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Curious July 2023 East Central London

All my friends have dropped out of my hen do, i feel so depressed

Honey, 18 January, 2023 at 19:41 Posted on Planning 0 5

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I’m feeling so deflated.

My hen do was planned last May, and every person confirmed they’d be attending and even planned travel arrangements (it’s abroad). As soon as it comes to paying, every single friend has dropped out. 2 friends can’t afford it and another 3 are now pregnant, so can no longer go. I now only have family going (3 aunties, 2 cousins, my sister and my mum) which is lovely and they are most special to me, but I’m gutted because I feel like a loser now with no friends!! Especially my two bestest friends who can’t go due to pregnancy (I’m happy for them but also gutted as I couldn’t imagine my hen do without them). It’s really making me feel miserable. I understand having it abroad is difficult but I just feel kind of embarrassed that I only have my family going. Any advice to make me feel better? Has anyone else had any drop outs? I don’t have that many friends anyway so it’s quite upsetting!

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5 replies

Latest activity by Honey, 31 January, 2023 at 19:26

Rockstar April 2023 West London
Sarah · 18 January, 2023 at 20:42
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No reason to be embarrassed at your family going - firstly you’re so lucky that they love you enough to come, but also nobody else will judge you for that at all. Honestly they’ll probably think you’re lucky to have a family who cares enough to spend money going abroad for a hen do.
If you really want your friends to celebrate with you, maybe have a mini hen do with them - something relaxed at home that most of them can make. By choosing to have a hen do abroad, you have to accept that a lot of people won’t come.
Put it in perspective - you’re still going to have an amazing hen do.
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Savvy August 2024 Kilkenny
August 24 Bride · 19 January, 2023 at 10:00
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I agree with Sarah!
No need to feel embarrassed at all ~ unfortunately things like this does happen when planning abroad hen do's and also planning so far in advance.
Why don't you make light of the situation and have a 2nd hen do in your home town or somewhere local with your bestest friends who are pregnant and do something like a spa day with a afternoon tea or something that? Or even just a brunch in a nice restaurant ~ hasn't got to be pricey just spend the time with your bestest friends celebrating your upcoming wedding.
I'm planning my hen do with my MOH and i already know that some people on my drafted guest list may not attend due to cost. I will be asking alot of people coming to my hen do abroad and my wedding which is also abroad as to why i'm having 2 hen do's.
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Genius July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · 19 January, 2023 at 14:57
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It's a shame that your friends can't come, but don't take it personally. Life has changed a lot for many of us in the past year, so it's no surprise that some people can't afford to travel abroad, and people can't plan to the day when they are going to conceive. It's just unfortunate that the timing prevents them joining you.
I agree with PPs - enjoy your hen do with your family, and then maybe think about having a mini hen do with your friends at another date. It doesn't have to be complicated - even just a takeaway and a film will do, just something to celebrate your friendship together.
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Savvy November 2024 West Midlands
Katey_84 · 27 January, 2023 at 18:28
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Sorry to read this, please don't take it personally at all. There could be many reason why friends can't make the arrangements to go abroad for you hen - however, a mini hen sounds fabulous!
I'd love to go abroad for a long weekend for mine but I know many of my friends will struggle with the cost of it especially with the cost of living crisis or getting child care arranged.
I plan on keeping things small and simple (I've married before and experienced the large pen party etc) a bottomless bunch with the girls followed by a hired hot tub in my own backgarden
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