!

What is the bridesmaid to you? sister, cousin, h2bs sister or friend?

I wouldn't say anything TBH.

If she is a good friend (I assume she is if a bridesmaid) then she will know that it would be wrong to copy your wedding, though there may be similarities as you are getting married around the same time and weddings, like clothes, have fashions etc.

As for the venue, she may not choose yours, but if she does, I wouldn't take it personally. It may be that it has always been her dream venue- should she not book it beause you have?

I am bridesmaid for SIL to be and am getting married a couple of months after her, I was worried she may think I am copying, getting married in the same year (or that she thinks we will try to steal her thunder)- I mentioned it, and I reallt don't think she does.

Our weddings will be very different, though some details will be the same (fabric bunting, candles- we both love them)- as hers is in a castle and mine in a village hall they will still be very different!

If she is going to be your bridesmaid, I should think she is somebody who is quite close to you. I would suggest that you diplomatically word it on the lines of 'please don't choose our venue which is already booked & paid for as people won't be able to help but comparing both weddings which could potentially spoil it for both weddings'. Anyone with any common sense can see why you have concerns, it's just a case of handling it tactfully x

I would just hope hope hope hope that she doesn't book your venue. If one of my BMs did this I dont care how unreasonable it'd be I'd go farking mad! Surely she realises how horrid that would be?!

I think it depends on what kinda girl she is.

I know my bridesmaids wouldn't know the full details of my venue now, and thats with 8 months to go so i'd first make her aware of the venue that you and OH have chosen.

If she is the kind, sensitive kind then I don't think you need to do anything else - you would hope she would figure from that info that "your" venue is a No-No.

If she isn't the sensitive kind, then i'd have words like Panda says and spell out you will be upset and that it could affect BOTH of your days.

We were meant to get married this year, and then OH's brother and fiance announced they were getting married a month after us but in France!! I remember feeling really annoyed by it but more because they obvioulsy hadnt thought of what it was going to cost the guests giving that half of the guests would be attending both weddings, and having to travel to both! As it happens, OH unfortunatley got made redundant and we had to put the wedding back 12 months. But at the time I was furious, especially because they got engaged after us and we had already announced our date!

I think its a bit selfish of your friend to even consider getting married at your venue, especially the same month, I think its very strange and you have every right to feel peed off!

Gosh, it seems that I am the only one who would not be that bothered!

Honestly? I'd be totally peeved - and I would just blurt it out too! Im not very good at holding my feelings back. I would be cross but also upset - I think its crossing some kind of bride / bridesmaid line?

I would point out how there would be so many overlapping guests it will create comparisons and be difficult financially for people as well - As well as removing some 'shine' off both of you?

Thats how I would be feeling anyway...hard to guess unless your in the situation - good luck!