Am i being unreasonable??

I don't think dads need to match nor mothers match bridesmaids however they obviously want to and if it's causing ww3 it's not worth the agro. How much over budget is it?

We're not having the Dads in matching suits, well potentially anyway. We've bought the suits for OH and ushers etc. (They were on offer in Debenhams and worked out cheaper than renting) We've told the dads which suit it is and said if you want to wear the same that's great but we can't afford it in the budget so you'll need to buy your own. Otherwise we're happy for your to wear any blue suit.

Its £320 over budget theres no way i can pull it out of any of the other stuff!

If the mams dont match why do the dads need to?

Thanks for your replies! X

My mum is very traditional with weddings, and was nicely surprised to find that we were getting my dad's as 'traditionally' dad's suits are not considered something bride and groom are reasonable for. If you want to go down that route, there may be an out.

Also, since it's £300 odd over, have you considered getting them in say the January sales from the high street, or the blue cross sales they have. That might significantly reduce the price too?

I agree with tidal wave keep an eye out on line for the sales or check outlet stores. My oh got his from jaegger outlet shop. My sons had some nice suits from next.

We got my OH's, best man and my dad's from Next and my bridesman from Moss Bross during a huge sale.

Ours are from Debs in a blue cross event - buy one get one half price. But they're not tails are anything

I definitely don't think they need to match. Our dads are sorting themselves out - in fact, everyone is, even the bridesmaid. This was partly for budget reasons (feel your pain!) and partly because I want a nice natural feel rather than everyone looking too regimented. The only thing tying our bridal party together will be the flowers - buttonholes for the boys and bouquets/corsages for the girls.

If they're not happy with organising their own suits, I'd be inclined to suggest they pay the difference if they feel that strongly about it. You might find they suddenly don't care as much when you put it like that! x

We arent having suit at all but I agree with your parents, your mom is paying and its VERY disrespect to cut out/minimise her husband like he doesnt matter... I think you should appologise and be more sensative to the people that are helping you

Sorbet what are you on about?? My mam agrees with not having the dads in matching suits its my OHs side that is kicking off so can i have my head back please?!?!

i will still need 6 suits (groom best man and 4 ushers) ive been trying to keep an eye in the sales and coz of the sizes of some of the lads high street shops dont stock them.

thanks for your suggestions tho i appreciate it!

I don't think they need to match. You could just let them know if they need a particular colour and I'm sure they can sort it out. Like the others have said, if you have time you could look at suits during the sales in places like Debenhams. Maybe the dads could match then the groom/ushers wear something else.

Have to say Sorbet, think your reply makes no sense as MrsD2Be17 didn't even mention anything about that?? Doesn't sound like she's being disrespectful, just realistic if it's over budget!!

Just a thought... but if your Mum is paying for the wedding and it's in-laws who want the matching suit then I don't really think it's down to your mum to buy your father in-laws suit by any stretch of the imagination. Your mum choosing to buy her husband's suit is one thing and could be argued that that is seperate to the wedding. In-laws could pay for his own suit and still have the same colour as everyone else. So maybe that's the way to approach it. Say your mum is paying for the wedding and paying for the suits for best man and ushers. You could also say that you and oh are paying for his (groom) and stepdads and mum are paying for his. Therefore father inlaws suit is down to your in-laws but you're happy to say what colour and style you're having if he would like to match. It's not traditional for the brides mum to buy a suit for the grooms dad.

I have to admit, when I first read your post, I thought the same as Sorbet. All you said was "ww3 has broken out", which didn't make it clear who was kicking off or why - it could have referred to your parents, OH's parents, or both. (Or even someone completely unrelated - like an interfering aunt or something, which isn't unheard of on here!)

Now that you've explained that your mum is happy with the situation but OH's parents aren't, I agree with a couple of the other posters. Explain that your parents buying your Dad's suit is separate to the wedding; only the bridal party's outfits are being bought as part of the wedding budget; and your in-laws are more than welcome to purchase the same suit for your FIL.

If it was my mam that was upset she would have no reason to be because its her thats set the budgets if she wanted my step dad in matching she would just increase the money we have to spend.

OHs family are kicking off because now they have to go and buy a suit (they just assumed he would have one that my mam would pay for) when they already have to buy a MOG outfit.

my heads battered because i cant see the problem..

I don't see the problem either. I know sometimes now suits are hired and couples pay for everyone's hire but to expect the parents of the bride to pay for his suit is a bit cheeky to be polite. He doesn't need to match so his options are buy a suit to match. Hire a suit to match. Don't match and wear what he had. They are the ones being unreasonable and in this case ww3 or not I would simply say these are the options. My stepfather has decided to buy a new suit and therefore is having one to match the rest of the men. you don't need to if you don't want to you can wear whatever you have or buy same or buy different or hire. My mother is NOT buying your suit! They wouldn't go to anyone elses wedding and not expect to provide their own clothes.

I don't think there should be any assumptions made by any party on who's paying for what. There's no longer any tradition on what gets paid for by whom, it's just down to each personal situation. We are only having groom and best man in matching, and working on getting my Dad in matching (but he lives abroad so getting him a suit to match may prove difficult). If you and OH aren't that bothered about your Dads/StepDad matching, then they don't need to. I'd agree with others, I'd speak with your OH's parents and explain the situation. At the end of the day, it's not worth falling out with family over clothing.

your post does not say that at all and you purposesfully mentioned your mother and step father (who wont need a suit because he isnt walking with you) and nothing about your in laws ?

if the people paying dont want it and you dont want it then I dont get the issue or making a big deal out of it

I don't think dads need to match but if your dad of father in law have the same suit it's probably not wise to exclude your father in law especially when your mum is paying. Where have you got the quote from if you don't mind me asking? I know miss bros can be quite expensive but slaters and debenhams also do suit hire so I would see if they could do it cheaper

Just read your in laws are complaining in that case swap all dads to any suit you feel like and sod them as they aren't paying. My dad and best man matched but didn't have the same suit as my oh and it looked fine. Have the suits you want but definatly shop round for a cheaper deal