2nd time around - Middle aged (mature!) bride!

You have the right attitude re: dresses from China, which seem like they can vary between brilliant and the back of the wardrobe. I hope you get what you are looking for.

And those around you have advised well. Second time around is no less important or special. We won't let you get away with fading into the background either!

I'm afraid I don't know anything about China but am in agreement with the difficultles of being and older bride. It's hard to feel both appropriate and special! And the wedding industry is (I suppose naturally) extremely biased towards the young.

I got married a couple of years ago at a pretty advanced age and my attitude was rather "s*d it". I went all out with a simple but defintely bridal dress and even a socking great veil. Just go for what makes you feel beautiful!

I'm 49 and getting married in 25 days. My dress is a proper wedding dress, in ivory with a train. I bought it 3 years ago at a Confetti and Lace. It was £395. I'm wearing a side tiara, hot pink shoes and having my daughters as bridesmaids. 50 day guests and probably 70 all together for the evening. Having a do at a lovely hotel in Kingston upon Thames. Can't wait!

My sister got her dress from an online company based in China. The dress was £96 including shipping and was of perfect quality. My mum, who used to be a seamstress, was bowled over by the quality of the material and the workmanship. The only downside was the problems with the shipping company and them holding on to it for a long tiem before contacting her to pay the customs charges.... All in all though, a good positive experience....

Congratulations Winnifred!

I'm in a similar position to you: older than most, broader than most, with more concerns about feeling beautiful without looking incongruous than most. We do, however, have the advantage that we are from a generation where evening dresses were worn more often, so at least we have an idea of what necklines etc suit us (although in my case I'm pretty sure I'll need to rethink the overall shape from the last time I wore a long dress!). I am also going to use a chinese manufacturer, for purely budgetary reasons, so will be watching this thread with interest. Please do let us know how you get on.

Ladies, thank you all - so much support. I chased up JJsHouse - that's who I'm using - again today, I ordered an extra metre of the fabric for varuous things, a few ad ays after the dress, 29 January. I would not have thought there could be much processing delay in sending a piece of fabric. Two weeks ago (19 Feb) they emailed to say they had dispatched it (a standard dispatch email that tells me to try on my dress before removing tags etc - got me all excited) , still no sign of it. The link to track the delviery doesn't work, and if you take the extension off the URL you get the Chinese international postal serivce, which would be great, if I read Mandarin or Cantonese. However they assure me I will have my dress by the 8th of March. Today is teh 5th, no notice fo dispatch yet. We shall see.

Not sure if you are even thinking along these lines yet, but just to let you know in the past week I've had two orders from brides who are marrying for the second time who don't want a big veil but are having fascinator's instead. One lady has gone for a white satin pill box hat and the other has gone for a feathered comb. Just thought I'd put it out there.

K

Congratulations there.

I'm also 'mature'. Will be 51 when I get married in August and I'm not exactly a skinny minnie either. I've gone for a tea-dress, but it's a wedding tea-dress for sure.

and I'm having a comb in my hair - looking forward to it arriving (was made by the lovely Katie Vale ). I'll admit I was, in the beginning, looking for a suite or a posh frock, but fell in love with my dress... first shop I went to, 2nd dress I tried on.

just because it's the 2nd time around doesn't make it any less special. `

Any news Winnifred? I know it's only been 5 weeks but they did say you'd have it by by tomorrow didn't they?

Yes, getting concerned, MOMB. Requested date was 8 March; ordered and paid for on 29 January, with expedited shipping - 38 days. They quote times as "Usually it takes 14-16 days to make wedding dresses and 7-11 days to make other dresses since the day you place an order. The shipping time also differs in shipping methods. The fastest shipping - expedited shipping takes 5-6 days for the shipment. The standard shipping takes 5-9 days. The super saver shipping takes 15-20 days for the shipment. The sooner you place an order, the sooner we start preparing your dress." Maybe they mean business days, in which case they have had 28.

Last inquiry on the 3rd got the response that "We have checked our system and your order is almost finished. We will ship your order in the next 1-2 days. Once your order is shipped, you will get a confirmation email including the tracking number. Surely it will catch your occasion on 2013-03-08." No dispatch email forthcoming, and inquiries on 5th and 6th have had no response. Also still no sign of the extra fabric I ordered on 2 February, which they dispatched - super saver - on 19 February. Nor any response to my inquires on it's whereabouts.

I have actually allowed myself 3 months, as the wedding is on the 4th of May, so if this fails abysmally I still have time to either find something else, or even make it myself (I can sew, just this seemed a better use of the money than my time). It's still early, and I may be wrong to worry, but all in all, this is probably not going to end happily. I truely hope I'm wrong, but meantime I'm clearing time to sew!

Its second time round for both oh and myself although im only 37 i thought second wedding should be a small affair but its escalated and iv also gone for a big ish dress not small one as planned im going to wear what i want and dont care what people think tbh this wedding is all out compared to my first one and most of its down to my mums doing she is on wedding sites more than me try all different kinds of dresses on and you will know the one when you find it and just enjoy your dayx

I'm coming around to that idea - it is the one day when you, and your partner, are the most important. We don't often get that much limelight. And your Mum is thoroughly enjoying it all too, I bet.

Update - addiitonal fabric arrived today, so that's a positive.

Yay! One down, one to go :0)

I just wanted to say congratulations on your upcoming wedding- its great to read a thread like this, and so nice to see some mature brides on here :0)

We're kind of stuck in the middle age wise- OH turns 39 this month and me at the end of June, one week after our wedding. It's his 2nd time, though he has blanked out most of his first haha. It was OH who wanted the full on white church wedding (his first was a civil and he played no part in planning then pretty much regretted it on his honeymoon lol. Not the civil part, the whole marriage!. It's my first time, despite having already 2children when I met him. So I'm loving all the detailed planning and OH is quite happy to choose things with me and go traipsing round shops etc.

It's lovely that you and other posters are taking the plunge again- go the whole hog and have a thoroughly wonderful time of it! You're NEVER to old to be an excited bride.

Enjoy!!

Xxx

Hi, I got married on 2nd Feb 2013 and was very unsure of being a mature bride in a wedding dress, I worried about it from the time I bought the dress until about a week before the wedding when I thought to h*** with it, Im wearing a dress of my dreams. Im so glad I did, I felt a million dollars..............

Good luck with your wedding and your bound to look stunning in what ever your wear x

Re mum-wants-a-hat

my oh also regretted his first marrage as much as i did its his idea to go ott on this wedding as at first i only wanted a small wedding ,he is 41 and he is doing most of the planning which is great as i can enjoy it more i only have to sort my self and the bridesmaids out anf the flowers hes doing or helping with the rest of the other things and i can admit hes doing a better job than i would of done he he ?cant wait for the big day now feel like a kid again .

Actually you are right - I do feel a bit like a kid again and it is a lot of fun. Man-of-my-dreams is just a bit older than me - so we're 56 and 58, and his 4 adult kids are all part of the package. He's a real spreadsheet jockey, so is doing all the tedious recording of replies, seating plans, registrations, meetings etc - I do enough of that at work so I've enjoyed making the invitations and picking colours and so on. It's working well, and like others, for him the first time around he wasn't all that involved and he's quite enjoying all this.

Right-hand-woman and I are off to a floristry wholesaler tomorrow to get the best we can in silk flowers. They vary between very realistic and seriously cheap looking; to a certain extent you get what you pay for. I've been collecting old teapots on eBay, and I'll put together the table centrepieces (I did a floristry course at night class) over the next few weeks. Then there are just buttonholes and corsages, and I'm planning a largish corsage pinned to a standard evening clutch bag for me.

Bag and shoes have to go off to be dyed blue to match dress (now that extra fabric has arrived so I can send sample). I have size 10 feet - you just can't get exactly what you want (manufacturers think we all want flat heels if they go up to our size at all). But I did find plain ivory dyeable satin high heels, and with a plain ivory stain clutch bag they are off to be dyed next week; there are several places that dye tehse for you, some only dye the things they supply though, particulary evening bags which apparently vary a lot in quality and hence how well the dye takes. I think I paid about £5 in the market for the bag, £45 for the shoes, and the dying will cost me a further £50. If the dress from China doesn't arrive in time, I'll be make a blue one anyway, and if the cheap bag doesn;t take dye well, at will be pretty well covered by flowers.

Next will come a big hat, a seriously big hat...

Sounds like (apart from the ongoing dress drama) you are enjoying the process Winnifred ? I'm the same: spending time on here and googling and making plans when originally it was going to be a quiet wedding for us the the children; now we've booked a barn venue and are not getting married until next August so we can save up!

Apart from the venue and registrar all I've done sofar is buy garden games: where we are going to keep them all for a year i do not know!

Have you had an email satying that they have despatched your dress yet?

LOL MOMB.. I had to slightly rearrange our bedroom before OH got in from work yesterday, to accommodate the 4 x 4ft trees plus all the decs I bought in the morning! Thankfully he loves it all, so doesn't mind the reduced walking space- besides, it's only for 3 months haha! :0)

Hi, congratulations!

I'm also an older bride (46 when I get married) and I'm having a proper wedding dress as I didn't have one first time around. I don't think my OH realises what I'm wearing as he seemed quite shocked with talks of corsets and petticoats so I'm going to enjoy the look on his face on the day.

I hope that your dress does turn up, it seems a little more positive now the material has turned up. Is the colour and quality as you expect?

Update - I may have been worrying needlessly. Still having heard nothing from the Chinese made to measure company, yesterday (9th) I got a phone text from DHL to say a parcel was on its way; checking their website its origin is PR China. This morning I have an email from the Chinese company, to say my order was dispatched on the 9th (a day after my "final receipt date needed") and that "We always have high demand on our products, so it takes us some time more on preparing your order. Hope it is ok for you to accept a little late arrival of your order. We appreciate your understanding and your time." So assuming everything else is OK, my advice would be to make sure you leave lots of time as it seems to take longer than they promise.

Meantime, the extra yard of fabric that did arrive is the perfect colour I wanted, and a good quality, though quite light for taffeta. That's enabled me to get shoes and handbag away to be dyed to match (I have size 10 feet - much harder to get pale blue shoes), and to spend a lovely day in a floristy supplies warehouse selecting a car load of silk flowers to match - I shall now spend a happy month or so's evenings putting my table centres together at my liesure.

Following reviews and advice, I will make sure that there is enough cash at home to pay any customs duty on the outfit, but from previous experience with something I bought in the US, its hard to get a receipt for this from the courier driver, but I think that is important.

My OH knows what colour it is, as he's been given a swatch to go off and get matching ties for him and his best man. And know's its long, but otherwsie doesn't seem that fussed, hopefully he will be pleased with what he sees.

Will keep you posted ladies.

4 x 4' trees Mum-wants-a-hat? that soudns interesing?

DHL tend to deliver and then you get an invoice for customs charges by post about a week later. China post does take a long time and most places were closed for 2 to 3 weeks in February as it was Chinese New Year. A lot of my orders placed at the beginning of feb weren't dispatched till last week. It will have been squashed into the tiniest parcel possible so don't panic when you get it out. Good luck

I'm glad it's on it's way, I'm really looking forward to seeing it.

Oooh exciting! Do please let us know when it arrives, how much the tax sets you back, and if you are happy with the quality and fit.

Hi, everyone, I'm a mature bride too. I will be 48 when we tie the knot in Jamaica. I ordered my dress on Friday & I love it. I am a size 10, so a size smaller than my first wedding 25 years ago. I have chosen a destination dress from mori lee.

I amsooo exited & am looking forward to our wedding & our reception back home & I even get to wear my dress twice

I think you should be exited no matter what your age as its such a special day. Heres a pic of my dress........

whit woo I can't wait to see your wedding pics! ?

Winnifred, did it come? Or are you tracking it across the world with DHL?

Well, the dress has arrived, on Tuesday, just 4 days after my last receipt by date given. And as 3Djewelery says, they packed it into the smallest possible box so it arrived very crushed and creased. DHL contacted me with a request for payment of customs, about 33% of value, which I was able to do on line Monday, and it as then delivered Tuesday.

Once ironed, it looks a lot better, and I have to say is beautifully made, although in ironing it, there do seem to be some gease spots in the fabric in places. However, it is going to need some alteration as my efforts to be healthier and look better mean I've lost some weight - off the bust not the hips unfortunately - so it can be drycleaned and professionally pressed after that. So apart from pricking my thumb while pinning in potential alterations and bleeding on it, it's looking good. I unpicked some of the lining to look at construction in relation to the alterations, and they have a very generous seam allowance so it could be let out up to an extra two inches if that were necessary - always a good option to have although if I remember rightly, 35 years ago my wedding gown had to be taken in twice before the big day.

I doubt if that will happen now as last night we went to a menu tasting at our chosen venue - dispay dishes of what each of the 7 or 8 choices would look like full size, and then miniatures of everything to sample. And the wines. By the time we got to desert we really couldn't decide between the lemon tart, sticky toffee pudding or champagne and white chocolate raspberry torte. The two vegetarian optiosn were a bit diappointing, and we couldn't try more than three of the canapes or any the finger buffet items. But a very pleasant evening with 9 other couples all preparing to do the same thing, great idea.

So now i have dress, this weekend Right Hand Woman and I are off to a big hat shop to find a matchign hat, tehn i can try out thgins with hairdressers. I'll wait until I have teh dress fitting correctly to post a picture, but watch this space.

My mum is 60 and she got married in Sept 2012. Her dress was from China and it was stunning. Jen Jen House. Made to measure perfectly

Winnifred, a happy ending and am already looking forward to seeing your dress. You did make me chuckle when you said that you had unpicked some of the lining to look at the construction ? Happy hat shopping!

Yay ! So glad it came and you are pleased with it. Looking forward to the picture when you've got it perfect!