Anyone had/having a Blessing?

We had a blessing service, although it followed immediately on from the civil ceremony. We've not been married before, but my husband didn't feel comfortable making his marriage vows in church.

The basic outline can be seen here: https://www.yourchurchwedding.org/your-wedding/service-of-prayer-and-dedication.aspx

As it's not a legally binding ceremony, the wording can be changed more than the CofE wedding service. We changed the final prayers a lot, and H's vows were changed so he didn't have to say "with the help of God." You can still have hymns (we had 3) and readings (we had 2; generally at least one has to be from the Bible). There are some differences in the service - as you are already married, you enter the church together, rather than him waiting at the front with the best man and you being given away by your Dad. You can still have a best man and bridesmaids, though they don't have such a big role as you're already wearing your rings etc.

I'm not completely sure about costs as individual churches will vary. You don't have to pay for banns/certificates but you do still have to pay for the church, vicar, organist etc.

Hope that helps!

We are having a blessing straight after the civil ceremony at the same venue!

I haven't started to plan it all yet but would love any hints or tips from anyone who has done similar!

x

We're having a blessing 2 weeks after our wedding as like you we want a small wedding somewhere that means something to us, our blessing will take place in a beautiful church that you actually can't use for weddings only blessings. It's ended up basically being a second wedding which isn't what we intended, but it's fine.

Any questions feel free to ask (I also have the order of service of the blessing (full version) if you want to see what it'll be like)

We did exactly this - civil ceremony in a hotel followed by a blessing service, which was done by a minister friend of ours. We had a bible reading, small sermon, a song written by a Christian friend of ours specially for the day, and another friend closed in prayer - it took about 20 minutes or so.

Many of our friends commented how lovely it was and felt 'proper' on the end of the wedding ceremony. We compromised on having a church ceremony by having a venue that we could have everything on the same site - so we wanted to make sure our faith was recognised somewhere in our big day, and as you aren't allowed anything even vaguely religious in a civil ceremony it worked for us and our guests.

The link to our video is here - the final dvd is not yet released yet so it's not a "public" video - can only be viewed via the link directly. This will only be available for a short time so watch it whilst you can, until the proper videos are all uploaded in due course. Apologies it's only preview quality.

[View:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENzhjbE4n4k:550:0]

As for "hints and tips", I guess firstly you need to find someone who is willing to do the blessing for you - they don't need to be a minister, and then discuss what you'd like.

Generally I'd say having a hymn would be difficult unless you can find someone willing to play an instrument (and bring it along) so you are probably best sticking to a couple of readings, a short sermon and a prayer.

Happy to assist further if necessary.

If they're having it in their village church though, surely they can just get the organist?

I didnt realise this AJ, we are having civil ceromony in Cyprus but was planning on having a few religious readings, would this not be allowed? ?

I honestly don't know - the rules in Cyprus may be different.

All I know is that here we couldn't have any 'religious content' in the civil ceremony - which, according to some registrars includes having "Angels" by Robbie Williams as entrance music, as it has 'religious connortations' apparently.

We even had to get special permission to have "Baby I'm a want you" by Bread played, because it uses the word "praying" in the lyrics - which apparently in this case was relating to a principle rather than an instruction to worship a specific deity so it was acceptable. (This was in our interlude between the registrars leaving and the blessing starting).

It annoys me that non religious people can have a church wedding and have as much or as little religious content as they can get away with it, but those that for any myriad of reasons choose not to have a church wedding are prevented from acknowledging their faith during a non-church wedding ceremony.

We even weren't allowed to have an "Order of Service" - it had to be an "Order of Ceremony" or "Order of the day". However, they did say it was ok to have all the blessing content in the same brochure, but on a separate page so that people didn't see that whilst following the ceremony. It all makes no sense to me, but as usual nobody wants to fight our cause to get the law changed.

Hi AJ!

I thought you had done the same as I am planning but I didn't know if you were back yet, I saw your mega flash and your day looked lovely! Congratulations!

I have my vicar who moved away to do the blessing for us, he is really happy to do it!

At the moment I am just trying to get some ideas together but I am very excited about it as I love my venue but really wanted to include my religion in my day. I also didn't think a blessing at a later date would suit us as we are having lots of friends from all over England and abroad coming along so it is easier for us to have it all on the same day!

I just need to sort some readings etc. out and then hopefully I will be heading in the right direction!

My first wedding was in Paphos, Cyprus. When we returned to the UK we had a blessing in a church and it was just like a wedding ceremony. We had the Vicar speak and bless the marriage, songs an Organist etc..

We did this as I wanted the religious aspect to the service and also so all my family could witness it as they didnt come to Paphos. We had to visit the vicar at his office and explain why we wanted it and we also had to attend Church services for a few weeks so the congregation were familiar with us and to show our commitment.

Oh yes, back, settling into real life (its our one month anniversary tomorrow, where the heck has that gone???). Been busy, working on the final bits of the dvd and hope to have all the videos up for view in the next week or so - you can see our full report in my signature.

I would agree in your case having it all on the same day would be helpful because of the travelling - but for those marrying overseas the blessing at home on return from honeymoon seems like the better option.

Glad you enjoyed what you've seen so far... everyone seemed to enjoy it too.

Hi jojo, were getting married in Paphos, do you know if they allow religious content for a civil ceremony? We have a minister coming so maybe we could ask them to do a blessing for us after the ceremony. ?

Thankyou AJ, i agree with everything you have said, i think i will contact the hotel and put the question forward. ?

We're having one. We're getting married abroad, but it's still going to be a church ceremony and is legally recognised in the UK. We were always going to have a party at home on our return. The whole idea of a blessing came from wanting to include OH's gran, who was in a nursing home. She's fairly religious and the local vicar had become a friend of the family. We wanted to do a little blessing of the marriage in her room. I then wanted to invite my grandmother, who can't come abroad. Then I felt bad about leaving out other family (aunties and uncles) who can't come abroad, so we decided to turn it into a full service, which makes the day a bit more special for those travelling a long way.

We've booked the date with the vicar, but haven't got as far as looking into the running of the service yet. I'm assuming that we'll have hymns and readings just like any other service.

Hi, as it was 12 years ago I really can't remember. I know the whole ceremony wasn't in English either. We were married by the Mayor at the town hall in Paphos.

It may be best to speak to whoever is organising it for you over there as it may be different to over here.

Hi all,

i am looking to have a civil ceremony in U.K. Followed straight away by a blessing at a church/chapel on site.

I have been struggling to find venues that do this- can any of you help? Thanks!