So i have been pretty stressed plannig this wedding!
Long story short, I am 23, am working full time, at uni, have recently got a mortgage on my first house and am attempting to plan this wedding! I am stressed!
I have had a few issues so far with the wedding, my original maid of honour dropped out of the wedding and stopped talking to me, I have had a bridesmaid drop out and come back twice and then stop speaking to me all together, my grandparent son my dads side are no longer attending the wedding due to the way they have been treating me, which has annoyed my dad.
So, i receive a call yesterday from my mum saying she needs to ask me something. She says that my nan (grandparent on my mums side) is very upset with me because she has realised that all three of her sisters and their partners and kids are not invited to my wedding. My mum then said to me that I need to invite them all and my grandparents may help towards the cost of their food. I have never met any of my nans sisters, husbands or kids (I wasn't even aware there was husbands or kids). None of them have seen me or spoken to me in about 20 years and have never met or heard of my partner before. Myself and my partner are wanting a very simple, intimate wedding, with immediate family and close friends at our ceremony. My partner has a very large immediate family and some of them aren't even coming even though we see them quite often. I tried to explain to my mum our situation, that we have already paid and confirmed our seating plan/ table plan, room décor, number of seats and food choices etc, and that we are only having immediate close family there to share the day as these are the people that we want to spend the day with and also the people that care about seeing us get married.
My mum has then got very angry at me saying that it is awful of me to refuse to invite her family. I mentioned that all close, immediate family from both sides are invited, even some cousins from her side (we haven't invited cousins from my partners side due to the sheer amount) I feel terrible that she is upset as well as my nan, but I am also sick of giving in to everyone and saying yes to things I do not want at my own wedding for the sake of others. I feel as though no one is taking into consideration that we are young, stressed, paying for the whole thing ourselves and just want to marry each other in the presence of the people that matter most to us. We don't want a large wedding full of people we do not know and do not care that we are getting married/ did not even know my partner existed until my nan told them of our wedding. (related or not). My nans sisters/husbands/kids etc ,have never got in touch with me, seen or spoken to me, asked about me either. I understand weddings are a family event, but my wedding is still not an excuse for people to take it upon themselves to invites others I do not know, especially when it is all paid for, organised etc and we don't want anymore people anyway..
Am I in the wrong for wanting to put my foot down with this a little bit? There are plenty of my extended members of family (from this side of the family) that have got married and whose weddings I was never invited to or informed of. It hasn't bothered me in the slightest because I do not know any of them well enough or see them enough to expect a wedding invite (in my opinion anyways) please help I feel terrible but I feel as though I should be allowed to be a little bit selfish when it comes to our wedding day and not feel guilty for things like this.. xx
