anyone had to change their dress 12 weeks before wedding? Another bride wearing my dress :(

Is there anything you can add to (sash/belt/bolero/cap sleeves/embellishments) or take away from your dress to make it different? To be honest though, we went to two weddings within weeks of each other where the bride wore the Alfred Angelo dress with the different coloured trains and despite it being quite a distinctive dress none of us realised until Bride Number 1 started sulking about it.

Hi Icklefee,

It's a Maggie Soterro Maude dress. I'm not sure how i could alter it. I dont want any colour on my dress at all. and dont feel confident in strapless as have no boobs. I honestly dont know how else i could alter it. Any further advice would be gratefully recieved. xx

I've just looked at it and it's absolutely stunning but I really can't see anything that could be done to it. I feel for you, this would have me distraught too. I'm sure somebody more rational will have some suggestions or advice for you ☹️

I know you're upset, but think about it rationally - why should it matter if you wear the same dress? The other things you can change easily, but the dress? Everyone knows you usually order a wedding dress months and months in advance, so it's not like you 'copied' her. So then is the issue just that your guests will have seen the dress before? I'm sure they're not going to think less of your wedding, or be doing a mental 'who wore it better'. If you're afraid of looking identical, you still have 12 weeks to have another hair trial and find a different headpiece. I would say that these things don't matter either, but if you're upset about looking this same as her these would be the things to alter. If you hair and make up are different you will look different, even if you're wearing the same dress.

You could even go a step further and have the detail on the bodice removed from the dress and put onto a coloured sash. That would make the dress look different. You could add or subtract a veil from the look (did she wear one?)

The bridal shop will most likely not let you swap, especially if it's a made to measure dress.

My advice is to push past it, change what's easy to change, and wear the dress you fell in love with.

WSS. You're not copying her, you just both happened to have the same taste in dresses - and it is a lovely one! There are lots of ways to make yourself look slightly different - hair, make-up, headpiece +/- veil, jewellery, flowers - and you won't be any less beautiful just because someone you know wore the same dress before.

If you're really good friends, I might have a word with her beforehand to let her know what's happened, so she doesn't have a surprise on the day. I'm sure she won't mind, but I wonder if letting her know in advance that you have the same dress might prevent any "But that was MY dress!" moments when she sees you coming down the aisle?

Please don't be upset by this, I am pretty confident that most wedding guests wouldn't even notice! You are different people so despite having almost the same things it will look different on you. As Venart suggested could you change your head piece and hairstyle if you are really worried?

Genuinely I wouldn't worry about it!

I completely understand this must be upsetting for you, but try to take a step back and think rationally about it.

The only person I care about liking me in my dress, really, is my OH, and if I walked into that church wearing a dress that someone else had worn, he would not notice!

Dresses look so different on different people, different body shapes etc really transform dresses and make them so different.

On top of that, your hair, jewels, even flowers, will make that dress look completely different to your friends.

If I went to a wedding and they had the same dress as another bride had previously, I would just think I'm not surprised they both picked it! Its beautiful!

But I can guarantee I wouldn't notice I would be too caught up in admiring you to even think back to previous brides!

How many of their wedding guests do you think will be at yours?

Agreed with the above - perhaps adding / taking away a veil could alter the look and perhaps if you explain to your bridalwear shop what has happened they might suggest some customisations? It's likely to cost a little but less than starting again with a new dress.

Also agree that you should say in advance - if you're good enough friends that you are going to each other's weddings then hopefully this could be something you could talk about. If you are tactful about it you could even gently make the point that you didn't say anything on her day so as not to make her feel awkward (hoping she will appreciate that and take the hint) and perhaps that will get her on side rather than being annoyed about it.

Bummer. When I Googled the dress, I had my fingers crossed for A-line/strapless, which would be very easy to add to. I really don't think you should think about altering the dress itself.

So, not to p*ss on anyone's chips here, but perhaps it's worth noting that unless a dress has some kind of undeniably distinctive feature (it's green, it's made of white leather, the V-neck shows your belly button, etc), then it's very unlikely that anyone will remember it well enough to know it's the same dress. To us, our dresses are unique and unforgettable; to anyone else other than your Mum and maybe - only maybe - your OH, our dresses are one among many.

Don't tell your OH. He probably won't remember what the dress was like, either on her or on you. You might get feedback along the lines of "straps, V-neck, some kind of belty sparkle thing" but that's it.

Of all my friends and family that have got married, I can recall several beautiful dresses. However, I can only recall one well enough to think that I'd know the same dress again if I saw it. I can remember many lovely features (a keyhole back, a lace train, a dramatic fishtail) but not so much that if I saw the same dress again, I'd think anything other than "Oh, that's the same kind of style as XYZ had". In honesty, I'm surprised that this doesn't happen more often, friends tending to share taste as they do. I suppose it's only the massive number of dresses on the market that stop these clashes.

I think it's YOUR dress as much as it was hers. I would likely consider a different hairstyle, maybe a different hair piece, just to ring the changes. What was the style of her wedding, compared to yours? The look of the day will change how people remember things. Your flowers etc are likely to be different colours and so on.

I would have a word with her though - just make light of it. "You're not going to believe this but I have picked the same dress as you, who could have known, oh well".

Well, I think the fairly obvious response to this might be "F*ck off" and then defriend her.

Or more politely, stop her being able to post on your photos?

If it is of any help, I can't remember ANY of the dresses my friends wore at their weddings, except that they were long, and white.

I promise you, nobody will notice.

This. It's SO true!