be slow moving. Perhaps your OH likes change at a more slower pace. There is nothing wrong with that, it doesn't mean that he doesnt want the same end goal as you. Maybe mention this to him? You will both get through this little patch, im sure. One big thing at a time may work best for him :-)

Exactly this! He knew what I was like - I always get excited at wedding stuff and house stuff.
Maybe it was just a bad day?!

Oh LS I'm sorry you're feeling down I've definitely had moments like that and I know how horrible it is. Like IGBMN said, if your OH went ahead with booking the wedding and didn't bring anything up then, it's likely he's just feeling a bit overwhelmed and having a bad day, and said something he didn't really mean. I think it's worth talking about, letting him know how you feel and finding out how he feels - but at the same time don't work yourself up too much about it x

I guess William Shakespeare once said "The course of true love never did run smooth."

BIG HUGS LS.

Maybe it's all too much change too quick, especially with a wedding and a house move in the mix, and maybe he didn't mean it to come out the way it sounded.

As rubbish as it is, it's best not to avoid the topic and hope it goes away. Have a talk to him, see if it's all getting a bit too much and see if there is anyway you can help him feel better with it all. If the chat goes well and things are back on track, take a month or 2 out of wedding planning and talking about it (we have the luxury we can do that as we are all planning on a 2016 wedding). Start again slowly when things have settled down and he's feeling more comfortable. We had a month off talking about the wedding, even when people bought up the topic, we told them we couldn't talk about it (I of course still came on here for a chat, so don't be telling on me know te he he), but it was nice to go back to being a couple and not being swept up in all the excitement of when you first get engaged. We are back planning things now and it's a lot more relaxed.

more big hugs and hope you sort it out ?

Hi Ladies! First post to this discussion! Newbie alert!

So me and OH have decided on a beautiful ceremony venue in Bournemouth -Russell cotes Art gallery and museum. We are hoping to put the deposit down in the next month.

Im having trouble trying to find a reception venue, as the venue of the art gallery is from 4pm for two hours (the room we want to be married in has to be an afternoon ceremony).

We dont live in bournemouth so unsure where is nice, we are on a small budget and really all we want is somewhere that we can have a marquee with a bbq/hog roast and fireworks in the evening.

It is mainly down to us as his parents live in yorkshire and my mum isnt interested at all in wedding planning which is disheartening

thankyou ladies, happy planning

How exciting I am now a triplet. Have another bride to add to the 10 Sept so happy for everyone x will be here before we know it x

Once more with feeling - date changed to 26th July!

You were right Ladies! Suppliers do take your bookings more seriously when you have less than 2 years to go. Just booked and paid a deposit for my hair and MUA. Obviously far too early to discuss styles etc but at least I can relax knowing that I have got some help with making myself look half way decent on my big day *sigh of relief* !

So far I have the following sorted with deposits all paid

Venue and registrar
Photographer
Venue decoration
Cake
and THE dress

Starting to think I'm being too organised ?

Hi 2016 brides, I'm glad I'm not alone!! everyone who asks me says oh you have ages to go!! I don't think so!! I don't have a set date yet but hoping for September 2016 we find out in January! I may not have a venue but I'm still panicking I'm not going to have enough time!

Any brides based in hampshire? I'm struggling with finding a reasonable caterer and also some to provide tables, chairs, tableware everything!!!??

Any ideas will be truly welcome!

yaya for 2016 brides!!!

Another booking made on Sunday - feels like a huge relief knowing it's official ?

Bookings made so far ?

Venue (ceremony + reception in same place)

Humanist

Photographers

Decor company (chair covers, centrepieces, etc)

Caterers

I now feel a bit lost and don't know what I should be doing at this stage? ? Anyone else on the same boat?

Can anyone think of something I should be looking at or should I just do some general browsing?

So far I have only booked the venue and registrar! I wish I have booked more, but I cant decide on a TOG at all!! I just wanna get all the big things booked ASAP!

Last night, OH and I started to toy with the idea of having a super duper small ceremony and meal, literally just parents, children and siblings, so about 20. Then kick start the reception at 3pm for everyone else... It would save us hundreds of pounds on drinks and catering... Soooo tempting, but I havr a feeling that a lot of people would get upset.. :-(

Great to see some of you getting more bookings now - good to hear you are getting better responses now Shelly

We bought our insurance last night so now can pay the deposit on the venue (the date is currently being held for us) and then we have an official wedding!

I would say you have the luxury of being able to just browse and see the sort of things you like for a while. I've started designing our save the dates as I want to design all our stationery, so if you're planning to do that it might be worth coming up with some rough ideas now. Obviously there's no rush so I'm just doing bits here and there when I have a free moment - finding it hard so far!

When do you guys think you will send your save the dates?

Laurafish - I was thinking of sending my save the dates Jan 2016... Hopefully before people start buying cheap holidays in the sales...

ETA: and that is when a lot of people book annual leave in work, Hmmm maybe December would be better! Chuck a load in with Xmas cards!! Save on stamps!!

Sorry HMM, cross posted with you! If it's what the two of you want, I'm sure people would get over it eventually! I can't help with practical advice I'm afraid as I know our guest list is pretty big, and I'd struggle to cut it down. But I'm sure there are plenty of people who would be able to help you with it

Edit: cross posted with you again!

I was thinking December too, exactly the same as you, put them in with the Christmas cards! I was wondering if it would be a bit late as some people do say to do it a year before, but 7 months should be fine I think. Invitations will be going out around April, so that's 5 months between the two.

Yeah I like those timings! Cool, I will be doing that then!! Yaaaaay! I can put that deadline down then on my phone :-) thats something new planned :-)

HeavyMetalMaiden-

thats actually not a bad shout. We've been looking at numbers (both have very large families) and it's getting beyond a joke especially with the increasing cost.

Will definitely see where we can minimise number for the ceremony and then just invite the rest to the evening :-)

Hi guys, please can you add me to the list?

5th August for me.

Starting to plan so getting excited now! Booked the Venue and Registra xx

Welcome to our 80th bride! ?

Welcome new brides (and WHOOPPP!! 80 of us now ?)

@HeavyMetalMaiden If you and your OH are happy with a smaller ceremony and kicking off the rest of the party at 3 then do it! People will always be upset with what you decide to do. We are both of the firm belief, if you don’t like what we are deciding to do, you really don’t know us, and you don’t have to come! (ha!)

What are you stuck on with your choice of TOG? Anything we can help with?

@HeatherPattonx if you know what décor you are having you can always look at invites, or you could start looking for a dress??

@Shelly70, Fab news, I’ve got a girl in mind for make-up not booked her yet, but have spoken to her, I’m just struggling to find someone for the hair. What’s next for you then?

@Excited2016bride, don’t worry we are all super organised on here, te he he ?

@laurafish who did you get your insurance with, still need to sort that out, but keep putting it off.

@LittleSnowflake Hope you managed to sort everything out (hugs)