Agree to disagree!

I'm really enjoying you questions Mr_P

Ours is a bit of a random one...We are getting married this December and even before the proposal we said that if we had a Christmas wedding we would have crackers as wedding favours. However now its actually happening we can not agree on what ones! He wants big ones with plastic toys in them, I wanted small little ones that we make ourselves. The amount of time wasted discussing this is ridiculous....serious in depth discussions on the pros and cons of each. Eventually we realised that we were really quite sad and have settled for mince pies instead lol...it was so stupid!

Music! I want the DJ to play a block of 3 J-Rock songs during the party. OH doesn't want to as only about 10 of our guests are fans of J-Rock and everyone else will want to dance to cheese music. We still haven't come to an agreement.

Well your sort of right MrP. My hubby would have gone for a large black tie event inviting everyone he knew. A civil ceremony and if he could have incorporated Jewish traditions/had a rabbi there or arranged a rabbi blessing afterwards he would.

Not for me. I KNEW there would be stress, hassle, logistics for my scattered family left for me to sort out and it would all end up either OFF or in tears (for me!). Plus I was sick.

So I completely unashamedly played the 'cancer card' and said we elope in Lapland in the ice chapel or we don't bother at all. As you see I'm good at compromise lol.

He loved every minute of it and as we only took two friends with us and didn't even tell family until just before we went it was peaceful (mainly) and stressless for me. Win win. We had a wonderful wedding just not the one he THOUGHT he wanted.

We had major clashes with designing our wedding invite. He wanted it purely to be Alice in Wonderland (our theme), whereas I wanted it to be romantic watercolours.

In the end I think we came to a good compromise - my other half put it together and I dont think he did a bad job! I've removed text where the gaps are...

We've had some music disagreements too. Having been to a couple of family parties where the dj was awful we knew we agreed on what we didn't want. Deciding what we did want was a bit of a different matter! Apparently just because I like to dance to certain songs doesn't mean they're wedding appropriate/easily danceable for other people (I'm very much a re-enact the lyrics dancer, rather than just a bop-along-er... enthusiastic but not necessarily pretty!). Which is fair enough, and I get what he means - I don't really just want it to be me and a couple of friends dancing alone all night! So I backed down and get him quite a lot of free reign over what the songs are, just with a few suggestions.

Importantly though, the first dance was a mutual decision after months of cluelessness, and the final song was one of my picks that had earlier been rejected from the main playlist. So happiness was restored!

Guestlist-wise we've been pretty much agreed on everything, and we've also been agreed on whether either set of parents are interfering too much/too little (sometimes it can feel like not enough questions are being asked! Show some interest!!). But one thing that has caused some issues is people finding out about things that the one of us wanted to keep secret until the day - for example, he might mention something to his mum who then goes and tells lots of other family members, or I'll tell my mum something and she'll try and help in some way when he wanted it just to be sorted by the two of us. Both examples I can think of happened because I/he didn't realise the other one wanted to keep that bit between ourselves, mums weren't really at fault, just us assuming we can read each others minds!

Then only thing that we have disagreed on was the church readings and hymns. The only reason being that my OH is not the most religious of people (he agreed on a church due to my reasons for wanting one) so it was hard to find something that he didn't feel was too religious. We did decide on something though in the end

I have ALWAYS planned an outdoor reception but he wants an indoor one... I get the 'practical' side of it (if it rains) but ive been planning this for 20 years and hes been planning for 10 seconds so screw his practicalities lol

he is insisting we wont find any bands that will play outdoors... hello ever heard of festivals? ? there 100's and even the local pubs hold annual outdoor festival (we have been to some) infact HE has played outside in band stands a few times without giving it a second though and the buskers round here constantly play out rain, wind or shine (and we get more rain than anything else lol) so I really doubt its as big an issue as hes making it out to be lol

Ha, great thread! So for us...

I wanted to get married in a church, he didn't (he won)

I wanted a free bar, he didn't (I won)

We also didn't speak for about 24 hours because he assumed I was going to take his surname. I always intended to anyway but I was annoyed with his assumption!

He didn't want a videographer.......we have now booked our videographer

LOVE this. Perfectly reasonable

Our issue so far has been that he wants to wear a tartan suit. I have tried very hard to put my foot down because all I can imagine is that it will look like pyjamas. Tartan trousers sound like a joke to me!!

But I have now seen some nice tartan suits in more muted colours so I think i've given in. The thing is, I would have a fit if he ever tried to tell me I couldn't wear something haha.

Haha love this thread!!

Ours has been about parents interfering.... and wanting to invite everyone they have ever met!!

We have pretty much agreed on everything else to be honest, he has just agreed with most things!

Our three main ones

Having church wedding (I didnt want to, his parents did) - We are having a church wedding

How much we were going to spend (I was a bit more conservative)- Budget...What budget *rolls eyes*

the funniest one - How we were writing names on the RSVP cards, I wanted first names for everyone "Steve, Emma, Jason and Zoe", he wanted "Mr Smith and Family" well if 16 members of Mr Smiths family turn up then what?

I did it my way for my guests and he did it his way for his. We'll soon know who was right haha

OH and his mum wanted us to get married in a church, I didn't- we're having a civil ceremony (I won)

OH wanted a band, I didn't as we get our DJ for free and he looks fab - we're not having a band (I won)

I wanted to book a £2,000 videographer - we are having a £950 videographer (he won)

OH's mum wants to invite 9 extended family members. We compromised with 6. She now wants all 9 and he agrees (situation ongoing. I am refusing to pay for anymore guests!)

I wanted LOVE light up letters, he doesn't- I have booked them anyway as a "surprise". I'm sure that he will take credit for them on the day x

We've got just over a year until the wedding. So far, only ongoing debate (probably soon to be the only arguement!) is what name I'm going to take after the wedding. I really don't want to lose my name, so have proposed going double varrelled but he is very anti it....we are stuck in the dilemma of he won't change his, but wants our kids to have his name, but I don't want a different name to our kids! We are both incredibly stubborn and it's something I feel quite strongly about. Not quite sure what the outcome will be!!!

Our only disagreements revolve around food! He wanted table service and three courses, which would have been we could only afford one meal option. I wanted a hot buffet (only two courses but we could afford more choice). I won! But, I only wanted one meat and one non-meat option, whereas he wanted two meat and one non-meat option. I let him win that one.

So far our only disagreement has been that I want to start planning, he thinks it's too early. Neither of us have won because we have to wait for the school terms to be published so I know when we're looking at. Lol.