AIBU? Reading other people's greetings cards (v minor!)

Hmm, interesting question. For close family, I wouldn't have a problem. (Seems like the sort of thing my mother would do.) Other people, I think I would want to ask first - although please don't ask me to explain the logic on that one. ?

Oooh blimey. I sometimes read other peoples cards. Not birthday cards but wedding / baby related. I just think that cards can be really lovely and it's nice to see what people have written......I like looking through wedding guest books for the same reason! Hope it doesn't make me a rude cow!

Edited to add that I do ask first!

If they were locked away in a desk drawer then definitely rude as that's both private and personal... but if they're on display then I think it's par for the course. I'm sure he's just sharing in your joy, being a proud grandfather and wanting to read people's kindly sentiments. It shows he is involved, but not rude I wouldn't have said?

I actually suspect that in this case it's only okay because they're your PiL. If a random mate did it I'=d think it a bit odd, but the fact that it's their grandchild makes the cards more "theirs", iyswim? If it was your birthday cards they were reading I might mind. Anyway as you say, it's minor, I wouldn't worry about it.

I don't like it when people read cards in my house or on my desk at work.

I always read other peoples cards.

I don't mind at all when people read my cards. I would usually ask before being nosey myself though!

EY, I certainly don't think it's a heinous crime, and I suspect it was more because it was PIL than anyone else ? I wouldn't even say it was rude as such, just... wellm it made me realise I wouldn't do it. Not without a token 'may I look at your cards?' anyway. Which, to be fair, would be difficult for someone to refuse.

Now, if there is a card-etiquette where IANBU, it is thinking PIL should sod off when they read out their received (from people I neither know nor care to) Xmas cards to me ? Actually - that's relevant, it's clearly normal behaviour for them to share cards. Oh joy. Seriously, we get 'and this one says Merry Xmasm from <names>. It's from <same names>,,,' - no ***, Sherlock ?

I would read cards in the house of a family member or close friend. I'm just really nosy.

A group of us went to a house party recently and the hosts had their anniversary cards out on display. In the car on the way home the next day one friend said 'awwww, did you read what F had written in his card' and we all chorused 'oh yes, so sweet'. ?

I don't mind at all if people read my cards, if they were private I would put them away.

?

Oh you are toooooooooooooo lovely! You make me feel a right cow! He is in fact just being nosy, he's a nosy git. But, that doesn't make it odd/rude behaviour.

This really annoys me.My PIL do it all the time, and make comments about how we don't write much to each other- on Valentine's day etc.They write long gushy poems to each other, whicjh is lovely, but we're not all the same!

MIL then gets C to one side and asks if "We are getting on alright"

Happens every year.

Ooh I'd read baby cards I think. I guess I'd not read Valentine cards though ?

This wouldn't really strike me as rude. Although I totally get the PIL frustration thing.

I sometimes pick up friends cards and read them. Particularly baby one's and weddings. Sometimes birthday cards if they look like they might be amusing. To be honest I've never thought to ask, as they are on public display.... Doesn't bother me if others read mine.

I do this because I'm nosy. ?

I don't get them down of the wall or out of holders but if there are cards to hand in a friend's or relative's house, I would have a read.

I wouldn't write anything in a card I wouldn't want anyone other than the recipient to read.

It's not something I generally do - apart from maybe H's birthday cards which would be up at home - however if i receive a particularly humerous card from someone i'm more than likely to show my friends but to share the joke more than the card if you catch my drift.

Many many congratulations on the recent birth of your baby! ?

I wouldnt read my friends cards and I would find it extremely odd if someone came into my house and read mine. That said, I do read my Mums.

What I do find extremely rude is if a friend comes in my house and starts reading bank statements that I maybe havent got around to moving, notes from neighbours etc. I just find it odd. I may be curious but I always just move things out of my way and wouldnt read them.

My MIL came up to visit me when my H was away once, she bought her best friend and started taking photos off the side to show her--wtf my MILs friend would want to see a photo of my parents for is beyond me! Maybe thats just me.

If I'd sent a card then I'd probably look at the others too. If I went into someone's house and there were cards there then I wouldn't.

I would never ever read someone elses cards without asking! I do think it's rude. The card is to them not to me, and they are entitled to put anything on display in their house without me thinking its ok to just go and touch/inspect/read it!

This is so, so true. I wouldn't think it odd behaviour at all if my parents/family did it - which they would! And I do it to them too - but if PIL did it I would be so wound up!

I would read cards on public display, because, well they're being displayed, publicly.

Yes, I'd draw the line at Valentine's cards.

I have never, ever even thought about this, so am not bothered one way or another. Actually, I expect some people would be offended if their PIL didn't acknowledge their baby cards.

However, it is another thing to add to my list of "possible ways to offend".

Every day's a school day. ?

I'll read the cards that friends and family have on display, if they look interesting. More so if it's something a lot of people can 'get excited' about (new baby, new house etc). I also don't mind people reading my cards, and in fact will often show cards if the message is particularly noteworthy. It's never occurred to me not to, TBH as the cards are on display.

I have thank you cards on my desk from previous team members and lots of people have read / commented on them. If a card had a particularly personal message I wouldn't display it.

I can see why others may not like it though.

?

and what janna said too. if i didn't want someone to read my cards i'd put them away.

i can't see what's so offensive about reading them, surely all they say is 'congratulations' and similar? hardly intimate stuff ?

I honestly don't understand why it's offensive (even mildly so). Its hardly likely there are state secrets contained within so they are just reading the best wishes people have sent on the birth of your child. I love reading cards, if they are so private then don't put them up on display. That would imply that they are for viewing.

I consider cards fair game. I put them up with the expectation that other people might read them, to me cards are a public thing.
I always wander round reading cards my mum has put up. I don't know why, cards are really, really dull ?
However, other people I would ask if they minded cards being looked at

L
xx

What about calendars?

I think it's a bit odd to find it rude to be honest. Why are you displaying them if you don't want people to look? My mum always goes through the cards on our shelves when it's a birthday or christmas. If it was something I didn't want people to see then I'd hide it.

Bit like cards IMHO, if it's on display for all then it's fair game.

I'd just like to point out that I don't look at other people's cards (well maybe family's) or their calendars generally but I wouldn't care if people did look if I had them where they were on show. If I had an appt. for a smear or something then i'd stick it in my diary that's in my handbag or i'd put it on the calendar but wouldn't put 'SMEAR' it great big letters ?

I was caught out recently by a friend reading my calendar. She'd invited me to her house for dinner with her new boyfriend (who i really can't stand) and I told her it was my sister's birthday and we were going for dinner. Except i was actually doing that the night before.

She came over a day or two later, looks at the calendar, saw that the night she'd invited me was blank and the sister's birthday a different day... I muttered something about a change of plan but she knew she'd caught me. Must be more careful about leaving things on show. Or lying to friends...!?

Ah, see, that would never happen to me because I don't lie ?

It wouldn't bother me to be honest and I'm terribly nosy so like to read other people's cards too! On the calendar front I'd only look at maybe my parents or best friends, no-one else as I think that might be a bit too nosy - even for me!

Gem

x