Anyone put any unusual requests in your invites?

Indeed none have asked for a dress code because it's just a little odd! I guess on top of 10 weekends at weddings and 5/6 on hen dos plus having a life, guests should spend time rummaging through charity shops and trying on other people's clothes because someone somewhere is being a melodrammatic bridezilla. Clearly that is the sensible solution rather than brides just being reasonable in the first place lol

Well then don't go. I'd rather people didn't come that didn't respect how important my wedding day was.

But I don't think money is by any means the only issue here.

I think the main thing that people are taking offence to is being told what to wear on a whim from the bride.

The point a few of us have made is why risk annoying/upsetting people for something that really doesn't matter?!

And as a few have also said, you really do open yourself up for ridicule. Not to your face, I imagine, but definitely behind your back.

I can absolutely assure you that you won't give a monkeys what people wear on the day.

Also, I had two friends who wore cream dresses and a few guests in black. They all looked fabulous.

how important your wedding day was.. TO YOU.

why is that different ? if a venue you choose has a dress code or you create a dress code?

Somebody may have to buy a new item of clothing to comply either way surely?? or should we check that their guests own a certain type of clothing before it is considered?

Well obviously people don't visit their friends & families or even go shopping these days, what with 'having a life'. Funny that my life includes visiting my friends and family on a regular basis. I just think that if a friend thinks I'm important enough to share her special day then she's important enough to at least try to make the effort. And again there is the fact that I said I would talk to her about it instead of resenting what she had asked. Maybe I just have a different relationship with my friends.

It's different for exactly the reason I stated in my previous post. It's not about the money. I would always balk at being told to wear something on the whim of the bride. I would be much more inclined to be sympathetic if it was a venue restriction.

And yes to me. Because it was MY wedding. I wouldn't go to a friends wedding and expect it to be more important to me than them. So whatever they wanted would be important to them.

But surely telling your guests to wear hats or fascinators might be considered rude by most people, regardless of so called class or income. Perhaps I've misunderstood.

Blimey, this thread has gone a little mental in places. All good entertainment for a weds afternoon )

Fair play, I totally agree with Swardy and Funkyjameseo. I would never do anything on purpose to spite the bride. That is horrific and if someone even considered doing that then they obviously shouldn't come. Thankfully I don't think anyone Ive invited would be so mean to me as they care about me/us.

I sti can't see the big deal. If I was ruling out most of the colour options available then I'd kind of understand, but it's one colour. Maybe because I only have coloured dressed and no black ones at all )

Hypnopoison, what if a guest wears grey? or Brown? or Navy? Are they celebratory, because to me, these are also colours appropriate for a funeral.

I enjoy threads like this, good entertainment ?

But that's you not them! How can you speak for your entire guests. I have been to 13 weddings to date and never once been asked such a thing. Of course no one is going to spite you and not come but you can be sure that you will raise an eyebrow between your friends and family.

I think we do - I genuinely have friends who are happy for me to be me and wouldn't dream of enforcing silly dress codes to make their pictures 'prettier' or because they thought they were so posh that everyone must wear a hat! I have friends who think their wedding is a celebration with the people they love, not a Hello magazine photo shoot. They want to involve people and make them comfortable and feel included. I wouldn't dream of demanding any guest had to wear anything specific or not wear anything specific. I care about them all and hope they turn up and have fun and they don't need a passive aggressive comment on a wedding invite to know how to dress! We've made the wedding accessible with things different accommodation options at different price points because, imo, the guests being there and having fun make a wedding and are much more important than whether a flower is cerise or pink, or whether someone wore a dress with a hint of cream or black.

So yes, I probably do have a different relationship with my friends. I would never demand pointless things from them (or hopefully not be a demanding prima donna full stop!)

And what if you're colour blind...... Oh the offense that is so easily taken.

I assume black shoes is ok but what about black tights..... or a black handbag? Is there a rule on proportion of black in an outfit that is acceptable and where is crosses the line into funeral?

Exactly this, where do you draw the line.

What if someone is that bothered by it, that they call you to ask if they can wear black shoes, or a black pashmina, heaven forbid! I would feel awful!

? love the comment about how it's ok for men to wear black because suits cost more than dresses.

So it's rude to wear black but it's not rude to pass comment on how much you think people spend on their outfits? ?

Completely agree with the above sentiment.

OP, do get a grip on what really matters or you'll run yourself ragged for no good reason.

This is a very interesting thread to read, and especially interesting to hear people's opinions on dress codes etc.

Personally I wouldn't be bothered at all by a no black request, although I think wording it in the 'wear something colourful' way would read better and nicer. For our wedding I really do hope people dress up as I'm hoping it will be a classy, glitzy affair. (Not like us at all- just what I envisage for our day). We have been toying with how to word this on an invite without alienating people but have decided there is probably no way of putting it without doing that.

My mum is very disappointed by this as she really hopes to dress to the nines in a full-length ballgown but won't if it hasn't been put on the invites as she doesn't want to be the only one. We are having 80 people who are all close friends/family so I would hope that they would bother to buy something new if they didn't have something that fits the occasion. In my mind it is similar to being invited to a Ball and then not dressing up- you wouldn't be going in! We have also attended a black-tie wedding where OH had to wear a tux and I wore a ballgown, we would have looked very out of place and rude if we had turned up in anything else when there was a specific request. Yes, we had to hire a tux and I bought a new frock but it was what the bride wanted and made for a lovely event.

Some weddings have got a theme/dress code (fancy dress, wear something red, black tie, 60ss), I suppose if you really couldn't afford to find something that fits the bill then you would decline the invite. It seems odd that it is fairly acceptable to have a dress code for a party/hen do but not at your wedding!

Agree?

Still hilarious...

Agree ? Just wish I had some popcorn.

I would be a little offended. If I'm making the effort to come to your wedding (travel, accommodation, maybe a day off work?) then a present, then drinks on the night, it all adds up. Maybe if I had money I would buy myself a dress, but I wouldn't be happy being told I had to. I have many black dresses and I would wear them to a wedding (colourful accessories) I like wearing black and being able to jazz it up with all different accessories.

My mum wore a mostly black dress to my wedding and she looked amazing!! She also did not wear a hat/fascinator. She hates them and she would have felt self conscious all day and night. To be honest if it was mandatory I would rather not go. I don't suit hats and would never choose to wear one. I can't remember what anyone wore to my wedding (and it was a couple of weeks ago!) I know my Hs auntie wore a black shirt and suit jacket and a black and gold top. She looked amazing and she never wear skirts so we really appreciated she made such an effort!!

I also find the whole 'city job' thing a little offensive even if that's not how it was meant. I have a minimum wage job, I am 22. I have my own house, mortgage and yes I don't have money all the time but it wouldn't matter if it was me or someone who earned 10 times what I did, I still wouldn't expect anyone to buy something new unless THEY wanted.

Oh and kharv, that dress is gorgeous. I used to have one like that but was a creamy colour rather than coral. I thought it looked really dressy and smart. Not at all funeral like.

Also agree with the poster who said grey, brown and navy?? Surely any dark colours are more funeral like?

Ah classic Hitched!

I understnad that if there is a fancy dress theme or stict dress code eg black tie fot the weddins or the venue then this shoould be politely put across on the invite

eg "The dress code is black tie" or "Our wedding theme is 80's cartoon characters and we encourage you to dress up to reflect this theme!"

If I recieved an invitations requesting that I didn't wear a certain colour I would probably pull a face but but wouldnt be overly pi88ed off. I tend to wear colourful outfits to weadddings anyway and if I know the bride, will ask what colour her bmaids are wearing to avoid it.

I had a guest in the same colour as my b.maids (who had chosen their own outfits as the ushers who worse suits they already owned)and she was mortified but It didnt bother me!

In fact, i wore a cream lace wedding dress and one of my friends wore a short, cream lace dress. I didnt even notice until the evening when a friend asked if "the girl in the lace dress with the red curly hair was single" this descibed me so i laughed and told him he was a few hours too late until he pointed out my friend and realised just how similar we looked! Didnt bother me on bit.

The important part was that our friends and family were there to celebrate our special day, who cares what colour they wore to do it!

Ah, we haven't had a good hitched fight like this in AGES!

But if money is tight, you can put together a standard fancy dress costume for virtually nothing if you use charity shops/DIY stuff. Doing "classy" fancy dress for a wedding where you're going to be in lots of fancy photographs is likely to be a whole lot more stressful and expensive.

I've never been invited to a wedding with any kind of dress code, and everyone has still managed to dress appropriately each time. I do think dictating colours people can and can't wear, or demanding headgear, is getting towards the bridezilla end of the spectrum.

I've just been reminded of something...

My BM dresses are black, that must make me some kind of heathen

(Don't ask how I forgot to mention this, it's been one of those days)

My bridesmaids dresses were also black. In a catholic church. I'm going straight to hell mate.

We've asked for our guests to wear swimwear. Speedos only for the men - any swimming trunks and they won't be allowed in.

I had cream bridesmaid dresses, thats how bothered I was. It's just a colour what difference does it make!

I'm being serious.........

If someone told me I couldn't wear black, I'd come dressed as the grim reaper..