Am i overreacting to these rules?

Oh my gosh !!! How awful!! I’m so sorry to hear this, it’s not their place to decided the timeline of events in your life. Do as you wish because life genuinely is not promised and you don’t want to miss out on it because they told you to wait !! If I’m honest, maybe a bit petty, I would ensure my wedding was exactly a month before theirs ☺️ Hope you get the engagement, wedding and family of your dreams 🤞🏼🤍

Wow please do what u want to do, life is too short to be waiting for other ppl to go first

OMG!! who do they think they are telling you what you can snd cant do!!! This is your life do what you want. They are obviously full of themselves!!!
Don't let them put you off doing what you want to do Life is too short to let other people tell you what to do xxx

What!?! YOU DO YOU! Lifes far too short to not do what YOU want and makes YOU happy!!!!

These people sound like nutters. If you guys want to get married - it’s your lives so do what you want. So what if they get upset - it’s pretty pathetic they want to base their ‘happiness’ over news of other people’s happiness. Whatever happened to people being happy for one another? Some weird competitive ‘who’s doing life best’ vibes here.

This is ridiculous - your life shouldn’t be on hold because of theirs. From what they sound like, who’s to say once they are married they won’t then stipulate other rules for when you can do things until they had kids, for example?


A family fall out is never nice but doesn’t sound like they deserve you anyway

Why are you listening to them? You are both adults. What if you find it difficult to have a child and you have waited? It’s your life. You do what makes you happy. They are totally unreasonable in their demands.

Hi guys. Thanks for all your support on this. My partner bought me a ring for Christmas and we are now officially engaged. I’m so so happy. My parents are over the moon. And everyone seemed to be really happy for us except my partners brother and his partner. When they came round last night both my partners brother and his partner were really annoyed at us. They have said we have ruined their wedding and taken away the spot light from them. They called us both very selfish ( and a lot more besides). When my partners mum tried to reason with them they told her not to bother coming to their wedding. We have been uninvited too unless we break off our engagement. I really don’t want to miss their wedding. I feel so guilty for getting my partners mum banned from their wedding too. Is there any advice to try and talk them round? I don’t want to cut them off completely because I know I will regret it later on in life but these demands are just getting too much 😢😢

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Firstly, congratulations on your engagement! I'm so happy for you both!

And now onto the other point:You haven't done anything wrong except spend too much time and mental energy trying to reason with these people. Don't cut them off but definitely go low contact for a bit. They clearly have some deep-seated issues that they need to sort out, and you neither can nor should do that for them. Follow the second rule of the internet: Don't feed the trolls. If they are going to start uninviting people now (when their wedding isn't for a few years anyway) then that's up to them. I do understand you don't want to miss their wedding, but they're behaving like toddlers. At this rate they'll alienate everyone and there won't be anyone at their wedding! Ultimately, it was not you that got your partner's mum uninvited. THEY did that. THEIR choice. YOUR choice is to either continue being happy in your engagement and love, and start planning your own wedding, or give everything up for someone else who is making unreasonable demands and, from all appearances here, are both highly toxic and unpleasant people. I am not you, but I know which I would choose...

Ahh I’ve just been reading this whole thread and I’m SO HAPPY you’re engaged! That’s the best news and you deserve it 100%. I think any other person you speak to will tell you they are being absolutely ridiculous and quite frankly, nasty. Please just go ahead with your plans with excitement and hope they come to their senses, but if not than I unfortunately think you both need to just let them go from your lives as they don’t sound like the sort of people you want in your life anyway! The nerve of them to respond to your engagement like that…!! Makes so fuming haha

It is ridiculous of them to even ask you to wait. You do things in your own time when it's right for you, you can't let someone else dictate how you live your life. It's very selfish of them to ask this of you!
I would simply explain that you were already talking about marriage and starting a family before they announced their engagement and that you cannot hold off just because they're getting married. I'm currently 35 and if I had to wait 2 years then I'd be 37 so I understand your concerns - waiting to start a family could mean you are reducing your chances of conceiving and it's not fair of the couple to put that on you!
The spotlight will very much be on them for their wedding day regardless of what's happening around them. They need to understand that you're not moving ahead with your life to spite them and that it's not a race to be "first one to..."Just explain your situation and how you're feeling. If they don't accept it then sod them. You don't need people like that holding you back in life

I'll keep my response simple:


Your life, Your Rules!

You can’t reason with unreasonable people.

If they’ve already uninvited you, they have no more cards to play, so go ahead and plan and live your life. If they kick off again, what are they going to do? Uninvite you more?

If I was your family, I’d be starting to get really annoyed that you’re allowing these idiots to have control over you. Why on earth would you prioritise their feelings over your own loved ones? Good on you guys for getting engaged - now follow through and enjoy every moment!

That’s in one craziest things I have ever heard, who do they think the are! Life is too short and you have your own life to lead….I would definitely suggest standing your ground and doing what suits you, they sound like a nightmare. And have absolutely no right to have any day in how you love your life. Your fiancé should really have your back and be standing up to them too….the last thing you want is friction between the two of you of course, but I think that would be driving me mad too!

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Ahhh! I'd missed this update - Congratulations!! Pretty rich of them to call you guys selfish when they're the ones trying to dictate your life and your womb for the best part of half a decade. Sounds like you're not missing out on much by not having them there. Get married and invite them, if they choose not to take the olive branch that's on them. They'll probably have calmed down by the time they get married - either that or they'll realise they've alienated half their guest list by being petty and need to apologise or face an empty wedding reception.

Marry your love, have your babies, and let them be bitter. Find your happiness!

I can't believe I missed the update either! Congratulations!!! How is the wedding planning going? Did BIL and his fiancée ever climb down off their high horses, or are they still acting like world dictators?