About to phone the vicar - HELP!!

What religion is the church your wanting to marry in?

If it's CofE then he might agree as long as you agree to attend weekly service for 6 or 12months to gain memmbership to the church.

I'm not sure about the rules on divorce, and as I say, it would be different for different religions and even different branches of christianity.

I'd start by telling how much getting married in church means to you, then why it's that particular church.

ETA: But good luck!

Sorry I should have said its C of E

Cxxx

Firstly, don't panic

You'll probably find that he will want to meet you both and talk about it rather than giving an answer over the phone, this may be at the church office one evening.

I think regarding divorce it might well be the circumstances, ie did he run off with someone half his age that caused the divorce, or did she cheat etc, that make the difference, although I must admit it is rare that you hear that divorced people can't marry in church these days. Even if the Vicar says no I believe there is some sort of appeal route where you can look into it.

Best thing is keep calm, and make sure you get a chance to show them the reasons why you should get married there, rather than letting the 'chance of not' get to you

Just take a deep breath and explain the situation; that you would love to get married at his church due to x y and z, however you are unsure as to whether this will be possible due to a, b and c

You'll probably find that he will take the lead of the conversaion anyway as he will have dealt with queries like this many times.

good luck and welcome to hitched x

WSS

There's no guarantee he'll say yes, they have the rules they have to follow, so all you can do is explain clearly your situations and why you want to marry there and see what he has to say.

If it's CofE I think they are more open to marrying people who are not local. We are getting married far away from our local parish but we do have a connection with the church as my fiancees parents still live in the parish and weremarried in the same church, which was sufficient to prove a connection.

Hope he is helpful.

In that case, have a little read here:

https://www.yourchurchwedding.org/faqs/i39m-divorced-can-i-still-get-married-in-church.aspx

and

https://www.yourchurchwedding.org/default.aspx

As AJ says - he/she will probably invite you to meet in person before setting anything in stone.

We are getting married in church and none of us have been chrisianed so though it might be an issue. Also the church we are marrying is only 5 minutes away but is classed as a different area so thats where our problem was. They have agreed we can marry there but have got to attend church for the next nine months. Im not clued up on how they are if you have already been married, but when went to fill the forms in it was the first question they asked us. My friend also wanted to get married in the same church but her husband had been married before. They did say they would do it but they had to really commit to going to church for a long time. But if its really important to get married in that church it will all be worth it xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We are getting married in a church outside our parish (although its where my parents married) I think its better to speak to them face to face. We went along to Sunday mass and had a quick talk to him after the service. Then set up a proper meeting to discuss further

How did you get on??

We've had a mini nightmare with our church as the priest (RC) said no however that we could effectively 'rent' the church and bring a priest.. which we are doing!! So if they say no do not give up hope there's always other options!!

I called and wondered if i met him face to face he may have said yes but who knows.. if you haven't called maybe a good idea to go to Sunday service.

Tried to call twice but got the answer machine both times, didn't seem right to leave a message and now it feels to late in the day.

Might try again tomorrow or get OH to try.

Cxxx

Is there a church office number as well? Might be worth trying that during the day too.

I would have a look online and go along to Sunday mass. That way you can get a feel if you like the priest etc as well. It also makes it more personal when you speak to them after.

A colleague called and the priest told her to come along to the mass and then they would discuss after.

CoE has been stung with a lot of sham marriages so our priest was saying he prefers to meet people face to face first.

Hi we are getting married in a CofE church, we were both christened when we were babies but neither one of us has attended church since. The church we are getting married in is not in our parish either.

From my understanding of when we spoke to our vicar, if you have no connection to the church or it is not in your parish you can still get married in it if you agree to attend regular services. Our vicar said to us that we have to attend at least twice a month, which is what we do and we actually really enjoy it and will definitely keep going after we are married.

I got a lot of information from the church of england website https://www.yourchurchwedding.org/youre-welcome/more-churches-to-choose-from.aspx

This is what is on the website about who can marry in a Cofe church.

You can marry in a CofE church if you can show:-

That one of you:

• has at any time lived in the parish for a period of at least 6 months or
• was baptised in the parish concerned or
• was prepared for confirmation in the parish or
• has at any time regularly gone to normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least 6 months or

That one of your parents, at any time after you were born:

• has lived in the parish for a period of at least 6 months or
• has regularly gone to normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least 6 months or

That one of your parents or grandparents:

• was married in the parish

And did you know that if you move house, you’re immediately connected to the church there? That means you can marry in the church of your new parish.

Don't worry too much... You will have to explain your reasons and circumstances (probably in great detail) but it is possible...