Anxious Bride to Be

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.

It's really frustrating when people drop out for no good reason after saying they will come, but at this stage, there isn't much you can do about it. It might help if you stopped thinking about the wedding cost in terms of '£ cost for 80 people even if fewer turn up' and instead, just think of the cost as a lump sum you are paying to have your wedding reception - I know it sounds daft, but if you are thinking about it as a cost per 80 guests, then every time someone drops out, you are going to feel like it is wasted money, but if you are just looking at it as a fixed payment, you might not!

As for the anxiety about sleep etc, yes it is really natural. I find it helpful to think 'ok, what is the worst that could happen and how would I deal with that?' as it stops me catastrophising. For example, it would be annoying if you didn't get any sleep the night before your wedding as you would feel more tired the next day than usual...but really, how bad is that in the grand scheme of things? You'd still get married. You'd still have a great day (the adrenaline would keep you going!) You'd just have to catch up on sleep over the next day or two.

Try that with everything you worry about. When you find your thoughts spiralling into that kind of worry, try thinking 'how likely is this to happen?', 'how bad would it be if it did happen?' and 'what can I do to reduce the chances of that happening?'

I am so with you on both these things!
We had a few declines and most of them made sense to us but there were 2 that stung. My fiancé's cousin (who he was close to) told us he didn't want to waste a day of his annual leave on our wedding. Those were his exact words!
My friend got married last year and there were a few people who showed their true colours too. Some decline with no reason, others accepted and then didn't show up with no explanation. Weddings bring out the best in people but also the worst. It definitely shows you who genuinely wants to be in your life.
With the anxiety thing, I would say it's normal. My wedding is 3 weeks away and I have barely slept for the last week and have had all sorts of wedding nightmare dreams. When you put so much time, effort and thought into planning something as important as a wedding it's only natural to have some degree of anxiety. That same friend I mentioned above was barely functioning the 2 weeks before her wedding. Her brain was so focused on the wedding she couldn't really think about anything else. She did say though that after all the stress and anxiety, on her wedding day she felt so calm and happy. She described it as floating through the day on a cloud of happiness. So don't stress, it's gonna be great .
I swim a couple of days a week to help me manage the anxiety. That time I'm in thr pool I'm so focused on swimming, I don't think about the wedding or my to do list.
Perhaps try and find some way to take some time each week to do something that takes your mind off the wedding. I can also recommend camomile tea. A cup of that before bed has helped me relax the last few nights. Feel free to drop me a DM if you want to chat anytime. Talking to other brides who understand really helps

Hi,

Can you still send any of the spare invites to a reserve list? Not sure if it's too late. I sent out a couple of invites to people on the reserve list. I've had all sorts of nightmares with guest lists. It's the most stressful part of organising. Good luck on your big day!

View quoted message Hi there some very sage advice and I'll definitely bear that in mind, I think I've just been surprised by some people, if that makes sense? It's definitely opened my eyes to the people in my life, that's for sure... I think with the sleep thing, sometimes I really get in my own head but I've bought some chamomile tea and sleeping tablets for the night before so really hoping I can get some decent sleep the night before x

View quoted message Hi Kirsty, thank you for your kind words eep! Not long to go now, I hope you have an amazing day and enjoy every moment of your big day 💖


I've definitely seen some people's true colours throughout my wedding planning, some more than others
I've definitely gotten better in recent weeks in regards to looking after myself and exercising, and it fedi

View quoted message ... (continued) and it definitely helps


Good luck for your wedding day 😁 thank you, will definitely bear that in mind x

View quoted message Hi Lea


Unfortunately we've already bumped up all of our reserves to main guests at our wedding, we originally invited 105 people to our wedding to mitigate for people dropping out, we've had about 26 drop out which is just insane! I just keep trying to tell myself that the people who matter the most will be there x

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Hi Tiff,

It just shows who are the people who matter. You'll have a fantastic time anyway. Just concentrate on the positive things. It's becoming real now. We're getting married on 1st July. You must be getting married around the same time. Good luck and have the best day!

View quoted message Thanks Lea 😁 trying to tell myself that, it's just been difficult being let down by so many people... 4 weeks to go for both of us! Good luck to you too, hope you have an amazing day x

I a getting married in Malta invited 180 now down to 61. I couldn't give a darn too hoot who comes as long as my groom and kids are there. You can't worry about people's agendas, so I have 11 from my side although I have 8 siblings. I get it though travelling to Malta is an expensive so I'm making it the best ceremony ever, can't wait.

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We've just had one cancel on us a couple of days ago. I find it really rather annoying but it happens. I expect a couple of more people will cancel in the final run up the wedding. Yes, less than 4 weeks now! Starting to get a tiny bit nervous now. Worried that I might forget something or that something might go wrong. Have to keep telling myself that it doesn't matter and that I should enjoy the experience. The main thing is that we'll be married no matter what goes wrong. :-)

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I got married on 1st June and the only advice I can give is just don't worry. On the day all the stuff I worried about didn't even enter my mind. I was actually so calm and just focused on my now husband and the people who were there. The day goes so fast, so enjoy the build up because it will be over before you know it.
I can honestly say my wedding day was the happiest day of my life and all the things I stressed about in the days before, just didn't matter on the day!I hope you both have amazing weddings 😊

View quoted message We've had the same, we invited well over 100 people and are now down to 79... I think the thing that upsets me most is that people have had a year's notice of our wedding but are still dropping like flies at the last minute 😞 I know it happens to every couple planning a wedding and I know on the day itself it won't matter, but it still hurts when people let me down... I hope you have an amazing wedding x

View quoted message Hi Lea


Yeah, definitely! I'm trying to tell myself all of the people who let us down, it's their loss anyway! It's definitely becoming real, the anxiety has definitely kicked in... We're getting married on 30th June, so 1 day before you... Thank you ☺️ same to you x

View quoted message Hi Kirsty hopefully I'll feel the same way on the big day, we've put in so much time and effort for this and I hope I get to appreciate all of our hard work as sometimes it can feel like you're so busy planning it that you don't get to appreciate all of your planning, if that makes sense?


Definitely am enjoying the build up, even if it is making me anxious!

Oh no, you are making me nervous! We have told a lot of people our date, with 16 months notice. Our venue is for 80 guests, although we have paid it as a full amount, so definitely going to think about it that way (thanks @romanticgreenstationery27135)

We have started with the people that we absolutely must have with us, then will work from there.

We are not inviting children, but will consider that option if some people can't come due to childcare issues.

Good luck and remember to enjoy the day!