Anyone put any unusual requests in your invites?

It sounds like a bit of an odd thing to request but as a guest I wouldn't mind. I've had invitations before that specified 'no jeans' so I suppose it's not too different.

I think its a little bit strange if I'm honest!

I have friends who only wear black, mainly because they have insecurities and dont like drawing attention to themselves, or their bodies with lots of colour. I wouldnt want to have my guests feeling uncomfortable by asking them to wear something they may not like. As for white/cream you'd hope people would realise, although they are hardly going to compare to someone in a big white dress!!

I think you can request - but be prepared people still won't necessarily follow. I had one wedding with the 'black tie' dress code and got more worried about my outfit for that, and it really is just normal wedding attire. You also run more of a risk that they will wear a colour your bridesmaids are in if you ask for bright colours and that is what your bridesmaids are in.

I think black/white/cream are becoming more 'done' at weddings, and from photos i have seen no one even looks 'bridal' and black doesn't look dreary. I wouldn't do it but I am not going to worry about it to much.

I think the most inappropriate outfit I have seen was very short at the front, and long at the back

I think I might find it a bit strange if I had an invite which told me what I should and shouldn't wear to a wedding. I have worn a black dress before as an evening guest to a wedding but have brightened up with a coloured cardigain and shoes.

Rach xx

Personally I would think it is a bit strange to write that and some guests could end up worrying about what counts as black. I have a black and white patterned dress that I've worn to weddings before and there is nothing funeral-y about it.

I think you would be better writing something that encourages people to dress in bright colours rather than saying "no black". I'm sure most of the OMs on here will tell you that on the day you won't even notice/care if one or two guests turn up in black.

I can understand your point. I personally never wear black for weddings, but others see nothing wrong with it.

If you really dont want any black at your wedding, then go for it! I had a dress code of red for my first wedding. I asked that all men wore red ties and that the women wore a hint of red. No one took any offence, and the vast majority complied.

I am asking people to pay for my tog on mine, so I am probably weird too! lol

Sorry, I think it's rude.

I don't see any problem with people wearing black. I also see no problem with cream or white as long as whatever it is isn't 'wedding dress like'.

I have this dress which I think is fine for a wedding but I would worry it would defy your request for 'no black'.

My question is, is it really worth making people possibly feel uncomfortable and peeved for something so trivial?

I don't see the issue, your day, your way... I've put in with my invites no jeans, trainers or sportswear (not that I think any of my guests would consider wearing any except sisters oh) we also advised female guests to wear hats or fascinators.

I get where you're coming from with black feeling funeral like, but I might wear black just to be annoying if I was asked that ? I think its a bit rude to dictate what people wear in the evening. For most they would wear what they think they look best in, not necessarily what is 'celebratory' and for many, this would be black.

on the white/cream conundrum, I saw a picture on facebook of a day guest wearing an off white maxi dress. It wasn't like a summer dress either, it was very dressy. So inapropriate IMO

I would find it so rude. Does it really matter what others are wearing as long as they are smart and tidy...

My sister wore a black dress for my cousins wedding a few years ago with a fur coat as it was cold. And she looked lovely and many people said so .

I would find it rude too, and I would still wear black and I never wear hats / fascinators - this would not be to deliberately go against your wishes, but I wouldn't wear anything I wasn't comfortable in.

Guests are there to enjoy your day with you not to be dictated to about what they can and can't wear. Your wedding day already costs your guests a lot of money to attend, without restrictions

I would feel very put out at being told what to wear - no black is borderline, but being told to wear a hat or a fascinator would probably result in the invite being politely declined. Weddings are expensive for guests. Clearly in a different ball park to the couple, but with travel, gift and accommodation, it adds up very quickly, The suggestion that I must go out and buy some head gear would not go down well! (Especially in some years where I've had to do multiple weddings!)

I've worn black to a wedding - with pink bolero and shoes and colourful jewellery. I didn't look like I was going to a funeral and more importantly, I could wear something I already owned. I honestly can't imagine many brides having the time or energy to judge everyone's outfit in turn on the day. Plus the 'worst' outfits I've seen at weddings have been colourful and either too short, too low cut or my favourite, the tiny mini skirt, tiny top and FMBs for a strict Catholic wedding! Colour had nothing to do with why they were so inappropriate!

Obviously you can ask what you want in an invitation, but people may not react well. I personally would find it rude and it would make me consider whether it was a day where I would feel comfortable. Sometimes I think it's easy to get caught up with the mantra of 'it's all about the couple', without fully considering what it's like for the guests.

I guess it is a matter of opinion. I find people wearing black to weddings very rude. I wouldn't mind someone asking me in an invite not to wear one colour. It's not like it is difficult. I have seen people request that guests wear one specific colour like red or to go in 20s/50s/medieval theme dress, which works out expensive.

Although the dress in the post above is lovely I would certainly think it is black and certainly isn't what I class as suitable day wedding attire. Just my opinion, but it is a lovely dress. Someone said earlier that they may just wear black because they were asked not to, well thankfully none of my friends or family are awkward enough to disrespect my wishes, whether they disagree or agree, that means they do not truly care about the people getting married to make the effort or do I one little thing for them. I certainly wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that.

Its the bride & grooms day and it's up to them what they want. It's not like the request is particularly difficult.

Wow, that's not an unusual request, it's a very rude request!

I wouldn't dream of dictating what people can and can't wear to my wedding. Most people are sensible enough to choose something appropriate to wear.

What about men? Most men have black suits that they'll either jazz up with colours for a wedding or they can tone down for work/funeral etc. Are you expecting they go out and buy a new suit?

Agree with the majority that it's a little rude, possibly only surpassed by your rather defensive reply. If you don't want an opinion, don't ask for one.

You will not remotely notice what your guests are wearing on the day, black, white or rainbow-coloured. I couldn't tell you if anyone wore black at my wedding, I'd have to look at the photos to check. And the reality is that many people prefer to wear black.

I don't tend to wear black to weddings, mostly because it's the best excuse you get to buy a dress that is bright yellow (or whatever). But I'm not wearing a hat or fascinator for anyone - such a request would be flat out ignored.

This.

IMO I think this is a problem. As per the previous responses, I don't think it's fair on the guests to have to go out and buy something completely different if they already have something useable that happens to be black, especially when they are having to potentially pay out to come to the wedding anyway.

I have a black and white dress that I wear to a lot of things, I just interchange with colourful accessories. I would be really annoyed if someone told me I couldn't wear this to their wedding, as I personally do not have the cash to go out and buy something new that I will probably never wear again.

To be honest, what does it matter what everyone else is wearing? You'll probably be so wrapped up in you and your new hubby that you won't even notice what people are wearing!

In the grand scheme of things would it matter if the odd person turnes up in a black dress..... really??? What about the males guests are they allowed to wear black suits?? I think such a request is extremely rude and I wouldn't recieve it well if it were me. Someone said they would wear black on purpose well I wouldn't go that far but I would think cheeky *** so to speak.

Completely agree with the majority here. Why on earth would someone want to dictate and worry about what guests are going to wear? Isn't there enough worry and think about when planning a wedding.

What Footlong said, really.

I didn't give a monkeys what people wore to our wedding. I probably would have noticed if someone had worn fancy dress or clown outfit, but as long as they were happy - fine. I think it would have made me chuckle. I usually wear black to weddings as I like classic 1950s dresses that I can accessorise differently and wear again. Saves money too.

Bear in mind your guests will be forking out a lot to be with you on the day, so dictating a dress code will have further cost implications for them.

Black can be very smart. What about all the advice that tells you to wear a little black dress on a first date or whatever? Would you think that was rude?

I honestly think your request is very bridezilla and really quite rude to dictate to guests what they can and can't wear. I love Kharv's black dress with the coral on it. Its absolutely beautiful and definitely the sort of thing I would wear to a wedding.

Thanks irrelephant. Was starting to think I'd committed a major faux pas.

Not that I'd give a sh1t of course. I'm rude like that.

I really do not see the issue here?? I think it's important guests are advised to dress appropriately for the occasion and venue they are attending, you wouldn't turn up to Ascot without a hat?? Well you could but would be the odd one out and look rather silly like someone forgot to tell you the dress code.

If your venues in a field you want to warn people to bring warm clothes/wellies if the weathers bad if you are having a pool party they need to know to bring swim wear, if it's fancy dress........

I think for some it is, if they don't have much money and have an old faithful dress that they wear to occasions, you are massively putting them out by asking to buy a whole new outfit, unless black accessories are allowed?

Funky, are you getting married at Ascot?

But people know the dress 'code' for a wedding is smart and posh. Black can be both smart and posh and look very nice. What about all those people who have their bridesmaids dressed in black? Do you think they all look like their traipsing off to a funeral?

Warning someone about appropriate footwear is different to telling them. They could still choose to wear heel in a muddy field if they wanted but then it would be their own fault. Telling someone heels are NOT ALLOWED is a different thing.

I wouldn't dream telling people what to or not to wear. Not everyone can afford to buy an outfit to fit your request after paying for travel, accomodation and possibly a gift and plus it is supposed to be a happy, relaxed enjoyable day for everyone. Telling people what to wear doesn't set a positive tone. My Grandma wore white and so did one of our guests who flew 10500 miles to attend, I think the guests knew who the bride was.

I've worn a black shrug over a dress at many weddings. Would that be against your wishes?

Was just about to ask the same!

Yeah, she was that bloody stunning one with the gorgeous dress and the rather fetching tiara wasn't she...?

I forgot to ask what will you do if someone defies you and wears black or white or non bright colour?

No not Ascot but a central London hotel where not wearing a hat will look equally silly (IMO)

The key part there is the bit in brackets.