Anyone else worried about what they're going to wear?

Have you tried Tkmaxx? they have an online bridal boutique http://www.tkmaxx.com/wedding-boutique/icat/2

Obviously read the T&Cs but most high street online stores do free delivery (for the amount you will be spending) and returns so nothing to lose by ordering online and sending it back if you don't like it in person or if you need a different size.

First of all you need to stop thinking that you won't look good in anything. I know how you feel cos I am in plus sizes too, in fact I am bigger than you so shhhht ?

Don't listen to your mum, you need to find something gorgeous that you like and try it on and when you find something you feel like a million dollars in it will show. I suspect you will find a long dress more flattering anyway, and my personal preference was to stay away from strapless but each to their own.

You will find dresses in your price range online and on the high street but if you are willing to pay up to £400 yourself what I suggest is that you look in sample sales in bridal shops. I had a dress from a range called Sonsie and it was by the designers Veromia. These plus size dresses are designed to flatter. They have incredible corsetry built in you honestly wouldn't believe it until you tried it on. Seriously, I got mine for £350 in a sample sale.

i know the way you're feeling right now the idea of going into a bridal shop and trying on does not sound like your idea of fun, but if you find a dress you love, trust me your confidence will soar and you will be excited.

They will be used to bigger girls than you coming in and trying on and their job is to make you feel amazing in the dress so dont panic.

Please don't get down about your size. In my opinion a lady of any size will look good in a wedding dress. As long as it fits properly it will look lovely.

I bought my dress in a wedding shops sale - it was off the rail and I took it home that day. You can get good prices that way.

Also I don't wish to be rude about your Mum - but in the end it's your day and if you want to wear a lovely wedding dress then I think you should.

Hi Josephine,

whether you are paying or your mum it's still up to you what you wear!

Why don't you try online, a lot of places will still accept returns even if bought on the Internet. I'd suggest looking by yourself first and picking out something you like, as long as you feel comfortable that's what matters most.

Also Have you tried debenhams, they do bridal in Reading and can be ordered online, they're quite reasonably priced and have some beautiful dresses.

really hope you find something you love!

Nicola x

Just a few pictures of some ladies in different styles - they all look gorgeous

Hi,

Well firstly can I just point out that being a size 20 does NOT make you look gross.. You are a bride, this is your wedding day and you will look absolutely beautiful.

I'm a size 18 and I understand how you must be feeling, I didn't want to set foot in a bridal shop as I knew they would have no samples dresses in my size to try on.. But eventually I went in on my own before taking my mum in and ended up finding a dress I loved. Ill be honest I didn't get the 'this is the one' feeling, but it's a beautiful dress and it flatters my shape and ill feel confident on my big day, and that's exactly how you deserve to feel.

This is possibly the biggest day of your life so far, and you deserve to feel every bit the blushing bride.

Have you looked on preloved? There will be so many dresses on there in your price range, other than that there is a shop in Birmingham which sells proper 'bridal' dresses in all sizes and they're straight from the rack so you don't need to order.

Hope this has been of some help xx

You need to stop being dictated by your mother & realise its YOUR wedding & you are an independant woman! Its very selfish that she has spent £300 on her dress & says you should spend less than £200 on yours!

BHS & Monsoon have dresses up to a size 22. I'd suggest going to a few bridal shops to find a style you like. Dont forget charity shops- British heart foundation, scope, oxfam, fara, red cross etc. Most of them have specialist wedding stores. They dont just sell 2nd hand stock, but also brand new shops close down & end of line things come in.

Whatever your size or shape, there is a style to suit you. I'd suggest going on your own or with a friend (not your mother!) to find it though.

Thanks for all your advice. I probably gave an unduly harsh picture of my mum, who was trying to be tactful and it's nice of her to offer to buy the dress, it is just a very sensitive subject and we don't see eye to eye. I have had a hell of a week and this is the last straw. I wouldnt want her to be a mother who was making an enormous fuss about the wedding, and I would never want to spend £1000 on a dress, (though i can see why people do as there are beautiful dresses out there), but I suppose I just want it to be a bit special.

Thanks for the tkmaxx ideas - i had never thought of there, and maybe i will see if i can try some on on my own/with a bridesmaid. It is definitely the hardest part of my wedding planning - I am total wreck about it.

Thanks again.

josephine

I'm not a skinny bride either - size 16-18 but I have been much bigger than that in the past. I was dreading trying on dresses as I've never felt confident with my size, but even if you don't go in to buy I'd recommend trying some on. They pull you in in all the right places and I'd never felt better about myself - it was a real confidence booster.

I'm not sure how common place they are, but there's a bridal factory outlet near me with hundreds of dresses that you can buy straight off the rail and they have some really good prices in there. If you have one of those near you I'd definitely try to get in to have a look and try some on - you might be pleasantly surprised! If you really want to keep the costs right down, have you had a look at the Simply Be Bridal boutique online? They don't have a lot in but have got a couple of really lovely dresses at about £100 (one in a pinky colour too). If you don't like what you order you can just pop it back into the post office for free returns too so it doesn't cost a penny.

Hi Josephine, I completely agree with what Teal said. This is your day and you should feel so special. And I like the idea of finding something on Pre-loved, they have loads of lovely items on there. Having said that, why not consider selling your dress after your day? That way, you could spend a bit more getting something you truly love, and recoup some of the money afterwards, meaning that you won't be being 'wasteful' as your mum puts it.

If you are worried about going into some bridal shops, why not give them a ring beforehand and talk through your concerns? They are the experts and should be able to either alleviate any concerns or suggest different ideas for you. It is their job to be helpful and if you find that they are rude? Well, just don't visit them - simples!

Another thing to consider (and I'm not trying to be rude honestly) is that you're still some way off of your wedding and there is time to lose a little bit of weight before-hand. You could literally drop a dress size in the time before your day - just think how amazing that would make you feel and how many more dress options would be available to you at a size eighteen? And if you lost only 1lb a week, that would still be over a stone before your big day, and it would put you on a really good path for your future. I'm only saying this as someone who has lost nearly two stone with Rosemary Conley recently. I live in Twyford, just round the corner from you, so if you need any advice, please let me know. And do let us know how you get on, M x

Hi Jospehine, please do not despair. You will look beautiful on your wedding day, no matter what. Remember, your partner loves you exactly how you look now.

I dont yet have any experience of bridal shops so unsure as to sizes they stock and order times so not really able to advise you on that score.

What I do know about it dieting. I have just rejoined Slimming World as I want to get from a size 18 to a size 12 for my wedding (I have 18 months to go). I did join SW 3 years ago when I was at the top end of a size 22. I joined in August and by Christmas day (about the same amount of time you have before your wedding) had lost 3 stones 1.5 lbs.

You could do this too if you really wanted to. I'd be happy to buddy up and help you. Although I was still an 18 I felt absolutely amazing and so much healthier. If you could do it at the same rate you could easily drop to a 16-18 and that might give you a bit more choice in dresses.

But even if you decide not to do anything and remain the same size there are lots of options available for you as all the ladies on here have been advising.

Please do not give up hope of finding 'the one'. You found your man, how hard can a dress be?!? x

I was a plus side bride, it didn't enter my mind that I might look gross on my wedding day.

I didn't have a traditional wedding gown, I wore a black and purple 1950's style tea length dress. They are very flattering for curvy gals.

You can get them in all sorts of colours and fabrics. Mine was £30 on ebay, and the best part is that I can wear it again and again.

I started looking for my dress really early on and with trepidation because at a size 22 I didn't think I'd find anything that fitted and looked nice; I was very wrong!

I'd definitely suggest going to at least a couple of bridal shops that stock plus sizes, Bride to Be and Village Brides (both in Reading) say on their websites they have samples in all sizes. If you can go further afield Daisy Love Bridal is near Windsor, it's a plus size bridal shop and I've heard good things about it.

Try on a few different styles which will give you an idea of what suits you and believe me with the corsetry in wedding dresses there will be some that not just suit you but make you look great! Having the corsetry and a lace up back really makes a difference to your shape which you don't get in normal dresses. Make a note of the names/numbers of any dresses you like and have a look on ebay and preloved for a second hand dress. Or look at what they've got in the sample sales in the shops you can sometimes get a bargain there. Bride to Be's website says they have a big sample sale today in fact!

I'm sure your Mum is just wanting to be careful with money but on your wedding day of all days it is important to feel that you look nice and if you want a proper wedding dress then you can get one without breaking the bank. My dress was £320 second hand but would have been £1000 new.

Ebony-Rose - I did not mean to imply all plus-size looked gross - i have seen lovely pictures of plus-sized brides, who look lovely. I showed a picture of a 50s style.dress to my mum that i was considering - she screwed up her nose and said it wouldn't suit me. I totally agree - that many plus-size brides look stunning on their wedding day. I just don't think I am going to be one of them!

Toptotty - do you recommend slimming world then? I have lost weight successfully by calorie counting before, so i thought i would do it that way, but wonder if a class would motivate me more. I dont have any friends in the town I live, unfortunately (I moved here 5 months ago, and 1 month later my partner had to move abroad) so have no-one to go to classes with. I am going to look at joining the gym as well - if i can get there a couple of times a week, it might make the difference.

Thank you for all the wedding dress suggestions. I dont know whether to leave it until i have lost some weight, or start trying on some now. I might try and go over to windosr next weekend to try on a couple of dresses. I may see if my bridesmaid can come with me.

Thanks to all you lovely brides for suggestions.

Josephine

I went into tk maxx the other week and the only wedding dresses they had were in a size 18-20. They had done lovely ones in there. There are plenty of dress shops that 'plus sizes' (and fwiw I hate the term plus size, sizes are sizes!) have a good look on tinterwebs, I'm sure you will find something.

its your weddind day, you deserve to have a dress that makes you feel special.

I think you should start looking now, if you decide you want to lose weight dresses can be taken in. Someone said previously that corsets and boning can work wonders and it's true.

Please don't be offended but I do think you should stop listening to your mum, or at least stop discussing dresses with her. It's really sad that you feel gross and your mum just seems to be putting you down and isn't being helpful. Take a good friend or bm with you, let the shop ladies suggest styles. You can buy the sample dresses straight from the shop nuch cheaper. You won't look gross, you deserve to look fabulous.

Hey to throw my bit in here too I know how you feel, I shot up to a size 18 after meeting my OH.... We are definitely feeders! I've just embarked on the Cambridge diet I've got 4.5 stones to loose ( my target not theirs), since Tuesday I've lost 9lbs, you don't have to calorie count because its done for you.

Even this 9lb lost has made me feel like I would go wedding dress shopping tomorrow, if you had asked me last week I wouldn't have even entertained the idea. I'm not suggesting go on a crazed diet but even this small weight loss has made me feel more confident and I'm enjoying having a little look on the web at dress ideas for the first time.

Would definitely recommend. Essentially, it's akin to a low fat diet. So there are no foods that you can't have but some of the recipes just need adapting. Plus, there's loads of free foods to eat so you never ever have to go hungry!

A group is a good idea, whichever diet you choose. It'll help you make friends in your area and give you the support you need to help you achieve your goal x

HI

I dont know where you are, but if you are anywhere near Basildon, I might be able to steer you to a place that might be able to help. They arent a supplier here so dont know if i can mention them, but its a not for profit organisation, who are sellign wedding dresses to raise moeny for a local charity - the dresses are new, but very reasonable.

Firstly don't listen to your mum about spending on a dress you will only wear once, it is your day and you are allowed to spoil yourself, secondly more than half the brides that get married are plus size, and there is one thing I have noticed looking at women in their wedding dress is that no matter what size they are they all look beautiful. So if you want one for £400 go for it, it is your wedding not your mums.

Hope you have an amazing day

Hi Josephine, I hope you are feeling a bit happier today? I've just been looking for dresses online and have come across Oak Tree Brides (based in Reading). they've got a lovely worn-once Benjamin Roberts dress in your size on sale for only £250! Hop on over to https://www.oaktreebrides.co.uk/sale-wedding-dresses and have a look! Let us know how you get on, M x

Josephine, I'm originally from Berkshire, and can recommend a couple of places.

My fried who married last year is plus size, and looked beautiful. Some pics of her here

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150661907064389.392956.181024974388&type=3

she got her dress from the wedding warehouse in Ascot, and also saw some she liked in Daisy Love, in Datchet.

hope that helps

Hiya, first off, no bride looks gross on their wedding day! And this includes you!

Drop your calorie intake to 1500 a day, make sure you have 6 a day (not 5) 4 of which are veg, not fruit and reduce the amount of carbs you eat. Top up your white meat and fish intake while dropping the amount of red meat you eat. Normal exercise like housework or walking is a great way to drop lbs. Park at the furthest point from the shops. Put some music on loud whilst cleaning and burn more calories dancing with the duster! That's if you wanna lose weight!?

Anyway..

You'll find a dress that makes you feel like a princess. I asked a bridal shop recently what sizes they stocked and they said from a UK 6 right up to a 36 !!! Get all done up, gorgeous make up, hair, freshly showered with your preffered scent and try on some dresses lady!! ?

There is always a solution and you WILL find THE ONE. I promise you ?

Many many brides are size 20 and above, it isn't a massive size. That's why there is a growth in this are of designers. Find a shop that stocks them even if it means a day out and try some on. Someone may sell you a sample size, or once you find what suits you you can look at preloved. You can get a bargain and you could also sell one on yourself for example https://www.preloved.co.uk/classifieds/marriage/wedding-clothes-bridal-wear?archivedAdvert=true

Nothing useful to add but just wanted to say that no brides ever look "gross" on their wedding day ? I have seen brides whose hair I didn't particularly like, whose dresses weren't to my taste and whose "themes" I would never have chosen, but every single one of those brides looked absolutely beautiful, and you will too x