Anyone else feeling like...

I've been planning for over a year now...I've got to the point where either people can like it or lump it! Unfortunately weddings seem to bring out an evil streak in people, my h2b's usher told us that we couldn't get married in May because his birthday was in May....

it's your day and it's going to cost you a helluva lot of money. Be strong and stick with what you want. You'll regret it if you don't.

Practice saying this: "I'm sorry you feel that way, but that's what we, as a couple, have chosen for our wedding day because it means something special to us."

or, be sneaky, and claim you're keeping everything as big surprise for the day, and don't tell anyone what you're planning! Then they can't argue :0)

Here's the thing --- when my fiancé and I tried to please everyone else we were upset and stressed ! Grab it by the balls - it's your wedding !!!! Do it how you want. Xxx

That's a shame you tried to please your guests, back in 2012 I would've told you to just go with whatever you wanted, fruitcake is frankly disgusting lol You shouldn't please anyone else but yourselves not because you should be selfish or anything, it's just because whatever you choose there will always be at least one person who doesn't like it, so even now you've gone fruitcake, you don't like it, there will be some guests who still don't like it. So if you do whatever you want at least you can guarantee that two people in the room will like it. From here on out forget other people's input and do the rest of it your way!

Sounds like a really stressful situation! I can understand why you are upset - and this should be a really happy time!!

The advice on here is right - it's your day and should be what you want. I can't believe they are saying other people won't like certain aspects - if it's something you like and reflects you everyone will love it!

I think you will have to put your foot down and show some tough love - or just tell people you are keeping your plans to yourselves so it's a surprise for everyone. Have you ever been to a wedding where a guest's day was ruined by the theme?! Everyone will just be happy to see you tie the knot and help you celebrate! So what if you do it with chocolate cake instead of fruitcake! (We're greedy and having both! ) x

It's YOUR wedding so do it YOUR way otherwise afterwards you'll be forever on the "OM's What is your biggest regret" thread!

Sod everyone else.

Its your wedding, the choices should be made by you and your OH. If you try to please everyone you will end up with a wedding you didn't want. When we began planning in 2012 (got engaged in 2011) we wanted something small, then families starting saying what they wanted "HAVE to have fruitcake", "I'm buying the flower girl dresses" who said we were having flower girls?! It was all decided for us. We ended up planning something two years in advance and massive. We both kind of went along with it until we both realised we hated the sound of it.

So we planned something 7weeks in advance, was very small and just what we wanted. When we told people a lot said "you can't do that, you can't have it there, we will do this etc" and we just said no. It most certainly didn't please everyone but they all enjoyed themselves on the day. I loved my wedding day in the end.
Its one day, just do what you want, don't look back and regret something.

Ps you don't sound bratty either - we couldn't have pleased anyone unless we exactly recreated PILs wedding, so don't get yourself upset or stressed.

I know how you feel. I think there's a difference between compromising on things so your guests have a nice time and totally bending on everyone else's opinion. If it's people you trust and value their opinion, then ask them and take it on board. For anyone else, ignore it and if there's anything you're set on having, don't tell people, just be vague if they ask you, they won't moan about the little details on the day. Everyone has an opinion on what makes a good wedding and I think in a weird way they think it's helpful, try not to let it get you down

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time of it

I knew my mum would have a few things to say - especially about themes - so I started it without her, and once I"d got enough bits together I showed her and she was surprisingly OK with it.

I think often people are trying to help - even though it isn't very helpful. And echoing what others have said: it's your day, and it should reflect the two of you first and foremost. Yes, by all means take into account travel times, locations etc for general convenience of guests, but don't feel you have to take on every person's suggestions

Good luck x

Just repeating what everyone else is saying -it's your wedding day so whether 'nobody would like' the theme it doesn't matter because you and your hubby would. Weddings really do bring out peoples demanding sides. I think if you try to hard to please very on else your going to stress yourself out and end up with a wedding day that feels completely alien to you. You don't want to look back and think I wish we had just done what we wanted.

ive had so many similar things be said by family members..the one that really takes the biscuit is when we were deciding on a date - a certain family member really pushed for a specific date , which wasn't one of our choices, because of guests they wanted to invite to the day only being available that weekend. I really had to grit my teeth and accept that one, and now that we have sent the invites out - turns out said bloody guests can't frickin make it!!!!!! So I look back and wonder why I bothered lol

honestly just do what you want! You and your h2b are the ones that matter.

You do what you, as a couple, want to do! It's your day, the people attending are your guests and none of it should matter, just being there to support you and share your day is what is important.

I learnt to say no from the start. OH Dad comes out with lots of ideas and 'what you should do' but I know exactly how I want things and how it should look, so I just politely say, 'yes that sounds like a good idea but' and then explain what I'm actually going to do/have.

We've only been planning a few months and we are both of the mind set of if you don't like what we are doing you don't have to come. The people closest to us know what we have chosen to do fits us. Don't get me wrong people still give their "2 cents" worth, and say ..."you've got to do (insert their idea)...." when people say that to me I say "...who says i've got too?". I know it's hard to try and please everyone, but it is a lot more freeing to go with what you both want, and no matter what you decide to do, people will enjo themselves regardless, and if they don't, as long as you and your H2B do, surely that's all that matters.

Eer it's YOUR Wedding day, do what you want, not what everyone else wants. Ignore them!

Same thing has happened to me!!

Its your day you need to be happy with it, no one else needs to be.

One thing I've learned is that you can't please everyone so don't try! It was my sisters dream to marry in Rome but when some people started saying it was a selfish decision, too expensive, she changed her mind and got married here...and has regretted it ever since.

So long as you & OH are happy then that's all that matters...it's your day, it's you who will look back at the photos for years to come, replay the DVD etc.

Its so tempting to try and please people and admittedly I'm the worst people pleaser but when it comes to our wedding it's our choice only

xx

I kind of feel a little bit like I'd rather not divulge our ideas, because that way no one can disagree. But then we're in the very early stages so not much has really been planned or arranged yet....

I'd rather keep schtum than have someone moan at me to be honest!

Mustard_mitt - my thoughts exactly! There'll always be one who doesn't like something......but if you haven't got something nice to say, and all that! xx

It's IMPOSSIBLE to please everyone but if you can please yourself and H2B that's a good start! Everyone will be a critic but it's YOUR wedding, and we only ever intend to do it once!

As for cake, we're having three tier - one lemon, one chocolate (my favourite) and a tiny traditional fruit cake (bought from a supermarket) on top purely to take the weight of our topper, I doubt it'll get eaten (bleugh!).

My dad is my worst critic, we rowed over all my choices so in the end I only discussed the things that he was paying for and everything else is none of his business! There are a lot of things about our wedding that are VERY non traditional and a lot of people just won't 'get it' but we do, so that's all that matters.

On the day no one will really care, they'll all be too busy having a good time so chin up and go for it!

x

I do worry a bit about my guests. Things like picking a range of music that everyone will like I think is quite important unless you are known for loving a certain type of music.

I wouldn't go to a metalers wedding and expect to be dancing to spicegirls.

When it comes to the rest though, I just keep reminding myself that it is like I am planning my most awesome party. If I went to a party, what would I want there?

Would I love it if there was a photobooth - yes i would! Would I avoid the fruit cake? Yes I would! Maybe no one will use the spa slippers, but I probably will!

My family dont really think that home decorated jars will be as pretty as a bought centrepiece but I think it'll look pretty enough and it's a money saver.

It's personal preference, and at your own wedding, your and your other halfs preference is what counts.