AIBU - Kids in gym changing area / showers...

To continue the tangent, there was a case near us of a young boy being seriously sexually attacked by an older boy in a swimming pool changing room fairly recently - so although it's rare it's not like it never happens. It's a different environment to going to the shop or the park on their own (for example) and so I will also worry when the time comes that I have to send my two boys in to change by themselves. I much prefer open areas with locking cubicles where we can get changed individually or as a family ?

Back to the OP - eeeuuuww. I'm glad you're going to bring it up with management, I hope you get to relax and enjoy your swimming again ?

Not BU at all. The poo incident is disgusting. My older child (3) is toilet trained but I have a small baby and if I'd noticed he'd pooed in his swim nappy, I'd wait till I was out of the shower and deal with it as a normal nappy change. Re the pee it's revolting too and again unless he was completely bursting and had yelled "I NEED THE TOILET!" about 15 times and been ignored my 3 year old would only pee in the toilet, but with a smaller baby it'smaybe unavoidable.

Also where were the children's dad? Most swimming pools don't allow 1 parent in with 2 children under 8 I think the age generally is, I know if we go swimming it's as a family as apart from not being allowed to take the 2 of them in I have no confidence in my ability to control them both in that environment on my own ? and my husband will usually take our older son and I'll take the baby.

As for ages in changing rooms thing - the private gym I used to belong to had an age limit of 8 for opposite sex children in the changing rooms and tbh I still felt that was quite old, I am very self conscious as it is due to my size without a child the same age as my H's nephew who I know would snigger at boobs/ladygardens etc being there.

I always go swimming with my husband as i have two children under 4yrs.

If the family changing room is full H takes my 3 yr old boy and i take my 2 yr old girl into the single sex change rooms.

When they get older and i take them on my own if a family changing room isn't avalible, i'll just wait till it is. Purely because i hate that older (above 5 yrs) boys are allowed into the changing rooms. They're mostly of the age where they find body parts comedy and don't care what they say, plus i think it's not on for other peoples elder children to see strangers naked.

When i feel my son and daughter are mature enough and self aware i will allow them to go into changing rooms and toilets on their own. I doubt this will be for a long time. So i shall use family toilets and changing rooms for the foreseable future. I don't mind waiting for them to become free if they're occupied.

The poo thing, well that's yucky. If i were that lady i would of waited till i could have got to the toilet, or found some wipes or if in a bad emergency wiped their bottom with a used towel and 'washed' the child with those. Then showered him. As for wee, well i'm a minger, i wouldn't have minded a bit of wee going a stray. I mean it washes off as fast as it hits the skin on a wet shower room floor. Not nice but accidents happen when you have a small child/toddler.

Fine if you're in your own home, with your child, or possibly just about acceptable in a family changing area where those using it are potentially more laid back about such things, but no way is it acceptable in an adult changing area. The small child shouldn't have been there in the first place, and the OP (and everyone else using that gym) should not have to run the gauntlet of random emissions from strange children when they take a shower.

In answer to the initial post i'd be complaining about the boys making rude comments, where are the parents of these children anyway? Why on earth didn't the mother just take the child to the toilet and change him properly? Letting the poo drain away is just completely out of order and unnecessary.

I can understand why some parents don't use the family facilities. Our gym, Virgin, has a changing room in 3 sections although they're not really separated apart from a few lockers in between. The section with the playpen for families gets really busy during holidays so I tend to take MissSun in the section that isn't really specified as being for anyone in particular. There is a section marked 'adults only' if you don't want to be by the children.

Well quite.

But a child escaping and getting run over by a car is a much more real and tangible risk than him being taken/abused by a paedophile. My 3 year old went missing in Asda the other day and I was really panicking till I found him. Not because I thought he was at risk of someone deliberately taking him and harming him but in case he ran out into the car park (we were quite near the door and he disappeared) and getting hit by a car. I felt that was definitely a much greater risk than the chance of a paedophile wandering round Asda looking for random children.

Showing in others poo - so disgusting. Definitely complain.

A few years ago I belonged to a city gym where children were allowed in the pool at certain times at weekend and as such there were no family changing rooms. As such I expected kids to be in the changing rooms to get showered and changed. That is fine. However on one occasion there were two women who, when I came in from the gym floor, were braiding each others hair (a pretty time consuming exercise) whilst three young boys (probably age 3-8) fully dressed wandered around the changing rooms. I then went into the steam room, came out 20 minutes later and they were still there, freely wandering and gawping/giggling at naked women. Ten minutes in the sauna and the same. I showered, dried my hair and was getting dressed (they're still there still with no real supervision) and I heard a woman from reception coming to speak to the women saying that someone had complained but that the complaint was ridiculous and the complainer was being stupid. Well, considering they had been there for at least 50 minutes whilst fully dressed with no means of entertainment save for looking at other guests I agreed with the complainer. Not the kids' fault - the mothers should have been supervising. When I was finished I called the manager down to reception and explained firmly that not only did I agree with the person who had complained, I felt the way the staff member handled the situation was very poor. She had the decency to look embarassed.

I have to say I agree with Boop.

Children having accidents happens - especially newly toilet trained children. But you can minimise the disruption to others by using the family changing room. To be honest, people using the family changing room will have "been there and done that" and probably would be more accepting of childing weeing but its not fair to inflict that on others in the adult changing room

This is an age old debate , my thoughts on it are , it's not the fact of boys being in the ladies (and vice versa) that i view as an issue. But more to do with the behaviour of the children who are in there with their parents. And until all swimming pools etc. have family sized changing cubicles there's nothing else some parents can do but to take their kids in with them.

Omega

Um... I think it is exactly that fact though. Once they're a certain age, of course - the consensus seems to be between 6 and 8, which seems reasonable.

And as for "nothing else some parents can do" - yes, there is: either accept the fact that your child should be perfectly able to cope in a changing room on his/her own, or don't take them swimming.

Of course i wouldn't encourage weeing there but no one can stop a young child having a wee in the shower if they're not completely potty trained. I'm not talking primary school children. I mean younger.

And as a paying member of a gym room that has no rules about not having small children in the single sex changing rooms then you have to put up with a certain amount of pee. Not just from strange children. I'm sure some adults do it too.

Saying a small child shouldn't have been there. A small child has every right to be wherever his or her parent is. Or do we ban all children from changing rooms?

[shock] I have to agree with w1se monkey on this occasion [shock]

There are family changing rooms - what's so unreasonable about expecting a family to use them?

I'm only in agreement when referring to changing rooms with only one set of showers for everyone, ours have separate plugholes btw ?

The OP clearly says there are separate, and very good, family changing rooms - which I why I think it's unacceptable to suggest that 'it's only a bit of wee' and why WMs comments that I'm suggesting banning all children are clearly ridiculous.

On a busy day, for example the weekend it's unfair and unreasonable to expect a paying member to wait with young children in a long line just so they can use (example) two family changing rooms when it is possible they can use the single sex changing rooms.

I've used two different private gyms in the past and neither have a mass of family changing rooms. Some people can't wait if they have small children/babies.Most cases parents fit swimming inbetween nap and feeding times.

No WM asked a question. I didn't suggest that was what you thought.

Righto - but it's perfectly reasonable for another paying member to put up with being wee'd on in the shower. Well, I suppose some people pay good money for that ?

It's a drop of wee. Not like you have to dip your feet in a bucket of pee before you get in and out of the pool. And it's not as if all children/adults who enter the changing room would have an accident either. But a bit of wee mixed with alot of shower water is hardly going to make your feet drop off. Whereas poo sticks and gets between your toes ;-)

But there aren't usually separate shower facilities for families are they? In which case families don't have much of a choice, either use the regular showers or don't shower your children. Obviously, some gyms might have separate family showers but I've never been to one that does. I've been a member of/visited a number of private gyms and the showers are just cubicles, no family ones.

I also think that if you've just been swimming in a pool full of small children then chances are you've already come into contact with some wee ?

Actually I'm with Boop on this one - you go with children and you wait for the family changing room. Everyone who goes swimming is a "paying customer" so it seems sense to use the facilities tailored to your needs.

It's not tailored to your needs if you have to wait for over 30 mins or more for a family changing room. So as a paying customer families have a right to use the other changing facilities.

Am I going mad? What do family changing rooms have to do with small children weeing in the showers?

?

As far as I'm concerned, if you have a toddler who can't be relied upon not to wee in the showers, or an older child of the opposite sex who you're not willing to allow out of your sight while they shower, then you bloody well should wait for family changing rooms if they're provided, no matter how long it takes.

It's not "just a drop of wee" - I wouldn't be happy to be pissed on in the shower by an adult, why should I not care if it's a child?

<Swallows cheap shot about taking a dump by the side of the road>

I agree Sophie

When E was smaller and in nappies I have whizzed into the changing rooms but all bodily functions were contained. She's now toilet training and as such would not expect any other adults to have to deal with her having accidents and therefore will wait for the family changing rooms.

Sorry but IMO you wait until the appropriate area becomes available

Well, I think you're being very po faced, people pay good money to be pissed on you know ?

I think I may be strange. I am potty training my daughter at the mo and I won't leave the house without my potette (travel potty thoingy) as I dont like her peeing on the curbs, park etc. I appreciate I'm odd and there is nothing worng with that. So, as you might imagine , I wouldn't shower her in a shower that only has a communal plug hole as I'd be worried about the fact that some random adult might think of peeing. (yes, I did say I know I'm odd?).

Anyway, back to the point. None of what the OP witnessed is acceptable. TBH I wouldn't want someone else's child's pee touching me either. I don't care if it's diluted by the water lol. Seeing as my daughter is in the early stages of being without a nappy etc, I think I wouldn't get in a communal shower with the risk she pees and someone else gets touched by it. It is rude and inconsiderate. Id' wait for a single or the family ones or shower when we get home. Apart from that , i see nothi

See, I do agree with this, absolutely (and ? at your last comment), I just don't see how using family changing rooms will stop said toddlers weeing in the shower? Obviously I don't think they should be weeing in the shower in the first place but it seems to be a completely separate issue to me. Using a family changing room to stop toddlers/children running around/staring at people changing/being abducted by aliens - fine. But they still have to shower first before they start to get changed surely? Or are we worried they might wee in the changing area too? ?

I'm not sure I get the whole portable potty thing but that's a whole other thread.

The OP said that at her gym there are separate family changing / showering areas and I still don't think it's unreasonable to expect a family to use them if one, or all, of their members cannot be relied upon not to piss in the shower. Yes, Mr Boop, I am talking about you. ?[wee]

Ah ok I get you. Our local pool has a complete separate family room - so there's male rooms with showers, female rooms with showers and family room with showers. Is this not the norm?

Then in each room there are some cubicles and some communal areas