Absent Friends and Family

I asked my Dad to put it into his speech and he did it really well. We had people who travelled from all over the place to come to the wedding - Wedding in N.Yorks - we had guests from Wales, Cornwall, London, Nottingham, Ireland, Australia and we'd travelled from NZ to get married, so he talked about that, and about how some people were absent because of the distance to travel, and that for some there were 'greater distances' he mentioned grandparents as neither of us have any living grandparents, then he did a toast 'to friends and family who are with us in spirit' meaning anyone who wasn't there whatever the reason. So it wasn't gloomy at all.

A small table in some area with their photos and some sort of sign saying they are missed?

Im sure I've seen something like that on Pinterest.

Jayne x

My sisters husband did it at their wedding during the grooms speech. We all raised our glasses and did a toast. It felt significant, and I'm glad they did it. I don't think it put a downer on the day.

That's going a bit far for my taste, as they're a constant visual presence, which has the potential to upset people who were close to them.

I'm attaching small pictures of my grandparents to my bouquet, so they're with me when I get married. Then I think if either myself or my Dad mention absent family then that will be enough, I just wanted to check it wasn't "morbid" and it was an actual thing! Thank you all.

My OH and I are going to light a lantern together in the reception room before all the guests come through for the wedding breakfast and it will sit up on one of the window ledges, we'll have a little sign saying something along the lines of "in honour of those watching from heaven". We'll also raise a glass to our absent guests in the speeches. I like the idea of the lantern burning all night whilst we celebrate. I didn't want photos as I think it may upset some of my guests. Here's my inspiration pics

You don't have to talk about absent friends/family for a long time but a short toast in their memory is a lovely idea. They all form part of who you both are today.

The absent friends/family toast is forming part of my OH's speech but I don't think it will put a dampener on the proceedings.

I think it is something a lot of weddings have now and family/people who knew and loved them will think it is a lovely gesture to remember them on the day.

Both our granddads passed away from Strokes so instead of doing wedding favours, we have decided to put a little note on every table to say that we have made a donation to the stroke association in their memory. Our mums and my nan really liked that idea.

This is a lovely idea. I did get frames to put photos of family up as we lost my Aunt in April but wasn't sure where to put them. May steal this idea instead

I don't think it's morbid as long as you don't dwell on it and make everyone cry! I've been to several weddings where the groom or father has made a brief mention of people who couldn't be there and we toasted to them. I thought it was nice.

We've talked about this right through the planning as I want my dad to be acknowledged somewhere. Have asked the celebrant to do that during the service though and we're planning to have a toast to absent friends during the speeches - think my husband (very odd writing that!) will do it but I'm still considering doing it myself, if I can be brave....

My bridesmaid lost her husband earlier this year, and as a close friend of both of us he was also going to be one of our ushers. their daughters are also our flower girls. We definitely need to remember him, I want to be able to stand up and do it for him, and for his wife/my bridesmaid and the girls, but if I get upset it'll set us all off and we'll have a room full of weeping guests!

How about you include the more emotional part in the ceremony rather than the speeches? People expect to cry during the ceremony! ?