Anyone else not having a "blow out" hen do?

Im going out with about 5 friends next week for a drink and thats it. Nothing mad or crazy just us girls having a dance and a drink.

I don't drink at all and have anxiety attacks in clubs or bars. My MOH is organising my hen do but she knows all about what I like and what I don't and I think she is planning something along the lines of booking a cottage with friends starting on the friday night, having a meal in as everyone gets there, Saturday we'll do some sort of activity followed perhaps by a meal out and then silly games/pampering back at the cottage. You're not the only one not wanting a blow out and don't let others push you into something you don't want. It's your hen do!

I am having a three course meal at a hotel followed by a show and then a disco all in the hotel's wedding function room.. The show is a 'male dance act' though so perhaps not as classy as it first sounds. However I hate clubs and for me this is a happy medium of civilisation and tacky hen party.

Me and a few friends are staying over at the hotel and using the spa the next day, others are just coming for the evening (£30 each) and then heading home. I have about 30 people coming and didn't want to exclude people because they can't afford a spa day. So this was a win win situation.

I'm not. I am having 5 close friends and going to dinner with cocktails, then to a musical, then to a bar for a drink before bed! Girls fromwork have said they will meet us after the show and make a night of it. I'll probably have a couple of drinks with them but then be tired and want to call it a day. I hate being very drunk and I hate hangovers. Now I'm that bit older mine last 2 days!! I may well have an afternoon tea do for Mum and an aunt as well. All low key but fun. No full weekend stuff or going abroad for me.

I'm having nothing at all. Can't be arsd with it!

I'm having nothing at all. Can't be arsd with it!

Nothing sounds worse to me than going out clubbing, getting wasted, making an utter fool of myself, and then being unable to move the next day. Not me!

So we're doing a trip where we will have spa days, see a couple shows, and yes- drink, but not to excess. It all about fun, not being stupid Even if you're not planning the whole thing, it's your hen do, and what you say goes!

I'm not having anything too flash. Just 11 of us for cream tea and river cruise then drinks in a bar with hen games. Then a limo to a restaurant where 5 more will join us for dinner.

I'm not, I can't stand all that veil with condoms stuck to it then groping some strange man who is gyrating in my face - yuk! I used to go out binge drinking all the time but the last three years since I had my son I can barely handle my drink and get the most terrible hangovers. But because my moh and friends are used to seeing me get totally wasted and out of control they are having a hard believing I don't want to do that for my hen do. I have so far suggested dinner, comedy store and then a drink or two after. That to me is so much more fun than getting drunk!

I'm not either, just going out for a nice meal and a drink and that's it!

You just have to tell your sister what you think and not let her force the whole overrated hen night on you!

In the end it's all about you

I know exactly how you feel, so I am having a compromise. During the day we are having a spa day (not an expensive one, just a couple of treatments, pool and sauna) with a glass of bubbles which I will love just me and the maids.

Then in the evening we are going out for a bar meal and drinks so I think they may take revenge on my quiet day then.

The venue where we are getting married does theme nights, with dinner & dancing, I think that might be good! Then, like you say, people who can't afford to do the spa day & stay over can head home (hotel is fairly local) and share taxi's and I still get my spa day the following day! I think I just need to sit my sister down and tell her I hate being made to look like an idiot, whether it's in jest or not, and I do not want to get rat arsed! She's going to think I'm boring but I really don't care, #rebellious bride-to-be!! ?

Oh I love that I'm not the only one!!!

Im having the Friday off of work and going to a local salon with my BMs for manicures and pedicures, off fo some lunch, maybe a cocktail and then home. I may have a "sleepover" at my mums with my three sisters, to make it feel more like a weekend than just heading home to clean haha

My official hen night is the saturday. Which will begin with a nice long lie, some breakfast and then some pampering myself -bath, washing hair etc. Heading out with my BMs, mum, FMIL, cousin and godmother for dinner and drinks and then my CBM has organised a private party in a local hall (mainly cos I didn't want a wild night, but also so my 12 year old sister who is a BM can attend) we have hired a DJ and mum is doing some food.

It is my ideal hen do and I cannot wait, I will be wearing the veil and L plates though, just for a giggle, but i despise the thought of being dragged through bars in strange towns, getting legless and seeing a stripper, so tacky!!!

x

As far as I know mine is going to be a weekend at home with the girls. I'm not sure on exact details but have a vague inkling that its all taking place at my MoH's house and involves some films and drinking etc. No big night out for me, would rather stay in which is just perfect as far as i'm concerned.

Same here, ladies. I quite fancy the idea of a chilled out day in a spa followed by dinner and cocktails and no hangover the following day!! I imagine I'll just have a few of my closest family/friends to the spa and more friends for the dinner and drinks.

I'm so happy to hear I'm not the only one!

I might have a night out with my workmates (all serious drinkers) but I'll duck out early and leave them to it.

As for my proper hen do (and I really hate that term, so I'm going to have to think of something else to call it!), I'm hoping for a spa day with my sister and bridesmaids and any other girlfriends who want to join us. Two of my closest friends are Muslim, so though they love to party, it's not about booze for them. And clubs are such a drag if you don't like being stared at and groped by nasty men.

Nope, i think we'll have a quiet, pampering one

I love this thread! I was worried I'd be considered a bit boring if I went for spa treatments, meal and drinks, but that's exactly what I'm going to do now! I know it won't be exciting enough for some of my friends, but sod it. I hate nightclubs, so a pampering, indulgent day it will be!

I won't be. I rarely drink and can't be doing with loud noises and endless shrieking! I'm thinking of a nice meal somewhere followed by a few drinks somewhere not to busy or noisy!

Night out clubbing is my idea of hell these days. We're looking at a weekend houseparty away in the country, possibly some pampering too. I expect my BM's will arrange a few little tacky bits which I don't mind so long as it doesn't cross the line too much.

I've had a few ideas that aren't based around L-plates and alcohol, but all of my favoured ideas are really expensive and I don't feel I can ask my friends to fork out for a party for me! The first idea - my favourite - was jousting, but even 2 of my bridemaids didn't think they'd be able to afford it, so I'm saving that one for my 30th! (Or other special birthday if I don't get round to it next year).

Now I'm thinking we'll get dolled up fifties style, do a 'make your own fascinator' workshop (with cake and bubble provided), go out for dinner in full attire (incl. our new headpieces) and then go on for cocktails. This way, those that just want to meet up for a drink can come out for cocktails, family member will probably just do dinner (and maybe fascinator making) and the hard core ones can do the lot, but it'll still only cost £30 for the workshop plus meal plus cocktails, so everyone can spend as much as the want to / can afford.

I don't mind the slight tackyness / hen games, but I won't be venturing into any clubs with sticky floors, ta very much!

Do you know what? I think more of my friends will go for a Spa weekend than a big blow out!!! I've been thinking about it and a few of them will have had kids by then and would probably love a full day of not having to look after anyone and 110% relaxation! My sister might not like that she can't take me out and embarass me but I think even she would secretly prefer a spa day.

Can't wait to organise it!

My hens are busy planning mine for me, and I am hoping for something simple and low key.

I would be quite happy with a day out at Thorpe Park, or a night out locally in Oxford with a few cocktails and a meal.

No clubbing here either. I'm not sure what we're doing as my bridesmaids are organising it (can't believe I'm saying that, control freak that I am!) but we had a chat about options and it's likely to be hotel/cottage, an activity (possibly a dance lesson), cocktails somewhere and maybe afternoon tea or something.

I'm also having a night out where friends from work and my mum can come. A local bar/function room is arranging a tribute act (or similar) for us and we'll have a carvery and drinks.

Best man is coming to have spa treatments with me a couple of days before the wedding too.