Hi everybody sorry I'm so late here it is! Photos at the bottom
The beginning
Our love story has quite an awkward start! I was 17 and working as a waitress at the local pub when Tay (19) and his dad started as chefs. On the quiet nights we use to chat and have a laugh in the kitchen and I really liked him although I was still kind of involved with my ex. One day he said he was going to take me out for a drink so I told my stepsister, who also worked there and is the same age as me (we have known each other since babies and are very close) told me he was taking her out too, that weekend! Seems Tay fancied himself a bit of a player! He took my sister out a few times before he moved onto the next waitress! The problem was my sister really liked him. The longer he worked there and the more shifts we did together a little spark started between us, he used to joke that we would travel the world together and have beautiful babies (something later mentioned in his speech) and he bought me a bright red lipstick like I loved to wear. Finally I bit the bullet and asked him to come round and that's how it all began... There was a big fallout when my step sister found out mainly as I'd kept it secret from her which was pretty horrible but all these years later we've moved on and everything is fine (save for a few comments about the groom and bridesmaid and also the best man she had a thing with! Who needs Jeremy Kyle?!)
The proposal
By this point we'd been together around 6 years and I was desperately anticipating a proposal mixed with thinking it was never going to happen. We had chose my ring together from the antique centre the Christmas before but a week later I found out I was pregnant with our daughter Imogen (we had been trying for 6 months and had decided to take a break when it happened) and he didn't want everybody to think he'd only proposed because I was pregnant so much to my sadness he didn't pop the question.
When Imogen was 6 weeks old we went on a little family night away to a beautiful little hotel in Stratford and being sneaky I checked the drawer before we left and saw the ring was missing! Result! As the day went on and we had been for a walk along the river discussing the future, had lunch and pancakes and eventually our evening meal and he hadn't asked I decided he must have changed his mind. I went back to the room feeling deflated and Tay said he needed to use the bathroom, when he came out he put a little bear in front of me holding a rose and sign saying will you marry me and my ring was tied around its neck then he got down on one knee and said 'well will you?' I think my only reply was 'do you really mean it you won't take it away?' And then we were engaged yay!
Planning
I'd been planning my wedding day since I was a kiddy and have always had folders on my computer with things I wanted, once Pinterest came into my life I was a wedding addict! We set a date for November 2014 which gave us 13months to plan and also we thought we would get some brilliant winter deals (didn't seem to work out that way at all we got money off hardly anything!)
As Tay is a chef he felt confident we could save money by self-catering our day so the hunt was on to find a venue that would let us do this. After looking at a fair few online my Mom messaged me about Pimhill Barn in Shrewsbury which comes totally empty and you can do anything you like for your day. We went to have a look and didn't need to go anywhere else as we loved it so much, we booked the date, my dad kindly offered to pay for the venue and then the planning properly began.
It was a few months in when we realized what a mammoth task was ahead, as the venue is totally empty it was the little things I hadn't really thought about; table cloths, staff, disco lighting that a kept worrying would be forgotten!
We decided on our priorities - entertainment, free bar and lots of food
And areas we would cut back - cake, suits, flowers
I began my diy mission in an attempt to recreate a Pinterest wedding on our budget!
My dress hunting began at the nec wedding fayre shortly after we got engaged and didn't go well, I'd not long had Imogen and was a size 16 and literally nothing fitted I felt so depressed. After a few more shopping trips at home me and my Mom went into a little shop by my house, I picked one up and asked if I could try it. It was Ramsay by Maggie Soterro and it fitted and I loved it so we put a deposit down and that was the dress done. Over the following year I joined slimming world and managed to loose 5 stone which I was really proud of but my dress needed a lot of alterations and didn't get finished until the day before the wedding which was stressful! Luckily on the day it fitted perfectly and seeing it hanging up in my room was amazing! We went back to the next wedding show and I spotted a Justin Alexander dress for £150 which was really sparkly and would make a perfect evening dress and my day one was pretty big a,though lots of the sequins and beads were hanging off still we snapped it up and Mom fixed it and you'd never have known on the night how it started!
I did all the stationary bits myself which took ages! Invites, menus, place cards, order of services and I had to reorder ribbon so many times from eBay but in the end I was really pleased with how they all worked out. Then there was the trees! OMG I hated those trees by the end! I originally wanted to hire some but the lady quoted me £2k and Tay said we could make them ourselves so off we snuck into the woods with a van and saw and cut off some branches which he made into trees then I brought artificial blossom and glued it on and only a few burns and many weekends later they were done for around £150!
Days leading up
Wednesday was beauty day. Me and my Mom went to the salon which would have been uber glamorous and lovely had it not been for having to take my will-not-sit-still-for-10-seconds toddler with us! I had my nails done which weren't really as bridal as I'd hoped for but by this point I'd started to be a little past caring about the small stuff. I'd asked for white and they were really beige but never mind. I also had my eyelash extensions done which I loved and made me look so girly, I had hd brows and I also had a Hollywood OUCH! I spent the evening packing boxes together getting things organised and ready to take to the venue in the morning when we got the keys, couldn't believe it was all finally happening and that I'd actually managed to 'almost' finish all my diy. The days leading up were really stressful as I felt really on my own with Tay having to work so much. He was trying to get extra hours in as he's self employed and didn't want to loose out too much with holiday pay as well as using the kitchen at work to get all the wedding food done in his breaks and he also went to the wholesale market on Wednesday morning at 3am to pick up all the wedding flowers so we were both quite snappy with each other and tired. He's since said it was the most stressful thing he has ever done!
Thursday we finally got the barn! The tables and chairs got delivered first thing and we spent the day making sure everything fitted (much to my relief) coupled with what have we done hiring this empty, freezing cold venue! I'd been poorly for the past week and took some cocodamol to get me through it which had made me feel so sick so by 7pm I had to leave and go and fetch my daughter to get her to bed and my mom and stepdad stayed to help lay the last table up.
Friday was mega stress day! Luckily we had quite a team to help but being the worlds worst delegator everybody got frustrated with me and demanded I tell them what I wanted doing. I was getting all upset as the barn had got quite damp during the night and my menus and place cards had gone floppy and bent and also bits kept falling from the ceiling onto my tables which was stressing me out, I just so wanted everything perfect. The catering equipment people had sent the wrong size plates so hubby had to rush to sort that and by tea time I knew I still needed to get home and get my things, pick up my daughter, my mom also needed to get home we were desperately running out of hours in the day I still hadn't printed my table numbers I just wanted to cry. I'd planned this lovely night in the accommodation where we had a Chinese and exchanged presents with my mom and it was all getting ruined. In the end my daughter didn't get to bed until midnight, I was really cross with my mom for leaving it so late to bring her travel cot and we were in the barn until 3am finishing the bouquets and little bits and bobs. I shut the doors and went to sleep knowing there was still things that needed to be done (the cake hubby was making, the mohijto, popcorn) he promised by the time I arrived it would be all done. Also it absolutely poured down all day!
The wedding day
I heard my daughter wriggling around 5.30am which woke me up (although she went back to sleep) and I was annoyed at myself for not getting more hours and praying I wouldn't still be poorly and feel like crap! I just lay there for 20 minutes looking at my dress hanging up and checking Facebook and hitched. Then I wondered upstairs to find my mom and sister and wake them up as with such a big bridal party (10 bridesmaids) they were coming at 6.45am to start getting ready and I wanted to get the pull out bed put away.
Everybody arrived and the chaos started which inevitably woke Imogen who was in the grumpiest mood ever. We had some toast and I didn't really have much of an appetite, I had my hair done first and that's something I wasn't very happy with. My step mom is a hairdresser and did it but within a few hours I looked like I'd been dragged through a hedge it had so much product on it was crispy and I had wanted much more relaxed curls. I had another panic when she pulled out the straps that needed to be sewn onto the bridesmaid dresses to find we were one set short, I didn't want to say anything to make her feel bad but was nearly in tears. I pulled my best friend into a side room to say what had happened who calmed me down, said I was being silly to worry and now she was officially maid of honor as her dress was a little different and in the end it really didn't matter.
It was all going well then suddenly we had less than an hour to go, my mom was nowhere to be found and everybody was being really off with me! I knew something was wrong but nobody would tell me what! Luckily my sister in law had taken Imogen for a drive around to get her off for a nap so that was one less thing to be stressed about but I needed my mom to help me into my dress. I later found out that the power had blown and there was no electricity so probably best they didn't tell me especially as it was also pouring with rain! Finally my mom came back sobbing, I seriously thought something was terribly wrong but she was crying over how perfect it was so we got into my dress (with difficulty the tog helped me in and did my shoes!) then we made our way over. I had the shakes so bad I could hardly breathe, non of the children wanted to go down the aisle so the procession got all messed up but I couldn't have cared less. I took my dads arm and started to walk (incredibly hard in my big dress!) and didn't notice the harpist playing canon or if Tay had put the cake out I was just so nervous. I finally got to him and he was smiling and told me to breathe and that I looked beautiful and the ceremony started. Imogen was naughty and shouted through our vows (luckily she's mine!) so I picked her up and when we made our promises to her she was super cheeky and stole the show. My friend did a beautiful reading for us shed written herself and his niece also did a sweet poem she had wrote. My one regret it looking around the room and focusing on the people who were missing rather than just being caught up in the moment but I was panicking about my table plan I'd spent so bloody long working on!
After the ceremony everybody went into a side room for warm ciders, canapés and popcorn (he did it hurray!) and we said our hellos before going for some photos. I cannot get over how lucky we were with the weather the sun came out and we managed to get some beautiful shots.
Then it was back inside for the meal and I was still worrying about the table plan and how people can be so rude as to just not turn up 7 of whom were on the same table. I tried my best to move things around but in the end had to just let it go try not to worry. Our tog introduced us as the new Mr. And Mrs. Van Deventer and everybody clapped and I tried to sit down in my dress which was really difficult and I could hardly breathe. My dad wanted to do his speech first to get it out the way he was so nervous and he did such a wonderful job then it was food time. Hubby being a chef had done all the food which was mega stress up to the day but it saved us so much money we catered for 90 people 5 courses including curry for 100 in the evening for £600. Starter was a Boursin and walnut pate with confit pear, fig marmalade and toasted ciabatta and it was lovely. This was my favorite moment we had a wonderful violin and acoustic guitar duo playing, the up lighting looked amazing and I looked around the room feeling really happy. Main course everybody had a choice of homemade pie (steak and Guinness, chicken ham and leek or wild mushroom and garlic) with duchess potatoes and baby root veg which I loved but could hardly eat with my dress being so tight! Then pudding was a trio of cheesecake followed by cheese boards, coffee and petit fours.
My husband got up to do his speech and started to talk about how meeting me was the best thing that ever happened to him before (rather surprisingly) bursting into tears and hardly being able to carry on! Then the two best men did their speeches and the meal was over. We had an acoustic guitarist for an hour while people chatted and drank then the duo came back on for a livelier set and were fantastic! I'm gutted we missed most of it as we went outside to do some sparkler photos with our tog.
Came back inside to see the Krispy Kreme towers had already been half demolished so glad they were a hit then we did our first dance to (odd choice) Oats in the Water by Ben Howard because we love the song then outside for the firework display which I'm so pleased we did and looked fantastic for what we paid (£300 for single ignition displays and they sent us two as a extra present so we got a 6minute display) after this I went and changed into my second dress which I'm so glad I had! I didn't even realise my first one was big but I was so uncomfortable felt like a big fat gypsy bride! Even had bruises the next day! And then the band started up for the rest of the evening (a little sad as I'd booked them with male and female lead singers but the girl was poorly and couldn't make it, still everybody said they were great). I remember being worried if people didn't dance or people left and there wasn't going to be enough of an atmosphere but I shouldn't have worried as people were still boogying to drum and base at 1am when it had to stop! The evening food was curry which went down really well only caused a bit of a panic as every time we asked it was 'almost' ready and it didn't get served until 10pm by which time quite a few people had left. A group of our friends we later found out stayed out in their camper van on the car park all night drinking what was left of our free bar! Must have been freezing!
My mom was absolutely s**tfaced trying to go home with the band so we had to drag her back to the honeymoon accommodation, we'd invited loads of people to stay there so no naughtiness for us on the wedding night! We did go back and sit in the bathroom while Tay helped my out of my dress and opened all our cards which was a nice end to the night.
The next morning I woke up at 7am in bed alone! Went to find my mom also in bed alone! Turns out Tay and my step dad had got up mega early to go and do all the clearing up and by the time I went to help there was hardly anything to do as a team had arrived and done most of it.
We were going to a spa for the night as took our little girl on honeymoon and wanted some 'us time' which was wonderful had massages and chilled out after all the stress. Then we flew out to the Domincan Republic a few days later.
Sorry it's taken me so long to write this I just got my photos back! And sorry it is so very long.
Thank you for always being here on the wedding planning journey for now i'm still glad it's all over but I'm sure it won't be long till I wish I could do it all again.
Lots of love
Mrs. Van Deventer Xxxxxxx
