a table plan, is it necessary?

I've been to a couple of weddings like that and it was chaos. People who know each other rushing to sit together, so then there isn't room for couples or parents & young children to sit together. They can also be uncomfortable for single guests, especially if they don't know many people. I remember going to a wedding with no seating plan, and ended up having to take the one seat that was left on a table filled with people who knew each other well. They spent the whole reception talking to each other and completely ignoring me! I know that seating plans can be a nuisance, but you have a greater chance of making sure everyone has an enjoyable day that way.

Agree with Romantic Green
We did a seating plan and it all worked out ok in the end despite stressing me out a bit at the time. I would recommend a plan personally

I imagine it will be chaos without any seating plan but you may be able to get away with just assigning people to a certain table rather than specific seats.

Unless it's the same meal for everyone, the venue might want you to have a seating plan so they know what they're serving to whom (e.g. vegetarians, other allergies etc). Our venue certainly requires us to have one - could be worth checking with yours to see if they do too.

I agree with the above. With a 3 course dinner, the venue will probably need to know where people are sitting, so they can identify vegetarians, allergies etc.

Also without a table plan, it can be chaos and people could be left sitting on a table full of strangers, because they didn't get to a table with friends on quick enough.

I know table plans can be stressful, but its better to iron that out now than have chaos on your wedding day. I would suggest starting early, provisionally place people on tables and then alter as RSVPs come in. I have found the table plan on Hitched very handy. You can't please everyone, but you can get everyone next to at least 1 person they can socialise with through dinner. Also remember this plan is just for dinner....its 2 hours max not all day. Guests can cope being told where to sit for 2 hours.

In terms of your fiancé wanting people to mix, that is what the reception drinks are for. If you are having drinks and canapes, this is usually outside and is a relaxed section of the day where everyone can mix and mingle before the wedding breakfast. Also after dinner, people will get up, dance, mix and mingle again.

For a 3 course sit down meal your venue will need a seating chart/plan of who sits where for allergies, dietary requirements, meal choices etc. They will then have a numbered chart and that will be how they co-ordinate the service in the kitchen. Also the venue will be setting out the correct number of seats to match the dinner service for your guests - if you tell people to just sit where they like you would likely end up with an awkward situation where a table fills up and one or two people feel excluded from a table/don't want to sit on an emptier table where they don't know anyone. We have a few guests with additional needs and a seating plan helps (we have people who are partially sighted and wheelchair users so where they were in the room in terms of space/exits was important). You may want to think about where to place people with special needs - for example if they were right next to the kitchen doors, exit to the toilet so had lots of people coming back and forth behind them during the meal might that upset them? This was a factor for me when planning. The sit down dinner isn't where people tend to mingle, it's just a seat for the meal, so as long as everyone knows someone on the table it will be fine. In terms of pleasing everyone - no one gets to see our seating plan, they will turn up and see the chart/find their chair on the day - so you don't need to share any details. If people don't know, they have no opportunity to express an opinion in advance. Good luck! x

I think everyone will look for a plan and not having one may cause chaos. Put people where you want them, you know everyone better than anyone else. It's your day. Don't share the plan just put it up on the day.

I also did a brief plan the other day and it absolutely stressed me out. Safe to say I’ve parked that until next year haha.

I'm working on ours for a few mins every day to not overwhelm myself! I thought the guest list was stressful till I got to this!


As for mixing people up - no way! Why would you want your guests to feel stressed and resentful at not being able to sit with people they know!

I have recently been to a friends wedding and although there was a table plan for what table people sat at, there was no set seat for everyone and everyone just chose where they wanted to sit which was actually nice 😊 I do think it’s a good way of people mixing.

Definitely chaos not to have one!

If you want to encourage mingling, which I did, this is my plan:

We have tables of 8 so 4 couples per table (we've partnered off singles into "couples" so they have a close friend rather than feeling like a third wheel)

Each couple has on their table another couple they know and like (or at least one of them in the couple knows at least one of the other couple) so there's an easy and comfortable conversation there. So now you have 2 pairs of couples on each table.

Instead of putting those pairs with another pair they already know, we've put them with another pair of couples that we feel will get along to encourage mingling. In each case, we've made sure there's at least one fairly obvious connection that will likely come up e.g. I have a friend who's boyfriend is Spanish, FH has a friend who used to live in Spain they've never met but will be the connection and we will make sure those two are seated next to each other, they will hopefully get chatting about Spain, that will hopefully spiral and mean that the two pairs on that table start talking collectively because someone's broken that initial barrier.

The ideal world is that then people on one table will introduce new people they've met to friends who were seated on another table, and that people who are coming that don't know many others have an easy opportunity to get to know people as everyone will have someone on their table that's new to them too. I think this is nicer than having one awkward table with the people that don't fit so neatly into a group contrasting obviously with one table filled with a big group who are all great friends.

Hope that makes sense!