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Newbie Bride May 2021 Oxfordshire

Any May 21 brides?!

Helen, 6 January 2021 at 17:15 Posted on Wedding Planning 0 31
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Hi all!


I was due to marry November 2020 but we obviously had to cancel. We rebooked for 28th May 2021 and decided to change venue to a smaller intimate venue. We can’t go ahead with less than 30 people for family reasons. I am now wondering if this new date is going to go ahead. Do we postpone again now? I was thinking wait until March to decide but if we want to postpone to Autumn, venues and dates could get complex if we wait too long! Any advice welcome xx

31 replies

Latest activity by RomanticBrownStationery29719, 13 January 2021 at 23:33
  • RomanticBrownStationery29719
    Dedicated Bride
    RomanticBrownStationery29719 ·
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    Hi I am june in Scotlandand hope for 50 but will decide by March I guess if to postpone. Tbh no one can tell you what will happen just now. No one knows. Are you in England? Boris is more lenient so you might be lucky.... but no one knows what happening in the next 2 months even atm. Its just wait and see for all of us
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  • Zoe
    Newbie Bride June 2022 Cumbria
    Zoe ·
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    I’d consider sending at least save the date type emails if people have to consider travel
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  • Zoe
    Newbie Bride June 2022 Cumbria
    Zoe ·
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    Sorry seems I have replied on the wrong thread and now can’t delete it!! Does the intimate venue allow the numbers you’d like?id give it until April, hopefully things will be greatly improved by then xx
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  • T
    Savvy Bride May 2021 East Central London
    TheOrganisedBride ·
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    Hi Helen,


    I’m a May 2021 bride too! We’ve sent save the dates but holding off on invitations for now. We’ll decide in March how it’s looking and whether to go ahead in May or postpone. Our original numbers are 100, and the venue was really expensive, so it would be so tough to cut down and justify the venue costs for a very small number. We just have to take each day as it comes at the moment. The main thing for us is actually being allowed to marry (which is unbelievably illegal in England at the moment), then we can have a party at a later date at the original venue when possible. Not ideal but better people will understand. I’ve heard of brides who are already postponing autumn 2021 dates to 2022, so you may get lucky with a new date if you do decide to postpone.
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  • H
    Newbie Bride May 2021 Oxfordshire
    Helen ·
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    Hiya ☺️ We have decided to review is informally each week and decide in March what we will do. Our numbers were 120 but the minimal number we need is 30 really. The venue would be amazing for 15 up to 75 and is a great price. It’s deciding if we go ahead however we can or postpone to autumn xx
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  • H
    Newbie Bride May 2021 Oxfordshire
    Helen ·
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    So hard for everyone I just want to feel excited not to mention crack on with things like buying the rings and bridesmaids dresses xx
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  • T
    Savvy Bride May 2021 East Central London
    TheOrganisedBride ·
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    Good thinking! I’d say wait until March as things will be a little different by then I think/hope!! But whatever gives you peace of mind is the right decision for you 🙏🏻 xx
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  • April21Bride
    Dedicated Bride April 2021 West London
    April21Bride ·
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    We luckily ordered our rings the day before tier 4 was announced but can’t go to the store to give my ER so they can fit to my WB gaaagh!


    Are you going for high street BM dresses? If so, shouldn’t be an issue to deliver and try on in lockdown. Know what you mean about the build up though I’m an April bride and as much as we want to be married ASAP I do also want a hen do 🥲.
    What will be will be I guess x
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  • L
    Newbie Bride May 2022 Durham
    Laura ·
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    Hi!


    I was originally a May 2021 bride but postponed last week just before the most recent lockdown. The whole experience has been stressful from start to finish and I didn’t want to remember my big day for that. We also didn’t want to cut our numbers so felt that the decision was the best for us in the end. If it helps, postponing was effortless and we had a new date agreed and booked with all suppliers in less than an hour!
    It really is a difficult position to be in, especially with you already being there once already! If you are happy with reduced numbers then it wouldn’t hurt waiting until March. Hope you get sorted! xx
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  • Bdubs3
    Newbie Bride May 2021 Cumbria
    Bdubs3 ·
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    Hey Smiley smile
    I’m a 2nd May 2021 bride and so far we are continuing with our plans to get married on this date. We originally planned to have an intimate wedding anyway (40 guests) so having 15 guests isn’t really going to be a massive difference. We don’t know enough people to have a massive wedding anyway!
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  • H
    Newbie Bride May 2021 Oxfordshire
    Helen ·
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    Well I know the rings we would like so I am hopeful we can get them sorted online. We have seen dresses from JJs house but I haven’t ordered anything from them before! I get excited then I remind myself it may not happen again xx
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  • H
    Newbie Bride May 2021 Oxfordshire
    Helen ·
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    We sound similar! We had planned a larger wedding but it’s both of our second wedding ( I am a widow) so we are ok with less people xx
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  • April21Bride
    Dedicated Bride April 2021 West London
    April21Bride ·
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    Get excited it’s your day! Sounds like you have a plan 😊


    It’s both our first (and hopefully happy and last times) getting married and I’m beyond excited.
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  • E
    Newbie Bride May 2021
    ExpensiveBrownBridesmaid41562 ·
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    Hi!


    I was originally a May 2020 bride, then a Sept 2020 bride and now a May 2021 bride!! We really don't want to move our wedding again so at the moment planning on getting married in May regardless and then work out the rest. Like most people we are waiting til March to make that decision. I suppose we are fortunate in some ways as everything has been bought I.e. rings, bridesmaid dresses etc. Just a waiting game now to see if we have have the number of guests we hoped for (85) and not have to be too limited!
    Fingers, toes and everything else crossed!
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  • Rox1991
    Newbie Bride May 2021 Shropshire
    Rox1991 ·
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    We are getting married 9th May and have decided to wait until March too and decide then whether to postpone. Think we’ve come to the fact that it will probably be 15 or 30 guests. Just hoping we can be out of lockdown by end of March/April so we have time to finish planning everything! Looking a bit tight!
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  • Sassy
    Newbie Bride May 2021 Devon
    Sassy ·
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    Hi.
    I'm getting (hopefully) married the day after you. I also don't know what to do in this situation. Wait and see what happens or postpon? . My grandmother is 93 and really can't imagine the day without her and if I postpone for another year then given her age I may regret it. Fingers crossed for everyone in this situation 🤞
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  • Sophie
    Newbie Bride May 2021 Worcestershire
    Sophie ·
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    I’m the 29th May 2021... we’re hanging in there at the moment. We’re planning to hopefully wait until the end of March/Easter before making a decision, although we have discussed potential back up dates with our venue. Although my issue with postponing is that some of our original suppliers can’t make our potential rearranged dates ☹️


    I’d sit tight for now. I think it’s too early to tell what things will be like, I feel like things will be better by Spring, but it just depends whether it’s “better” enough for the day we want.
    In terms of invites, we’ve sent paper save the dates but were thinking if we do go ahead with May, we’ll probably send email invites some time in April, rather than post, to speed up the RSVP process.
    Fingers crossed for your day and good luck with whatever you decide. Such a stressful time for us all x


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  • T
    Savvy Bride May 2021 East Central London
    TheOrganisedBride ·
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    Just to say, I ordered bridesmaids dresses from JJS House too. They’re amazing quality but they take about 5 weeks to arrive and the shipping costs were circa £60 for 4 dresses. Just to warn you!
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  • Will
    Newbie Groom May 2021 Greater Manchester
    Will ·
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    Curious whether other people are having wedding contract issues and how they are overcoming them. We are due to marry May 14th 2021 at a relatively expensive all in one venue.

    We do not want to marry with 15/30 people if it means no dancing, no partying, all social distanced etc. so have resigned ourselves we'll just registry office for now and renew vows years later. However, due to the contract we are going to have to play along that it will be a full wedding 80-90 guests and plan on that basis as IF we plan for 15/30 it may go ahead and we'd have to either go ahead or pay on that basis.

    It is all do with ensuring we hit the requirement of becoming "frustrated" and being able to get our money back from the venue. The annoying thing with this is all the accrued charges we will get in the meantime for meetings, planning and other interactions. Also it will depend on when it is confirmed that it can't go ahead as a full wedding by the government. This could be difference between paying 000s of pounds at the designated payment dates prior to the wedding just to hope it is refunded. Also it means we will just have to say yes to all the standard/basic options to minimise any further costs. It just feels like it will playing a total game to keep up appearances between us and the venue and its so upsetting. We also can't notify guests/contractors until possibly a week or 2 before that it has officially become frustrated.

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  • T
    Savvy Bride May 2021 East Central London
    TheOrganisedBride ·
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    Hi Will,


    When did you sign the contract? If it was when Covid restrictions already existed then frustration *might* not apply if the fact that restrictions would apply in May 2021 was something which you reasonably could have foreseen when you signed the contract. I presume it was around a year ago, so no one would really have thought then that the restrictions would still be here in spring 2021! Plus the law on frustration isn’t entirely black and white!!
    It might just be best to address the elephant in the room head on and sooner rather than later with your venue i.e. have a call with your venue asking what would happen if you continue to plan for and want 80/90 people for your wedding but then it’s not permitted at the time or even a couple of weeks before. (You could pretend you’re blindly optimistic and think 80/90 will be possible, so they don’t try and persuade you to go for a small number and more basic package, which would effectively remove your right to claim frustration). It’s also in their interests to potentially free up the date for a last minute couple if the rules then permit 20 guests so they might agree to frustration earlier?
    We’re in a similar position in that our venue is already expensive enough for our original 100 guest list, so reducing it to 15/20 guests (if that’s even permitted in May!) just does not make any sense and would also be quite sad as it’s such a big venue. We’re leaning towards postponing the big party at our venue to next year and having a small ceremony somewhere else this May. Is this an option you’d consider (and still have the big party at your current venue thereby maintaining the contract etc)?
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  • Will
    Newbie Groom May 2021 Greater Manchester
    Will ·
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    Thanks for your reply, we signed in before the pandemic so are safe in that respect. Your suggestion of being blindly optimistic is probably what we have to do but its a balancing act between doing that and also not incurring any other non refundable type costs, even restricting planning meetings to be as a quick as possible. I do not see any chance with the current vaccination schedule/possibility of variants etc. that a non socially distanced full on celebration will occur in May this year, maybe not even at all this year who knows. I kind of hope common sense will prevail and they will realise our situation and we settle on a sum for their time spent but it doesn't help anyone having to play out the act for 3-4 months! We don't have any animosity towards the venue as it is noone's fault and understandable tougher on their lives than on ours but it just feels very bizarre to have to do this.

    Postponement would have been an option however they sent out the mass email to all their April/May couples and within hours all the 2022 dates had gone. Postponing celebration for 2 years is just simply not an option in our eyes mostly in light of knowing we would have this mass expense during the uncertain enough times.

    Hopefully you guys get the wedding you want, I guess the overall lesson in life is the bigger the expense the bigger the risk even if it was totally unforeseeable.

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  • PhotographybyBillHaddon
    Dedicated Groom January 3000 Leicestershire
    PhotographybyBillHaddon ·
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    Bigger more expensive venues may not even want to go ahead themselves with a wedding reduced from a 100 guest one to a 15/30 one. Its simply not worth unfurling staff, so as soon as its definite that it has to be 15/30 they could be contacting you.

    I think you are right about the elephant in the room.

    Yes Ian, you know its not happening - they know its not happening it makes sense to come to an arrangement. If they did and are happy to do a 15/30 wedding then the sooner the better so they can start advertising your date.


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  • H
    Newbie Bride May 2021 Oxfordshire
    Helen ·
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    I am trying to stay positive but the vaccine is slow to come out and even then it will be weeks before we see things start to settle. I have spoken to my fiancé and these are our options
    1) go ahead in May with whatever numbers we are allowed
    2) have a small wedding in May and big party next year3) postpone until October this year (even writing this makes me feel sad 😔)
    Xx
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  • C
    Newbie Bride June 2021 South West London
    Charlotte ·
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    Our wedding is 12th of June 2021. We were only planning on having about 70 day guests and we do think we could get it down to 30 but 15 is a massive push for us. Our venue is very expensive so I don’t really think it’s worth, it’s such a shame! I have had three nights in the last week where I’ve been up all night trying to decide what is best to do and I’m up again tonight! I think we have decided that it’s not worth the stress and we are gonna try and change venue to something smaller, possibly even registry office and then do a party on our first anniversary - if 2022 allows!!
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  • H
    Newbie Bride May 2021 Oxfordshire
    Helen ·
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    So our full story is we booked to get married on a cruise in Italy in October 2020 then Covid hit and we knew it wouldn’t happen so we changed to November and a uk large venue. This then also was not happening so we moved to the same large venue for 15th May 2021. Our numbers were originally 120 but we realised we would be lucky for 30 which would seem so weird in a massive venue so we changed to a stunning small venue and moved dates to 28th may 2021. I am hoping weddings can go ahead with 30 by then. If they don’t we will either get married if we can with numbers we can and have a massive party next summer, or postpone again to late this year but this would be wedding number 5 and to be honest I am losing my excitement every time we change xx
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  • C
    Newbie Bride August 2023 Florida
    Carol ·
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    Oh wow, there are so many! Good luck on your wedding day ladies!

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  • Louise
    Newbie Bride September 2021 East Sussex
    Louise ·
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    We had our 3rd date booked for May this year but have already asked out venue if we can pencil in a date for later in the year as we don't think it will go ahead without restrictions. There are lots of people postponing so dates with suppliers were getting booked up fast.

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  • Louise
    Newbie Bride September 2021 East Sussex
    Louise ·
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    We had our 3rd date booked for May this year but have already asked out venue if we can pencil in a date for later in the year as we don't think it will go ahead without restrictions. There are lots of people postponing so dates with suppliers were getting booked up fast.

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  • S
    Newbie Bride
    SunnyGoldHair95974 ·
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    I'm also a May 2021 bride (17th) postponed from November 2020. We decided in the end for November to go ahead with the 15 and no evening reception and go straight to our mini moon but with lockdown 2.0 it got cancelled 2 weeks before. When we postponed to May we were really hopeful we may have close to the day we had originally booked (40 day and an extra 20 evening) and I am really hoping for at least 30 for May, the issue with 15 is we have 14 of us just immediate family so I had to uninvite my 2 best friend bridesmaids (I couldn't choose between them) and I really dont want to have to do it again. We have kept the new date very quiet as dont want to have to uninvite people again but we dont know when to send new save the dates out or to how many people it's so hard
    I think we are going to wait until march and reassess but I am hoping they may release more of a roadmap come march time as to how restrictions are going to lift as even in the last 3 tier system weddings were only 15 in every tier
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  • H
    Newbie Bride May 2021 Oxfordshire
    Helen ·
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    I feel really despondent 😭 I can’t see any weddings going ahead with more than 15 in May - why the number 15?! I have looked and looked at the guest list and our family alone is 22 not to mention two registrars and a photographer would be a luxury now! I tried to book a new provisional date in for October last week and the venue are only checking emails once a week and not taking calls so by the time they got to my email all September October November Fridays and Saturdays are booked. If it’s postponed again I am in two minds to go ahead at all - don’t get me wrong I want to get married but all my excitement is used up on the previous four attempts 😔


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  • StarfishMoon
    Newbie Bride May 2022 Surrey
    StarfishMoon ·
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    I was just reading this thread and my heart goes out to you all. It’s just awful. Sending you all love and light. Let’s hope a road map comes soon x
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