Anyone else having NO guests?!

Your wedding sounds perfect, in a way i wish i was doing the same thing. Don't worry about other people and what they say as long as you and your H2B are happy then that's all that matters.

Who are you having for witnesses?

It can be anyone(adult), although have you considered this?

Welcome to the forum btw

Peter

We're not, but that sounds perfect! I really wanted to elope but OH wanted a local wedding. We have compromised by just having close friends and family, an intimate wedding. My family made my life hell before my first wedding, and I would have loved to just get married without having to worry about them!

We went to Jamaica to get married in November 2013, just the two of us & it was perfect as Im sure your day will be as well. I wouldnt have had it any other way.

I get the impression this is what you're trying to avoid?

Yes ... we are kind of ... we're having a humanist ceremony abroad and have friends and family coming to that - that's the 'wedding' bit. However, we can't legally get married in Spain because we're not Catholic, but we weren't going to let that put a stop to our dream wedding, so we're stopping off at the registry office on the way to the airport. We're going to grab some witnesses off the street. We've not mentioned it to family etc, I think most people don't realise that what we're doing in Spain isn't legally binding. However we mentioned to some friends the other day and was quite surprised by the hostile reaction we got from them that they weren't involved in that legal bit - which will last 10 minutes in a scuzzy office, we're not getting dressed up, we've asked not to do vows or rings... we're going to stand up in front of everyone in Spain to make our lifelong promises! It really surprised me, these people who threw a strop are all coming to Spain (and have roles in the wedding - speeches, readings etc)

I'm so sorry - I've completely turned this around to all about me!

I think it's a very brave and admirable thing you're doing, recognising that what you want is a wedding that's just about the two of you. Most would wish they could do it but wouldn't have the guts. You stand your ground and make the most important day of your life exactly as YOU want it. ?

We are doing similar we have got my bridesmaids coming with us (so a total of 4 'guests') and are going to Poole to get married (we live down south!)

Nobody knows what we are doing, or that we have booked the venue, we are going to give notice next month and I already have my dress, the tog, flowers and our cake sorted with deposits taken.

Im currently looking at rings etc. and I have already arranged accommodation for us and those coming with us, a meal for after the ceremony and a champagne reception on a balcony over looking the harbour! It suits us perfectly and I have had ZERO stress, which I find absolutely amazing.

We wont be telling anybody until we get back, once its done, and then we will have a party after our honeymoon (to Cornwall).

I hope everyone settles down having a moan about it for you hun, that's why we've ended up going the easy (cowards?) route of waiting until after, then they can whinge until they are blue in the face and it wont make a slight bit of difference! xx

Hi,

Congratulations on your wedding in June.

We are also getting married without guests. We have booked our wedding for Barbados next year, and the hotel is providing the witnesses. So far I have only told a couple of people that its booked. Reason being, that when we told our family and friends that we were going to get married in Barbados ALONE, they were horrified. The ones who could not afford to come, demanded we have a wedding party when we returned (and were disgusted when I said that we were not going to do that), and the ones who could afford to come, were upset that they could not attend. Even going as far as to further question could they come, even when I said NO.

This upsets because I do not want any negativity surrounding my wedding, and it is shocking how judgemental people can be about your wedding.

I have decided to not let those spoil my plans, as I understand they are just upset that they can not be involved. However I think its unfair for others to assume you can only have the best wedding with all your family and friends there.

Don't worry about what others think, I am sure there are hundreds of couples who have done it alone, and don't regret others reactions at all. If they love you they will just have to accept it.

What matters most, is that you are happy.

Thanks all, reassuring to hear that we aren't entirely alone!

We haven't ruled out having a small party at home at a later point but tbh we aren't that keen. We have been quoted £3-£4k to have a hog roast/bbq and basic marquee at home and I think I'll begrudge paying it tbh just to keep people happy. But we may still do it.

The thing that has most made me angry is that one of my family members had told me that if we had been going abroad as we originally thought, that would have been ok - but going away on our own in England is not. We are travelling over 4 hours to the Lake District so hardly down the road, so I don't see that not leaving the UK can be at all relevant lol.

My whole family has always been very anti-wedding, my parents had a small wedding and are now divorced and we did not even have wedding photos in the house as a child when they were married so I think it is a bit rich. My mum won't go to anything that my step mum is at - and I am equally close to her as to my mum so that is not an option. My OH's parents are divorced and his mother lives abroad and has not been back to the UK for 25 years so can't see that meeting being a barrell of laughs either.....

Our view was that a small wedding would be terrible as it would force people that hate each other to be close for the day - if we had the money to invite 200 people to the day (which we would hate anyway) then that would be easier - but not at all what we want.

Also, my dad gave me a large sum of money for a house deposit when I was 22 so I was fortunate enough to buy a house when I was very young which has been a great investment. He always made me understand that this would be instead of a wedding which I totally understood and am really grateful for as put me years ahead of my peers! Far better than a big dress and a church full of aunties IMHO (not knocking anyone who chooses differently - this is just my view!). Howver now, apparently, my dad is upset and not giving me away! I am nearly 36 for God's sake and I don't want to be given away by anyone!

So on balance this is the best thing for us - I guess I would just prefer it if I didn't think I was being talked about by everyone - friends and family. Sigh :/ I worry people won't see our wedding as being as "real".

I think lots of couples decide to go for a 'runaway' option to be honest, when I first started looking into it there were loads of packages to look at - as we didn't have a location in mind, just the UK! in the end we didn't go for a package but that is just because I wanted everything to be how we liked, not how it should be on paper to them!

As for people not thinking its real, they will all get over it in time, and then youll be no less married than any other couple, and youll have photos to show to your nearest and dearest.

As for the party, that is madness! £4000 for a party?! that's more than my wedding budget! lol, ill be throwing a smaller affair, buffet, disco etc in a local hall, just to keep everyone sweet. Havnt decided exactly when though as im still considering doing it for our 1st anniversary - with a blessing - which would give us a lot more time to focus on the planning of it! xx

That has been superceded in many instances. The bit where the minister says, "Who gives this woman to be wed" has fallen slightly out of fashion. Quite often these days, the dad or representative simply walks down the aisle with the bride and then sits down....

Not that that answers your situation.........

Peter

In answer to the thread title...

I WISH! (most of the time!)

We're having a small wedding but with 20 guests, figured it better to have just our close family with us. Will have more evening guests, some friends etc but didn't want a big wedding.
Your wedding sounds great and will be very special with just the both of you

I think it sounds fantastic. You're getting married & that's what it's all about at the end of the day, not the big party.

There was another bride on here who did a similar thing a while ago except I think she did a town hall thing & grabbed a couple of witnessess off the street!

It wouldn't be for me but then I'm a complete drama queen (according to my sister!) But if its what you want and your idea of a dream wedding, then let everyone else think and say what they like! I wish you both a very happy wedding xx

We are only having 15 guests to the ceremony but after reading your post it probably would have been easier just having the two of us.
It's sounds like very little stress and about the two of you and nobody else...in a word -PERFECT

I was just looking through wedding forums without guests as myself and OH are looking at doing the same and stumbled across your post (apologies that I have sent this a long time after originally sent)!

Having been thoroughly fed up with sorting out numbers, and the stress, we actually dont want any fuss so would prefer to go for the runaway option instead.

I am keen to go for the Lake District option as well, if you could give any recommendations?

That's right, but i mostly have seen/ heard "who brings this woman to be wed"

In most cases I think you are first asked for your preference on the wording here.

EDIT --- just realized that this is an old thread but the wording advice still stands

If I could this would be exactly what I would love to do. Unfortunately the drama that would come with it if we didn't invite parents and other relatives would be too much to live with. I hate the pressure surrounding a wedding. It very much is about pleasing other people which I begrudge. I'd love to just go away me and my partner and get married just us and the kids being there.

A lot of pairs choose to have no guests, because think that it's their own day! And I think it's a nice idea, why not?! It's your choise and you should feel comfy!))