Anyone worried about children ruining their day?!

Nope not really!

Try and get the something interesting they can do and sit them on different tables :-)

Good Plan Would it be bad if i sat them not only on different tables, but in different rooms?! Lol ?

Yes, which is why most aren't invited. I saw kids wreck OH's friend's wedding last year, and no way would I want that. If you are worried, hire a wedding nanny to look after them

Could you pay an entertainer of some kind or minder? I haven't the funds (if I did I wild though!), so instead am making up party bags and little 'tasks' for the little dears to do and leave us to it!

Nope but then one of the kids is my son. I'm making up party bags for them with age/child appropriate bits and pieces in. There'll be plenty of adults to keep them in check so I'm not concerned. We took our son to a wedding on Saturday, it was hard work for us making sure he was quiet during the service etc but there's no way I'd let him run around at inappropriate times.

It's only going to be my niece and nephew who will be 8 and 5 by the time of my wedding and they are quite well behaved but i am still a bit worried we might get something like 'mummy what are they doing' during the ceremony which might kill the moment as we are only have a small intimate ceremony it will be very loud and obvious. I'm still pondering if i should ask my sisters OH to entertain the kids elsewhere during the ceremony.

I'm not worried, we have about 10 kids coming but I expect their parents to be in full control of them and to have taught them the manners needed to behave in a situation, although I have to say I know most of the parents have bought up the children like this anyway.

The littler ones, under 5 will probably get restless but I plan to give them activity bags to do and in the church to me, its just part of the ceremony to have kids making noise of some kind

This! So we aren't having and kids at our wedding. Some other hitches have made children's packs with fun things for them to do with is a good idea.

I hate kids and know, just know, that my brother's and sister's are going to be loud, especially my niece and nephew who are brats. I took them to church and they were abysmal. Really, really dreading it.

I can't afford to make up activity packs for them to be honest, and I just hope their parents have the sense to bring something with them! I would love to ban kids but tehy're all close family!

Yes i am...

my little lad is 3 and he is the most unruley , dangerous child i know lol....

He just dont listen but hoping someone else will take over running around after him for one day

its one of the reason we picked 2014 as he will be 5 then and hopefully behave better lol x

We are probably only having 4 children at the wedding, aged at that point 13 mos., 18 mos., 8, and 9/10. I am petrified that the 13 mos. old will cry during the ceremony, as she is a constant wailer! (The 18 mos. old is happy as a bee most of the time.) And, I'm dreading that the 9/10 year old who I've heard has behavioral issues will get bored during the ceremony and start blabbering about. And for the reception, I just know that there's a good chance 8 year and 9/10 year old will be running about like hooligans!

That being said, I refuse to make activity packs or provide separate entertainment for the kids. I feel like bringing things along to occupy a child and/or making a child behave should be the PARENTS obligation. I have no problem asking a parent to leave with his or her child if they can't behave. Ruthless i know. Perhaps bordering on rude.

However, I'm really grateful that so many of our guests aren't bringing their kids. I've found that most would rather leave them with grandparents or friends for the night. Whew!

I really am not a fan of children at weddings but then I'm not a mum. A wedding I went to a couple of years ago I literally couldn't hear the vows for yelling, crying children. We have only two breatfeeders coming so don't expect much noise from them.

Not at all - we'll have 8 at ours from 18 months to 8 years. Maybe more 'cos there's still time for more to arrive between then & now!

I do love kids and if they do make a noise during the ceremony I'm not bothered. The wedding breakfast will probably be around 6pm and they should have spent the afternoon running around outside and be nicely quiet during the evening!

Planning on doing some activity packs for them to keep them occupied & possibly a camera ispy game and I know the parents will keep them under control & they are all well behaved.

One friend suggested not inviting the children but I wouldn't dream of them not coming - can't wait to have a photo done with them all (if they sit still long enough!)

Nope, I have 2 aged 4 and 2.5 and there will be 2 others at our ceremony aged 5 and 2. As many kids can come in the evening as they like. They make a wedding, they make it fun!

Yes I have 6 Flowergirls under the age of 8 ( not by choice) I have a beautiful daughter but I'm not a fan of kids in general and I'd be really annoyed if people with kids leave early !

Yes, as I'm not a major fan of kids. That's why we're only having 1 at the wedding! And his Mum is already under strict instruction to keep him quiet during the ceremony. Don't want to hear him screaming on my wedding video!

To be honest, yes. It's upsetting also because I get the impression those with children expect you to love them as much as they do. They may be friends of the family, or my godchildren, but I do not find misbehaving "cute". I find it rude, children or not. Unfortunately, I think the parents find it "cute" and that's where my concerns come in. I am not about to say "no children" to the wedding but I will definitely be finding something that they can occupy their time with.

I'm also under the impression that those with children wont go ANYWHERE without them, which irks me slightly. I understand being attached to your children but there are times where it's best NOT to bring them.

Yes hence deciding a no children rule...we are lucky as we are a fairly young couple all our family friends have older children and all our friends don't have children yet...I love children don't get me wrong but i hate it when they cry/make noise in a ceremony! if you have the funds i would do some kind of activity for them! i always find that parents are a little more careless with the children at weddings (im talking 4+) as they feel like they are in a safe/secure place with plenty of family watching over them so they tend to let them roam about doing what they want!!

i saw one venue review on trip advisor the other day where someone was complaining that their children had been told to get down off a high wall incase they hurt themselves and the parents were asked to pay for a table cloth that a child had drawn a full picture on, they even admitted the child had drawn all over it but claimed that tables with children on should have had a plastic table cloth!! haha no thanks not at my wedding!! they also weren't happy that their children were asked to stop screaming and running up and down the corridoor...IMO the venue was well within their rights!! this is what i would like to avoid!!

if you are close enough to the people with children, why not ask them if they think the children would want something to do during the meal etc that way you are already hinting you would like them to be quiet etc

x

This is one of the most ignorant comments I've read on here so far. Do you honestly think your wedding reception is going to be interesting for a child of any age? If you are providing entertainment for the adults then why not the children? It's not expensive to provide a colouring book and crayons, bubbles, etc. as a parent I would bring things anyway but surely it's just hospitable as a host to provide for all of your guests rather than a select age group. If you are that worried about them ruining your wedding breakfast then I would provide something for them to do but it sounds like you resent them being there and will be looking for excuses to kick them and their parents out.

Most children would rather be outside than sitting and eating for two hours or more so I expect you won't see them for dust and most decent parents would take an unruly child out until they've calmed down enough to go back inside. Oh and if you think you're going to be ok with just babes in arms then think again,these can be the loudest and most unpredictable!

First, I don't think there's any need for personal attacks. We all have our own opinions, and I was just expressing mine. And, again the reason we're not providing anything activity-wise (whether it be packs or a clown or games) is because we strongly believe it's not our responsibility to entertain someone else's child. Whether the reception is interesting or not is a concern for parents. We don't really consider the children our guests -- perhaps that's inhospitable, but they're not our friends. We're really only permitting them because the parents have asked, as they can't or won't find adequate childcare. Secondly, we're fortunate in that most of our friends feel the same in terms of both child rearing and responsibility and wedding receptions being adult affairs. This is why the vast majority with kids are making other arrangements -- they want to be able to let their hair down at the reception without having to mind their children. Finally, we're not looking for any excuse to kick anyone out, but if a child is hanging from the bannisters, coloring the walls blue, doing cartweels into the cake, and their parents refuse to mind him, then I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask the parents to take him away.

There was no personal attack in my post. If you really can't stand the thought of children being there I don't know why you don't put your foot down with these parents who so want them to come. Would they still want their children in such an unwelcoming environment? I know I wouldn't.

See, call me terribly old fashioned (I probably am) but to me it doesn't matter if a child is interested or not, they should be brought up to sit quietly until the parents say it's time to leave/play/whatever. Same as in church - what is it with "activity areas"? When I was little, I was just told I had to sit/stand/sing at certain points, and remain quiet like the adults the rest of the time. I wouldn't have dared misbehave! Surely parents can bring their children up be be quiet, behave, and yes, be seen and not heard, at certain events and times when it's appropriate?

See, call me terribly old fashioned (I probably am) but to me it doesn't matter if a child is interested or not, they should be brought up to sit quietly until the parents say it's time to leave/play/whatever. Same as in church - what is it with "activity areas"? When I was little, I was just told I had to sit/stand/sing at certain points, and remain quiet like the adults the rest of the time. I wouldn't have dared misbehave! Surely parents can bring their children up be be quiet, behave, and yes, be seen and not heard, at certain events and times when it's appropriate?

I completely agree with this I am a mum and I would expect my daughter to sit quietly I went to a wedding recently and there were 4 kids behind me being noisy going to the toilet every 2 seconds etc it was a 30 minute ceremony I'm sure they could have been quiet for that long and I have to say it ruined the ceremony for me. I would always bring toys colouring books etc to entertain my daughter.

Er, yes, massively. My OH's sisters have loads of kids under 5 with more dropping every few months. I'm also very worried that if the children are noisy / badly behaved as they no doubt will be as they don't get out of the house much, their parents will be screaming at them as usual. If it was my choice, I wouldn't have children under 7 there at all but when I suggested this there was uproar. Plus they're not the sort of children who will entertain themselves with colouring books etc as they have extremely short attention spans. I honestly don't know what to do about the issue without causing massive arguments.

At the end of the day, it's all down to their parents being willing to look after them properly and whether they're brought up to behave in adult social situations.

I can understand the worry yes. A friend of mine had quite a few children at her wedding, and while they were running about in the gardens after the ceremony, a load of them ran straight over the train of her dress.

I think most peoples' concern is the ceremony. I was at a wedding recently where there were quite a few children, and it was so noisy that the guests at the back couldn't hear a word. I was really surprised that some weren't taken out more quickly than they were.

We are having family children only, of which there are two, who are very well behaved.

My friends have children, most of them are well behaved but unfortunately one boy is not and no punishment seams to work on him (his Mum who is lovelt is at her wits ends) so as we can not invite other children and not him (having him there would be a nightmare as there will be candles around) we have had to make the sad decision that we are only inviting family children only.

I felt really awkward speaking to my friends about our decision but they have all been relieved and said they would rather leave the children at home anyway!

I agree that children should be brought up to behave and be quiet and respectful in certain situations...but what if they still don't? What's your suggestion then? A smack? Because sometimes you try everything in the book and more and it doesn't work for some children. My son is so active and needs constant stimulation, telling him off when he's being naughty makes it worse and whatever he is doing escalates! The only thing that works for me is remove him from the situation as calmly as possible. And I just don't think you can expect 0-3 year olds to sit and behave for longer than about 20 minutes - some may do but lots don't. I have every faith that my son will get better as he gets older because I remain firm with him and teach by example.

At first I have to admit I didn't want any children at the day time part of the wedding. We don't have children and there is only 1 little one on my side and one of my good friends (who I was BM for and she didnt have have children at her wedding) is pregnant and the little one will be nearly 1 at our wedding. However OH has 8 on his side (cousins children) and his family are all very close to them.

I expressed my concern about not having children at the wedding but this was very quickly vetoed by OH and I dont think my MiL2B would have liked it either.

I have been to 2 weddings where there were no children there and I have to say it wasn't quite the same as a wedding with little ones. It seemed more formal without them there and I don't want my day to be overly formal. Even my dad wasnt keen on me saying no children to the wedding as he said 'i think kids make a wedding'.

I don't have a worry that the kids will ruin the day as they are all pretty well behaved kids and the parents and family wouldn't want them running around etc I am more concerned that they will be bored. I have an old school friend who does kids party hosting, face painting etc so I am thinking of hiring her for a couple of hours to keep them entertained but they vary in ages so not sure it will be of any interest to the older ones.

I think I will pinch some of the ideas for goody bags etc to keep them occupied.

I agree with Nical above tbh, my son and I attend mass every week and have since he was newborn. He's just turned 3 and cannot sit still & shut up simply because I glare or mutter threats (chance would be a fine thing!). I just hope that they keep it to a dull roar or the parents step into the porch to watch instead. I'm not a big fan of kids either in all honesty. I recognise they need stimulation though, obviously my wedding won't be riveting to them so some tasks and bribes Will be included in their bags.

We aren't having any kids other than my OH's daughter and little sister. I wouldn't have minded children being there at all but there are none on my side for family or friends and almost every couple that OH knows has 2 if not more! We have a number restriction for the meal which meant a lot of friends wouldn't be able to come if we invited all the kiddlywinks and OH didn't want any there anyway as he has a nightmare neice and nephew who are prone to screaming fits at the drop of a hat. He (rather un-uncle like in my opinion) specifically banned these two so we couldn't then invite friends' children which I think might be a shame but it's his family so I'm keeping out of it!!! I only went to family weddings when I was younger but my mother is easily the scariest woman in existence so there is no way we would have dared misbehave. Think you just have to rely on the parents to keep them in check and keep your fingers crossed!

But that's it Nicalf, the first hint of disruption from my nearly 3 year old and I would have taken him straight out of the room. I do have certain expectations of him but he doesn't understand those yet. A lot of it is about the parents as well imo. I did let him and his cousin (the bride's son) run around around outside after the ceremony but they needed that exercise and no one was bothered. I wiped his hands constantly as I was petrified about him touching the bride with mucky hands. Luckily my friends and relations all feel the same way so I'm not worried about them on our day.

We're not inviting kids because i know my cousin's three kids would just run riot and be loud and shouty and drive me up the wall. therefore we're not inviting any kids because we couldn't just exclude those three.