Anybody NOT having readings at their civil ceremony?

We didn't have any reading at our civil ceremony. I'd never come across a reading that made me think "oh i love that" so I didn't see the point as it would have just been a "filler" and having it for the sake of it. I think our ceremony was really personal and I don't think the lack of readings affected that in any way.

I'm kind of in the same boat as you. I am having my lovely meeting with the registrars in a few weeks so I have some time to think about whether or not I would like readings.. etc. I just don't know. Because while I love the idea of it, in practise it probably wouldn't feel right at all. I don't know who else could do a reading for us. Not sure if there's anything more I would like to say.. I don't want it to be cheesy or anything.. I just don't know..!

We are having readings for a few reasons. Firstly I wanted to make the ceremony last as long as possible, rather than being a pop-down-to-the-register-office job... fine if that's what you want of course, but we had to take 12pm rather than our preferred time of 3pm and didn't want people to feel they'd travelled over to the ceremony venue for just 15 minutes and then back again. Secondly it meant we could have some important people playing a role in our day, by doing the readings. Thirdly, we just felt they would make a nice addition!

If you don't have any readings there won't be any 'problem' with it that I can see, but it is your moment and the legal vows are very short. Will you be doing additional vows on top of the bare legal minimum?

We aren't having any readings - it would feel a bit like a funeral to me, (personal opinion only!) and I've never read anything that has made me think 'ooh that sums us up nicely' so it would feel a bit forced.

WSS!

we didn't and it was lovely! - just reminds me of funerals! and couldn't find anything that made me think WOW..!

ceremony was fine without it x

We're having two from the list supplied by the register office.

Firstly, a modified and shortened version of "I will be here" by Stephen Curtis Chapman which we are using as additional vows to each other, as it kinda says what we feel (plus he's actually a Christian singer songwriter primarily so it's a nice subtle way of getting round the silly "nothing religious" rule).

Secondly, a freind is going to read "Thank you, my soul mate" as it mentions the internet which is of course how we met, so it seems appropriate.

After that, once we move to our blessing after the registrars have left, we've got a Bible reading too, so the whole thing will probably be about 45 minutes making it feel more like the church service we could have had if we had done things a different way.

Too much? Perhaps, for some. Problem? Not at all, it's our day, and I'm sure our guests will cope with it.

We didn't have any and the majority of Civil Ceremonies I go to don't either.

When I booked with registrar she told me to think of readings etc we would like to put in because she said its over so quickly this way you get to stop and take on board what is happening whilst someone is doing a reading!

Im having one of my bridesmaids who I have been friends with since i was 16 (il be 30 when we marry) doing a reading but only because it actually means something to me and h2b!

I think if you dont have them its fine - its your day have what you want!

xx

I'm actually quite surprised and shocked that people are dropping readings from civil ceremonies - to me that just relegates it to a "legal transaction" rather than all the things that a ceremony can contain.

Each to their own I guess - but we're certainly going to keep our readings as planned even though it seems that most people are dropping them.

I kind of agree with this and I'm surprised that most people don't seem to be having them. I've never been to a wedding without them though so it's hard for me to tell what it would be like. I'll definitely be having them and have a few in mind already. I just think it makes it more personal for someone to read a piece that we've chosen and that means something to us. We'll probably ask the bridesmaids to do them.

I also agree with the earlier comment about the length of a civil ceremony that doesn't contain any readings.

But each to their own & I wouldn't see the point on including them just for the sake of it either.

It would make it feel very "non special" to me, and as others have said, very very short - given that it's the biggest day of your lives surely you want to make the most of the key part - the actual marriage ceremony?

Of course, the legal bits are indeed the key part as without it you aren't married, but I want to make the most of our big day and we're gonna milk that bit for all it's worth. The 'partying' aspect to us is secondary.

However, whether you have readings or not, you are still married exactly the same at the end of it

We don't plan too either. I've read some before and they just don't mean anything to me so I would rather just keep it simple. x

I wasn't planning to until I read one that made me all teary, so I petitioned the OH to be allowed it.

Thanks all, it is lovely to hear all the varied opinions as usual. I love hitched.

Me and OH had another chat and weirdly he has come round to my way of thinking (more inclined to we should/could) and I have gone to his way (nothing except vows) so we are back at square one!

We have said we will keep an eye out for anything we like, but in the meantime leave it at no readings. If we are not allowed to word our own vows (apparently it depends on the registrar???) then we may consider writing something to read out to each other, or to get someone else to say.

Everything I have found seems OTT or schmaltzy, or else massively inappropriate and so impersonal for me and OH.

Also considering the people who we would potentially ask is important in the type of reading we would ask of them. We are having a mix of religious family who would probably feel badly if God was not mentioned, gay and lesbian friends and family so seems inappropriate to ask them to do 'one man one woman' type wordings, OHs parents are divorced and on bad terms, plenty of aunts/uncles who are seperated and so on and so none of the 'traditional' marriage advice/true love type readings seem to work.

I am all for doing things our own way, but equally we don't want anything to seem hypocritical and/or make our guests or speakers feel uncomfortable.

I am not worried about the length of the ceremony, for me the only moments that really count will be when we say 'I do' and we sign the register. It will still be the most important moment of our lives be it 5 minutes, 15, or 50. I personally cannot wait to do the formalities and then spend time with my new husband and the people who have made the effort to turn up for those minutes!

I think it depends though, for those having a separate ceremony venue and breakfast/reception venue I can understand the need to draw-out the ceremony. However, a lot of people are having everything in one place, so no real need to draw it out at all as people will not have to rush off anywhere afterwards. That said, the only church wedding I have been to as an adult was about an hour long and it was so boring, I almost cried. I'm not saying every church wedding is boring, but sitting on a hard bench for an hour not being able to speak or get up and walk around after a 2-hour car journey was the worst part of the day for me on that particular occasion. In all fairness, if it had been nice readings from family members or the couple themselves instead of the vicar reading from the Bible and telling us stories of a couple he once knew who married and stayed together for millions of years despite all sorts of stuff... it would have been a nicer experience.

I'm in two minds. I want to say something extra to OH but I want it to be a surprise. Not quite sure how I am going to go about keeping it from him when he will have to be at the meeting with the registrar when we go through all the readings, etc. But that may have to be something I ask you lot at some point.

You can have your "interviews on the day" together, or separately, you can choose. We're having ours separately because I'm not allowed to see her dress until she arrives by my side at the front of the room, apparently.

We'll be going to a meeting with the registrar a couple of weeks before the wedding to discuss vows and extra readings so they can put it all in their "notes" I guess. On the day, as we are having an outside wedding with no rooms, the registrars will be coming to our rooms separately to confirm all the details before they head down to the ceremony location in the gardens. It might be at this time that I will let the registrar know that I am planning on doing a reading of my own as a surprise for OH.

I have never known the couple to be seen together on the actual Wedding Day? You only see the Registrars to confirm your details on the day.

WSS, , , totally

xx

To be honest... its not something we've discussed! (yet!)

I had a reading on my 1st Wedding (in a church), that was done very well. This time around, I don't know.

I do take on the comments about stretching it out - I don't really want to shuffle in, say a few things, sign some paperwork and shuffle out..
But for me at least, the day is the sum of the parts, so all aspects come together. If we didn't have readings, we'd have more time for other things.

I've got a rare weekend off, so apart from relaxing with Carmen, we're also on our "wedding stuff"!

Neither have I, but I'm looking at our planning sheet from Hampshire register office right now and "Would you like to have your pre-marriage interview separately / together (see note 13)" is on the form, and it goes into great detail on a separate sheet as to how long it takes etc.

I suppose some couples aren't that bothered about "not seeing the bride before the ceremony" but as difficult and frustrating it is for me, I will wait until she shuffles up beside me to see what her dress looks like. I am, however, assured that it does not have any mechanical butterflies.