Ahhhhhhh I can't decide on a venue!!

Our venue, we were lucky with it had that stately home factor and was also the location of our second date, so it had that personal connection too.

I do think the venue is something that you have to consider, and go back to and reconsider, if you don't have a definite in mind. There are probably a few things to look at to make sure the venue provides you with a stress free planning experience and the freedom to have your wedding as you want it.

Are you using the venue for both ceremony and reception? How accomodating are they, for instance can you provide your own catering, the downside of our venue was that it had certain rules such as no stilettos and also we would have to use one of their approved caterers if we wanted to feed our guests, and what rules can you comfortably work around? Will they provide additional space for children, to get ready etc?

How helpful are the staff? This is a major one that I had not considered before, the chandeleir in our venue had to be 'warmed up' meaning that the staff would have to come in an hour early, and they did that for us as well as letting us come and go, free of charge (National Trust venue with admission fee) to size up the venue for decor and so on. We did have to compromise though and reduce our guest list by half and it is looking at what compromises your venue will force you into and if you are willing to make those.

We visited a hotel who hadn't paperwork on us but assumed we were there for our second visit, when we first went around venues. It thought we were on our second visit and started saying that we could only decorate the room according to their brochure - four styles - and our wedding cake had to be made by them. We advised them then we had not signed a contract and they were visibly annoyed they had shared this information with us so early on.

We viewed about 8 venues. All different. Hotels, barns, Manor houses, even a golf club! The venue we fell In love with was over budget. We carried on viewing venues but just could not stop thinking about this one venue we loved. I was even dreaming about it, and we couldn't imagine getting married anywhere else! We decided that the venue was the most important thing to us, we didn't want to settle for a venue we didn't love. So we went for it! Altho our budget has been blown (Despite trying to cut back elsewhere) I do not regret our decision. Our venue is just amazing!

So my advice would be if you can afford it, go for your dream venue! You're only doing this once!x

We chose our venue because it meant we could have it all in the same place (ceremony, dinner, reception) it was in budget, in the city I wanted to get married in (and on the seafront, where I wanted pics) it definitely didn't blow me away, but we're pleased we chose it and have some amazing photos. I refused to look at venues that were over a certain price because although they'd have had wow factor, there was a set amount of money we could spend and that was that. We were between 2, but H didn't feel comfortable in the other venue so it was a no brainer for us.

My venue was a place i didnt even think about. I was set on having my wedding breakfast and evening do in a hotel that I go to the gym in, but apparently they don't do weddings.

Then I went to a wedding fayre with my friend (just to be nosy) I walked into the hotel and said 'this is it, this is where we will come after church', we had a look around, I saw the bedrooms and rooms we would be using. I came home and told OH and then my mum. OH was happy with that, but my mum thought it was too big. (until she came with me to have another look around) she loved it as well and paid the deposit there and then

Good luck. Hope you find something you love

Thank you all. It has given me something to think about.

i know I want the ceremony and reception in the same place so that's a start!

i may not found something with the wow factor but hopefully with interior design I can make it my own!

fingers crossed

We went to see about 6-8 places and just didn't love anywhere as much as the venue we ended up choosing.

My mum says it's a creepy old house, I say it's got character, like us! It's not your usual venue, and we like that about it.

It was a bit over budget, but we decided to stretch the budget for what we loved, rather going for other places in our price range which we didn't get any sort of feeling from.

We stood at the end of the aisle where we'd be married and we felt something. Nowhere else gave us those bellyflips and had us grinning ear to ear. We've had fabulous service from the venue so far and we know we've made the right choice for us!

When you find the one, you'll know!

x

We saw about eight venues in total before we ended up with ours. I had originally had my heart set on a gorgeous place that could only accommodate half of our numbers. I really loved the venue, but my OH was really keen to prioritise guests over venue - the most important thing to him was to have all of his friends and family there to celebrate, and when I really thought about it I agreed with this too. When I first started looking at other places I found it really hard to find somewhere I loved as much as the original place, mainly because I was trying to find pretty much the same thing. The venue we have gone with is totally different to the original place, which helps because I can't really compare them, but also allows us to have exactly what we want in terms of guest numbers, food, booze etc. - there are very few regulations and this is something that has come to be more important to me than I had realised it would be now that I have gone on to start planning the rest of the day. It's really nice not to have to work around all the different rules that some venues have. If you're looking to add more of a personal stamp to your day this is something that I think is really important to consider.

The WOW factor comes on the wedding day, when you have all your decor and guests in place. The empty room that was cold and dark when you first viewed it, is a completely different location.

There is a period, and it is like the Don't Tell Your Bride series, where you and your OH see the room transformed and everything just falls into place at this stage. So perhaps it is often a blank template that people look for or something, one element, that they can integrate into their overall theme or vision of the day.

I had 3 potential venues all for different reasons... I did try to stay in budget when I looked!

One had magnificent views and lovely rooms but I saw a number of complaints about small food portions and no/not enough staff on trip advisor. Waits of 40 minutes for bar service! Very off putting for the top end of our budget.

The 'perfect' one was a Hall that would have been nice to marry in, had a lovely lake behind it for photos, had semi-exclusive use of the hotel (2 weddings at once maximum). However, it was a long trek for most of our guests and it was in the countryside on country lanes. With the weather around Sheffield being bad this year we didn't want to chance it with an October wedding. The rooms were also expensive as were any extras.

The one we have ended up with is an American style motel venue. It isn't pretty on the outside to be honest. It is good value, known for its good food and portions, the bar prices are sensible, the rooms are well prices for our guests, we don't have to pay a premium for a Saturday wedding, exclusive use, it has great disabled access (critical for us) and the staff are all friendly and accommodating - even when we turn up unnannounced! It is also local to most guests, is 10 minutes from the train station and is on a main road. The only issue with this venue was photos. So we are now marrying in church and having the photos done there :-)

We did a checklist - and the things that we thought about was would our guests fit in? My Mum is eccentric to say the least. We have a few heavy smokers as guests. We have Yorkshire men who believe paying over £2 for a pint is a rip off. We have people who like wholesome food, not posh food.

If we went to a posh place, who would really get drunk and boogie? Who would really enjoy it on the day?

Then I actually thought about me. I might dream of a posh wedding but I am not a posh person. Neither is OH. The hall was my dream ideal not the real me. I believe that a pretty Church followed by a reception where the staff and food are great and they are prepared to make my day whatever it takes is right for me.

So think about what you dream of and who you, your partner and your friends really are. Go with the venue that suits you best :-)

Hope this helps - I'm not regretting my choice!

Thank you for your reply. I guess I am so eager to make a choice and get somewhere booked I am putting too much pressure on myself!

my OH is luckily very laid back and is quite happy to go with the flow.

i was thinking I want a big posh wedding with all the luxuries but that isn't me or my OH and is not our friends and family. Thank you for your comment it all makes sense to me now and even if we have a very plain blank room there is always the option of decorating it! I am all excited again now and have a new sense of hope!

thank you all ???