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Beginner July 2025 Ceredigion

a few questions in 1 post

Amy, 29 of January of 2024 at 16:05 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 1


I got engaged in December and we have booked our wedding for July 2025. I have absolutely no idea about these things as I've only ever been to two weddings when I was a child.

I have a daughter who will be just over 3 at the time of the wedding and a baby who will have just turned 1 (I'm due in July this year). I don't have any close female friends to be bridesmaids so was going to have my daughter be bridesmaid. Not sure the gender of baby # 2 yet but if its a girl then she will be bridesmaid too. If its a boy - what role could he play? My nephew who will be 8, also wants to be involved, not sure what role?!

I have two cousins who I used to be very close with but now not so much (since I had a baby). I felt quite hurt when I announced our engagement and pregnancy on Facebook and they didn't even congratulate me (I know they saw the posts because they are always on facebook). Am I being too sensitive? and should I still invite them?

Then I come to the top table situation! We are only having a small ceremony of a maximum of 30 day guests. One of my brothers is autistic and doesn't leave the house (the one with a son) so he won't be attending. My mum has now said that my nephew would have to sit on the top table with us as he's only 8 and his dad wont be there so rather than sit with other family members (his uncle and our cousins). In fairness, he doesn't know these people very well so I can understand why she says that but it means we would have me, my husband, our two kids, my mum and dad, the best man and then possibly my partners mum and stepdad (if they can come from Canada, there are issues around this so we don't know if they can come yet and won't for some time). If they aren't able to make it from Canada then his sister would be at the top table instead. Does this sound ok? means there would only be 3 tables of maybe 6 people left!

My last question is - what are you all doing for wedding favours?

Thanks, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

1 replies

Latest activity by RomanticGreenStationery27135, 31 of January of 2024 at 17:56
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    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ยท
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    Congratulations on your forthcoming wedding and baby!

    Regarding your children, if your baby is a boy, I would just make him a 'page boy'. At 3 and 1, they are both too young to be playing any kind of meaningful 'role' anyway, so I would just pick a special outfit each for them and leave it at that.

    As for your cousins, the general rule is to invite in 'groups' (e.g. 'all uncles and aunts', 'all cousins' etc). However, I feel you can get away with only inviting part of a group if there is a really clear distinction in how close you are (for example, I invited 3 uncles and aunts who I see multiple times a year, but not any of the ones that I see every 4-5 years). If these two are your only cousins, then just have a 'no cousins' rule and you're sorted. If you have other cousins that you'd like to invite, then it's harder, unless you see those other cousins much more frequently than you do this pair.

    You can have all kinds of seating at weddings these days - one option might be to go for a family table with just you, your OH and your children on it, and the rest of the bridal party on another table. Or have three tables of 10 people each and get each set of parents to 'host' a table with you hosting the third one. Or just go for the big table and three little ones. Whatever fits the family dynamic best.

    Favours - personally, I wouldn't bother. It's an extra expense that you don't need, especially if there's nothing that you automatically think you want to have. But if you do decide to have them, I'd go for edibles. You can get cookies or chocolates that have your names and the wedding day on them, which are quite cool. I've also seen ones with the individual guest names on them, so they can double up as place cards.

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