A few questions for past brides and bride to be's...

I can only comment on the gifts and I'm afraid that's a bit like how long is a piece of string. Some people spend a lot and some less. It depends on your budget. Over the years the gifts have gone a bit mad. Traditionally years ago when I first married it was a bouquet of flowers for both mums and maybe something small for fathers so they were not left out. Necklace or bracelet for bridesmaids which they wore for the wedding. From the other side of it when my son got married I received a bouquet of flowers along with a vase they had engraved. I was more than happy with it and didn't need expensive gifts. In a lot of cases a hug and a heartfelt thank you with maybe a card with a personal message hand written in it conveys a lot.

as to when to give gifts I prefer giving them earlier and just a thank you mention in the speech rather than asking people to go up and get their gifts. Again it's personal preference. Either is fine depending on what YOU prefer to do.

1. What kind of 'gifts' would be nice for fiance, mother of the bride, bridesmaids and parents of the groom? I can see it all adding up to sooooo much money. Also, when do you give these gifts? Personally, I don't like the idea of giving them out during the speeches..

If you're worried about cost, how about going down the "inexpensive, but thoughtful" route? I'm going to make up some little pamper bags for my BMs - mini bottle of wine, mini box of chocs, a bath bomb, and a wine charm or something else they can keep. Places like B&M, Home Bargains etc are great for cheap little stuff like that. Ebay is great for cheap cufflinks, jewellery etc as well. If you're thinking of flowers for parents, how about a pot plant that they can keep? Lasts longer, and often cheaper than a bouquet.

I won't be doing gifts during speeches, either. My FMIL is very shy and wouldn't appreciate being made the centre of attention. You could give the BMs and your parents their gifts when you're getting ready in the morning, and your fiance could do the same with his parents and groomsmen.

2. How much is an average price for make up artists? I'm getting married down in Kent and was hoping to have myself + a trial, 3 bridesmaids no trial and my mum. This is all looking to be over £200 for all of us. Does this sound right?

Prices will vary depending on the artist, how far they have to travel, what you want doing etc.

3. With the seating plan, how are you proposing to actually work out who is going where? How are you recording it and do you have any 'rules'/tips that might make the etiquette correct i.e no "singles" table etc etc.

We're not having a traditional top table, so the first thing we need to do is sort out family. Due to language barriers etc, we're probably going to sit our families on separate tables. It might look divisive, but they'll be more comfortable that way. In terms of friends, we're going to think about who gets on with who. I'm not a big fan of putting people who don't know each other together to force them to talk.

4. How much is the average for suit hire for men/how much did your groom pay for himself, best man, ushers and father of the bride?

Again, depends on where you go. We're only getting a new suit for the groom. I'm leaving menswear up to OH, but he'll probably go to Slaters. He already has a couple of gorgeous suits from there, and he was very impressed with the price (two perfectly tailored suits for £150). We've still got a way to go, so OH may end up deciding he wants the best man and ushers in matching suits as well. It's worth looking for deals. A lot of places will do "hire X suits and the groom's is free" deals.

5. Also, how much have people budgeted for wedding rings?

For us, the rings were one of the most important things. We're going to be wearing them everyday for the rest of our lives. I fell in love with a beautiful vine design ring with diamonds, which should have been over £2,000, but I got a deal from the jeweller and got it for £1,200. OH, on the other hand, just wants something hardwearing and preferably with a bit of a geeky twist, so he's looking at tungsten rings from Etsy for about £50.

1. We're not 100% sure on gifts yet but I was thinking along the same lines as you with speeches. I'm giving them out in person too

2. I'm finding make up artists quoti around the same but I'm using a friend who has just started up who is great at make up and based in kent so here is her link if you want a quote https://www.facebook.com/Charlottefenwickmua/timeline?ref=page_internal

3. We're not having a seating plan

4. I find most suit hires do deals for four groomsmen and the groom goes free. We were quoted £300 per suit to take them abroad!! So we're buying but debenhams do reasonable priced and have a large variety

ri vs- we budgeted £2000 but we're getting them bespoke as if was something we really wanted but you can get rings for a lot lot less!

Hi, here's what we did:

1. Gifts -all from not on the high street - very reasonable and quite quirky -pearl bracelets/personalized compact mirrors for older bridesmaids and mothers. Rag doll for flower girl. Engraved whiskey glass for best man. Engraved key ring for dad and personalized cuff-links for dad in law. Personalized chocolate bars for other important people.

My daughter gave the gifts out just as the speech was finishing but it was done quite discreetly as people were starting to eat so no-one was singled out as such!

2. Paid £385 for hair and make -up trial just for me and then hair and make up on the day for myself, mum, 2 teen bridesmaids.

3.We sat people with other people that they knew - all worked out well. We made sure that kids had at least another kid on their table.

4. Didn't have a budget for rings but we both wanted plain bands so we probably only spent about £600 on the pair. Groom,best man and my son all had matching suits from Debenhams which were about £180 each so don't know how that compares to hiring.

Good luck ?

Well I only have answers to a few of your questions since I'm still in the early stages of planning my wedding.

1. I think you know your loved ones best and will have an idea of what they'll appreciate. I will probably do a box of small things for my bridesmaids. My sister has mentioned she would love a satin robe, so that might be an option. I've also seen some really cute personalised wine glasses and bottles of wine that can be given as gifts. I would probably prefer to give them out in person before the ceremony rather than during the speeches.

3. Growing up, my favorite puzzles were the ones that went "Sally sits to the right of Joe, but is three seats away from Bob", so I'm hoping I'll actually enjoy doing the seating plan. My parents are still married but my OH's parents are divorced and remarried, and there is some drama there, so I'm trying to convince him to do a sweetheart table rather than a head table. Then we can sit on our own and each set of parents can have their own table to host. I will probably start with seating the less social people first so they can be with people they know (like older relatives). I know that if we have odd numbers some of my cousin's or OH's friends will be perfectly fine to sit at a table with a mixed group. I don't remember there being very much talking during the meal and speeches at any of the weddings I've been to anyway.

I can answer the first 3 questions but haven't got as far as hiring suits yet! ?

1. We're looking at giving everyone their gifts in the morning as we don't want to during the speeches either. So far we have got bracelets for the bridesmaids, flasks for the best man & ushers, we'll be getting something along those lines for the parents as well. As for the H2B I haven't got a clue yet, the gift list seems endless to me as well, but I've found looking on Ebay & Amazon at gifts have saved us some money!

2. I don't know how prices differ from Kent to Leicester but for my hair & makeup with a trial & my 3 bridesmaids the total is £475.00

3. We haven't 100% sorted the seating plan out but we have a rough idea, we've base it on, as long as someone is one the same table as someone else they know or know off.

Hope that helps! ?

We didn't have a seating plan, BMs or ushers and I didn't use an MUA, so I can't help a lot! But the things I can answer: 1. We just bought nice chocolates for our mums, nothing else. We had nothing left in the budget for more! and 4. We spent £475 on my ring (white gold) and only £65 on my H's (titanium). I had originally thought mine would be a bit less, but I went for one with diamonds in the end. A plain band would have been less.

1. I am not sure yet on gifts - i know I'd like to present mums gifts during the speeches and bridesmaids on the morning of the wedding. I've seen some nice personalised bridesmaids goodie bags on eBay which I might just fill with a piece of jewellery and bits and bobs that they'd like. For mums it'll have to be something special - budgeting £85-100 each.

2. I found that combining hair and makeup was a lot more reasonable. For me (hair and makeup trial + day), 4 bridesmaids (hair only) and my mum (makeup only) it's coming to £385 which I thought was really reasonable.

3. Like somebody else, we have a language barrier to contend with but my H2B is actually excited for deciding on this - he says it will be like algebra....I know traditionally couples are separated and it's girl/boy/girl/boy. I'm definitely not going with this as I want people to be as comfortable as possible. I'm putting my school friends and uni friends on the same table. H2B has two best men and both are in long term relationships so we're having them sit with their partners so they're more comfortable. Top table will just be us, parents and my brother. Similarly bridesmaids will be sitting with their friends.

4. We don't have a big ring budget - I found one I like (white gold plain band with engraving of wedding dates) for £250. H2B will be resizing his late dad's ring. In terms of suits: we haven't researched this yet but we have to buy for groom, my brother, his two best men and my dad. Hoping it will all come to under £500. My brother is a child so his won't be full price I imagine....

1. What kind of 'gifts' would be nice for fiance, mother of the bride, bridesmaids and parents of the groom? I can see it all adding up to sooooo much money. Also, when do you give these gifts? Personally, I don't like the idea of giving them out during the speeches..

I think gifts are totally up to you. Gifts for the bridal party are common in the States as generally the bridal party pays their own way (dress, makeup, hair, suit hire etc). As we paid for our bridal party to participate, we didn't get them gifts on top. I did give my BMs thank you cards which I gave to them as we got ready in the morning. I also got my parents gifts b/c they paid for the wedding, so it seemed only right. I bought my mum a personalised clutch from Etsy to use on the day that matched her outfit, and I got my dad an engraved cufflink box. Both presents were under £40. I left parents of the groom gifts up to my H, and he did stuff all, so I gave his mother my bridal bouquet on the day. No-one in our bridal party or our parents expected gifts, they were surprised to receive even a card, so I don't think it's something that's expected.

ETA: I gave my mum her gift a few months in advance as I didn't want her to go out and spend money on a bag for her outfit. My dad's I gave to him during the morning before, and the bouquet I just gave to MOG at the wedding reception, didn't announce it in speeches or anything.

2. How much is an average price for make up artists? I'm getting married down in Kent and was hoping to have myself + a trial, 3 bridesmaids no trial and my mum. This is all looking to be over £200 for all of us. Does this sound right?

I booked a MUA I met at a bridal show, she was just starting out her business and it was £60 for me, £25 for each BM, so it cost £110 total. So £200 for all 5 of you seems very reasonable if she's an established MUA.

3. With the seating plan, how are you proposing to actually work out who is going where? How are you recording it and do you have any 'rules'/tips that might make the etiquette correct i.e no "singles" table etc etc.

I used the Hitched table planning tool, which worked really well as it created a pdf I could then send to the venue, and I was able to record veggies/children on the planner as well. We didn't really stick to etiquette rules - top table was us, our parents, H's sister (also BM), and the Best Man and his wife. I had more family coming than H, so we then had a table of my aunts/uncles/cousins, a table of mixed H's family, ushers, other BM, and my brother and 1 uncle, a table of our parents' friends, and then the rest of the tables were made up of our friends. We tried to keep friend groups together, and we didn't have a singles table. We were lucky that a lot of people had met on stag/hen do's so we were able to "slot" people outside of established groups into tables where they knew 1 or 2 people already. We put all the family and our parents' friends nearest to the top table to keep my parents happy

4. How much is the average for suit hire for men/how much did your groom pay for himself, best man, ushers and father of the bride? Also, how much have people budgeted for wedding rings?

We paid around £450 for the hire of full morning suits (but no top hats) from Moss Bros. That was for groom, 2 ushers, best man, FOG and FOB. They had a deal that groom went free. My wedding ring was about £350 ($500), but we were very lucky in that we received engagement gifts that covered the cost of my ring. H's ring was £589 for 14K yellow gold.

Some very helpful replies ladies - thank you!

XX

Hello!

1. fiancé - I got mine a personalised whisky glass saying "To my Husband x, for the good times, Your Wife y" and a red wine decanter with "Our Wedding Day 07.08.15". He got me a gift back of "The Things That Make Us" with a few items such as a rock, paper scissors necklace (what we always resort to when we do not agree on something), our favourite chocolates, the first bottle of wine we shared together, a canvass of photos of us etc....

2. Depends. I paid £75 to a proper Hair & MU company for a trial of just me for hair & makeup with a £400 package for me + 4 adults hair & MU. Was AWEFUL!!! My bridesmaid said her friend does it on the side of her day job to build up her portfolio. I pad her £220 for my hair & mu, 2x trials for me, 1 trial for BMs, plus my Mums hair & mu! Oh and including hair extensions. Shop around. but that DOES sound about right to me. HAVE ATRIAL WHATEVER YOU DO and don't feel obliged to book if not happy.

3. NO NO NO to Singles tables, or kids table for that matter. I' say rule of thumb make sure couples/families seated together, and that every couple / single knows someone where possible. DONT let dramas or petty "I don't want to sit near xyz" or "she'll be offended she's not near the top table" get in the way. You'll probably play around with it a few times before deciding.

4. We paid £85 per suit for Groom, BM, 2x Usher and FOB.

Rings - We budgeted £600 the pair and haggled down from £775 to that price. We aren't jewellery type people but as its going to last forever... saying that I still don't understand people who pay thousands :/

PS We paid for the bridal party expenses except for shoes. BMs got hair & makeup + dress and necklace. Men got their suits hired and cufflinks etc. We also got gifts as they deserved it for all their help!

BMs got a mix of personalised wine glass, mirror, frame, bath bomb, wine charm etc.

Usher brother got personalised lighter and a brother frame, Usher friend got a whisky set and a hipflasl.

FOG got a crystal whisky glass set and my dad got a single glass. MOB/FOB both got lush bath bombs, a crystal wine glass, a mirror and a charm.

The flowergirls got wooden plaques and a bracelet.

The uncle who videoed it had a glass.

our witnesses also got a little glass

1. What kind of 'gifts' would be nice for fiance, mother of the bride, bridesmaids and parents of the groom? I can see it all adding up to sooooo much money. Also, when do you give these gifts? Personally, I don't like the idea of giving them out during the speeches..

We haven't bought gifts yet and are struggling with this to be honest!! I don't really want to get personalised gifts as knowing my bridal party they won't be used. We are getting married at a vineyard so we may get a bottle of wine or bubbly for each along with a thank you card and maybe something else little. I'm not sure exactly what etiquette is but both sets of parents have contributed money to the wedding so we want to thank them, and my bridesmaids have done a fab job of being supportive and organised me a lovely hen do. The usher and best man have done *** all to be honest so I'm not sure whether to get them anything!!

*EDIT* actually thinking about it, while the usher/best man haven't exactly been involved in planning we will be relying on them heavily for helping wrangle and direct guests throughout the day and I'm sure they will come into their own then

2. How much is an average price for make up artists? I'm getting married down in Kent and was hoping to have myself + a trial, 3 bridesmaids no trial and my mum. This is all looking to be over £200 for all of us. Does this sound right?

The hair and makeup for me and two BMs on the day (including buying the lippy for touch ups) is £230, I also paid about £70 for a trial

3. With the seating plan, how are you proposing to actually work out who is going where? How are you recording it and do you have any 'rules'/tips that might make the etiquette correct i.e no "singles" table etc etc.

We are having a fairly small wedding (50 people) so it wasn't too hard! I used a spreadsheet with different table numbers across the top and then just starting writing in the names under each table and moved them around as necessary. I've also colour coded it according to each of our friends, family and colleagues. It's working out fairly evenly so far. We aren't having a top table so are having us, parents, best man, usher and his wife on one table. My BMs will 'host' another table made up of them, some mutual friends and one BMs partner (so BM and partner could sit together, there wasn't room on one table). Then we have a table of work colleagues, a table of friends and two of family - slightly mixed as mine is larger than his.

4. How much is the average for suit hire for men/how much did your groom pay for himself, best man, ushers and father of the bride? Also, how much have people budgeted for wedding rings?

Grooms parents kindly offered to pay for the suit hire for him, his best man and brother who is the usher. His dad and my dad hired or bought their own suits. We had initially budgeted around £1000 for wedding rings but ended up spending about £600 for what we wanted.

1. What kind of 'gifts' would be nice for fiance, mother of the bride, bridesmaids and parents of the groom? I can see it all adding up to sooooo much money. Also, when do you give these gifts? Personally, I don't like the idea of giving them out during the speeches..

The only gifts I gave were to OH in the form of a 'Don't Panic' box with all sorts of bits and pieces in it. I also made gift bags for the three nieces with earrings, colouring book & pens, a fair trade fairy and I gave them each one of the spare hairpieces I didn't use.

2. How much is an average price for make up artists? I'm getting married down in Kent and was hoping to have myself + a trial, 3 bridesmaids no trial and my mum. This is all looking to be over £200 for all of us. Does this sound right?

I paid £250 including trial, near to Rye. That said my she travelled from Kent. My original was much cheaper but she had to cancel me due to lack of childcare. I was really happy with the one I got, which is doubly good as I only found her two weeks before the wedding!

£200 for all of you sounds pretty good to me.

3. With the seating plan, how are you proposing to actually work out who is going where? How are you recording it and do you have any 'rules'/tips that might make the etiquette correct i.e no "singles" table etc etc.

We didn't have a seating plan. Not sure how this would work if you were a large group (we were 19 in total) or if you offer choice of menu - that said, we had three choices, but again, a small group.

4. How much is the average for suit hire for men/how much did your groom pay for himself, best man, ushers and father of the bride? Also, how much have people budgeted for wedding rings?

I can't comment on suits as OH bought a nice grey lounge suit he'll wear again. The others don't apply to us.

Our rings weren't that expensive. I ended up with a tungsten ring for OH which I chose - it was less than £30. I chose a wishbone ring (to accommodate a square engagement ring) with nine small simulated diamonds in 9ct whit gold - again not hugely expensive.

Hi,

With your questions about rings are you actually in Kent or just having the wedding there? If you live in Kent try 'Bliss Rings' they come to your house with 300 rings for you to choose from and 300 for your H2B. so plenty to choose from. also they give you 3 earring and necklace sets and one set of cufflinks for free if you buy your ring with them. so that sorts out gifts!! We have ordered extra cufflinks at £15.95 each. So we are planning on doing gifts in the morning or maybe even if we go out for dinner the night before together, then just a thank you in speeches.

hope that helps! xx