........

I would talk to your girls and ask if they realise how much preperation you have put into the night, tell them how much you have spent on the drinks and that you want to enjoy a little time in the house before going out into town.

Thanks shnarfy1, They know how much I have spent as ive toold them all along, and its not like my house is out of there way, 2 live literally about 3 minutes away and the other lives 5 mins away, so why can't there OH's go without them whilst they come here, im so angry and upset right now, there acting as if its a night out for them

Awww hun. ?

Imo they are being out of order and shouldnt really be out with there O/H if its your hen night. I agree with what Shnarfy says give them a call and tell them, even if you have to shame them into it.

Were having probs with our hen/stags so i know what it like.

I agree they're being out of order, I'd be upset at that too. Hope you can speak to them and get them to change their minds

Just a thought, is there any chance they might be organising some sort of surprise?

Ah sorry, I'd be upset too - I know often the best parts of the night happen when you're all getting ready and drunk together! They are being out of order for sure, this is your night so still enjoy it whatever happens, even if it's you and your mum - get some more wine down you's and you'll have a lovely special time together and hopefully your friends will make the rest of the night special for you xx I hate it when girls don't get what it's all about - leave your boyfriends for the night for God's sake!!

Are you sure they're not messing and are planning to surprise you by coming to yours anyway? Just a thought...

Hi there is no way they are planning a suprise because i told them months ago if they did anything like that I would be really upset, I hate suprises and they all know that so I dont think they were planning anything like that. I have spoken to one of my friends, get this, she suggested i go to her house first and then go into town with her and her OH, and this is supposed to make me feel better how exactly???

Ive told everyone im just cancelling as I feel like im being left out of my own hen night and its upset me so much I just dont want to go anymore. Thanks for all your replies, its nice to know im not being a bridezilla

Shocking! Your not being a bridezilla at all. Dont cancel tho, just go out and get rat arsed with your mum!

Plus remember the most important thing is that you are getting married to the man you love.

Me and my OH have cancelled, were gonna spend the night together getting rat arsed, all his friends are with my friends so he doesnt want to go out with them as he is really p****d off with there oh's so it could get awkward for him, he said he would rather spend the night with me anyway bless him.

its not worth wasting my time money and effort on a night with people who appear to not give a crap about me and my feelings

If you've got all that drink in we'll all come round and have a hitched hen party?

A

Yeah why the hell not hahaha :-)

What a complete nightmare your friends are! I would have ORDERED them to come round (but they would probably have stropped and sulked)

No hen that I have known has had to go into town to meet the people they are going out with - the best bit is getting ready at home and having a giggle!

Why dont you make up a naughty game for the night and you and OH get p!ssed (no wedding talk either!!)

?

What time shall we start?!

Now? lol

Lainey! your friends ought to be ashamed and if you both hadnt already cancelled i would have advised getting your OH into shaming HIS mates - imagine not being "allowed" out on a mates stag night without your girlfriend trailing behind you......!!

but you know what, if they hadnt come to that conclusion by themselves then you are absolutely doing the right thing by ditching them for a cosy night in with your man!!! good on him and good on you.... im sure you can both think of something to make the night go with a bang ?

The thing is i felt like telling them just come here, but you cant force people into doing things they dont want to do, and if they had have come i would have felt like crap as I would have known the only reason they were there was because i shouted at them. Your right I have never known a hen who has to get ready and go out on her own without her friends but they obviously don't care about stuff like that, I am really upset with the way I have been treated. On the other hand me and my OH get to save a shed load of money and get to spend a night in together with no hassle, we can just sit and relax and enjoy eachothers company so infact this has probably done me a favour, especially if im going to be treated like this!

Thanks hun, I know what you mean. The plan was we were going to the same town but just different ends so we wouldnt bump into eachother, but obviously they wernt too happy with that, OH cancelled his stag night and his best man didnt even seem bothered!

Sounds like your pals were also going out with their OH's to keep an eye on them prior to the stag night, like they couldnt be trusted to be alone.......how pathetic.

I'm sorry this has happened but how lovely your blokie is going to stay in with you, get a few good movies and have a nice night in, and you could have your Hitched Hen too.... (I was v v v late for mine as I fell asleep and woke up too late! LOL, most had signed off)

i'll have a JD and coke please xx

I am shocked they would do something like that. I think you have done the best thing enjoy your evening with oh

Make mine a malibu and lemonade! ?

So sorry that your "friends" are being like this... It's bang out of order, this night is meant to be about you, not just another night out with their OH's.

They have made me sooooo angry on your behalf xxx

It sounds like your OH is a star! If your friends can't put you first then you're right to cancel - I'm sure you'll have a fantastic night in with your OH, and maybe put the money you'd save towards a massage or something for you and your OH, you deserve to be pampered after all that stress!

Oh, and mine's a red wine!

IMO shouldn't have all this been arranged by your Chief BM or MoH? I keep reading everywhere that it is one of the main duties of the CBM to organise the hen do!Why are they letting you organise everything on your own and not even bothering to check with you the plan? Unless they are trying to get something ready for you before you arrive if they're saying don't rush?

About your OH - sounds the sweetest man!

How horrible - to make you feel the one left out on Your Hen do. I really do hope they were planning a surprise and it's all a misunderstanding, but if not you def were right to cancel/tell them how upset it made you.

People who are not getting married may refer to it as being bridezilla - but it is really important for us to feel we have our friends loving and supporting us for our big day!

Grrrrr, I'm upset and hurt for you!

A couple of friends did something similar to us; I organised a group holiday and everyone agreed to the location and time and price, when pay day came 2 people pulled out saying they didn't fancy it. Made me feel right second class.

Have a lovely night with your honey.

I know thats the norm that the moh or bm organise it but my sister is my MoH and she has a disabled son who requires 24/7 care and attention, and she also has another daughter, so it would have been extremely stressful for her so I said that I would take charge, which was fine, I didnt have a problem. There is no way on earth that they are planning a suprise, as they know me very well, or at least I thought they did, they know I would have HATED a suprise of any kind so im 99% sure its nothing to do with a suprise, and even if it is, this has gone too far now and they would have had to tell me.

I text everyone last night cancelling it, I got 2 replies! some ignored me, one tried to change my mind and told me i was being unreasonable and the other asked me to go out with her and her OH, I think I done the right thing cancelling!

Thanks for all your replies everyone, I really felt like crap last night and you all cheered me up so thank you all xx

Tbh you are not alone...

I never wanted a big hen night but was talked round to it by friends. When it came to actually organising it, despite having months of notice and lots of options they:

- didn't respond

- couldn’t make it

- couldn’t afford it

- could only come to a small portion

- assorted other dramas

In the end I decided it was not worth the hassle, OH had a low response rate so we said screw it - come if you want - we are going for a curry n our home town. We had about 10 ppl in the end and it was lovely.

TBH I think a lot of ppl prefer to go our as a couple and although it was a shame it didn't go to plan in the scheme of things it really wasn't that big a deal.

I sometimes think having a hen do is more trouble than it's worth!!!

Mine was supposed to be this weekend too... But in the end everyone took so long coming back to me (we were to have a spa day and then hit the town in the night, staying overnight at the hotel for the spa day) that the hotels were fully booked. Then everyone cried off with "other commitments" (including my bridesmaids) and it's now finally booked for the weekend before the wedding.

However, even now, people are still being vague on whether they're going to even come and have been slow to pay up (for those coming on the spa day)...

So, whilst initially I thought about 20 would be coming, I now have 11 (4 being my bridesmaids, plus my mum, OH's mum, OH's aunt and cousin - in other words, 2 of my friends) coming to the spa day and everyone else being non-commital about even turning up in the night.

It's really frustrated me - I need everyone's support that weekend, as I'm sure I'll be a nervous emotional wreck by then!! Oh, what a send off.

If I hadn't already paid for the spa day I'd think about calling the whole thing off.