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Beginner October 2023 South Yorkshire

Aita!!!

Jaydeen, 10 of April of 2022 at 02:21 Posted on Planning 0 3

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Hey ladies,
So I have an issue regarding my mother's partner. We don't get along at all, constant bickering, him talking to meet like a child, He insults me quite often and he's just overall not a great person to be around.
I've spoken to my partner and my mother on a few occasions about not inviting him to my wedding, he likes a little too much too drink and become aggressive and start arguements and throw insults normally directed towards me or my partner and children. My partner agrees he should not be invited however my mother is saying if he doesn't go then she won't be going either. She's called me an a***hole on occasions because of this but as she is my only family I want her to be there. I really need some help on what to do. As this is very stressful and upsetting to me. Any advice is appreciate. But am I the a****hole?

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Latest activity by Ali312, 10 of April of 2022 at 11:34

Dedicated October 2022 Surrey
Lisa · 10 of April of 2022 at 09:25
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It sounds like you are totally justified in your feelings about this man & not wanting him at your wedding but I can also understand your mother's side. When my dad's partner has not been invited to things he has refused to go too, different situation as she is lovely, we just have family members who refuse to accept her as she is not my mum. You don't say how long they have been together but if it is a long standing relationship she could feel insulted that the person she has chosen to spend her life with is being sidelined as she obviously sees some merit to him.

Things can get heated in family discussions. Might it be worth writing down your reasons in a clear, consise, non-emotive letter for her. It sounds like at the root of this you perhaps feel that she doesn't do enough to stand up for you with this man? Perhaps all of you need to resolve the heart of the issue & the wedding has just brought it all to a head.
However things pan out I hope you manage to have a wonderful, drama free wedding day x
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Savvy March 2024 Durham
Adele · 10 of April of 2022 at 11:28
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You're not being an a***hole at all! He sounds like he would be someone who could completely ruin the day. I think not inviting him is the right thing to do. Do you think your mother really wouldn't come if he's not invited? X
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Dedicated July 2022 Co Londonderry
Ali312 · 10 of April of 2022 at 11:34
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He sounds awful to be around, it's not surprising you don't really want him there. Can you talk to your mum separately and explain the situation? Although it seems as you've brought it up already and she didn't take it well.

I guess the only thing that's left is deciding how much you want your mum there. If that's not negotiable you'll have to invite him too and hopefully he won't cause issues. You could ask a few people to keep him busy to make sure you don't interact much, don't sit him anywhere near you. Good luck!
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