A question for those who eat happy meat...

Hey Pookie - its a tricky one aint it - what I tend do do is make a joke and say im sooo fussy etc etc about meat and only eat it form our local farm (as i know how its been rearred etc) so for the prsposes of eating with mates etc - its veggie for me! (although 1 sweetie did actually go to my local farm to get some!!)

I think it's a bit harsh imposing your own moral ethical code onto your friends. Your choices are a) go and eat what they have made for you and be grateful for their hospitality or b) stop going. While I think it's perfectly acceptable to tell someone who has invited you for dinner "I'm dairy intolerant or I'm a vegetarian" I don't think its' acceptable to dictate where they shop. That's like me saying to my host "Can you make sure you only get Walls Vienetta, I don't like iceland own brand" - I think it's rude. You're right when you say you would be out of order demanding happy meat.

When I go for dinner it's not really about the food anyway, it's about spending time together.

If I'm in a restaurant where I'm uncertain about the meat, I'd choose something veggie. I wouldn't dream of giving instructions to people when I eat at their houses though- I just eat what I'm given. I think it would be quite rude to tell people that they have to cook you free range meat- if you really can't face it, better to go fully vegetarian (then you can really annoy people ?) I'm not sure you can be veggie at other people's houses and meat-eating at home without getting into some sticky situations, TBH, eg

"oh are we having beef? I thought you were vegetarian"

"Oh no, I just pretend to be vegetarian when I'm eating in someone's house where I can't be sure of the meat."

*tumbleweed*

My sister is very like this and won't come to Nando's with me? She's kind of educated her friends on happy meat and got them on board with it. Same with me actually, I drag my friends to the farmers markets with me on a Saturday morning! She also avoids chicken in restaurants and goes for beef or vegetable option. I don't eat sandwiches from supermarkets with chicken or non-free range egg in. I've also emailed companies such as Pret, Eat, Bighams, if they'll consider using free range chicken in their products. Usually get a weak 'there aren't enough suppliers and it's too expensive' response, which in Bighams' case is a bloomin cheek as their products are so overpriced as it is!

Hmm sorry gone off on a bit of a tangent there?

I think when you go to friend's houses you have to just eat what you're given. When you're eating out at restaurants etc you can ask where they get their meat and if you're not happy, choose something veggie.

When eating at friend's houses, it's a case of put up and shut up I'm afraid. It would be rude to ask for happy meat.

Eeek!

TBH I feel like I can be honest with my mates and tell them about my "fussiness" with meat re: preservatives etc etc so they dont think me rude, just honest!

Theres really no point in going if you aint gonna eat it/enjoy it as youre worrying about the food (or repurcussions of it) is there?

PMSL at KN's tumbleweed scenario ?

I have to say, I agree with LTP on this one.

Well, if you were coming to my house I'd tell you that you can eat the same as everyone else I'm afraid. Fair enough if people have allergies, but I refuse to cater for fussiness. As it is, I always have happy meat but I wouldn't appreciate someone saying "Thanks for the invitaion, just being honest here but I'm pretty fussy about the quality of meat I eat, so unless yours is happy I won't eat it." My answer would be "Don't eat it then love"

I have been trying to come up with something comparable in my head and all I've got is that it's like saying to a vegetarian host "*** your vegecrank stuff, can I have a steak, please? I'm very fussy about lentils"

Which is exactly, Mrs W, why we wouldnt be friends!?

Most of my friends all have allergies blah blah which we all have a joke about (and refer to as our fussiness)and cater for when we all meet up - mine is that I cannot deal with pres's etc so they would rather cater for that than see me in the toilet (re: repercussions I mentioned earlier) for the rest of the evening after putting up and shutting up!!

Just as I wouldnt invite my coeliac friend around and fill her with "normal" pasta and "normal" cake.

I think depending on your friendship circle then everyones response would be very different and that one size doesnt really fit all. I think you need to do what is best for you and your friends ?

But an allergy/intolerance is very different to just having a preferece for happy meat. You aren't going to get ill if the meat on your plate wasn't happy before it got there.

Did you deliberately miss the bit where Wonkle and I said catering for allergies was different??

Someone having coeliac disease is different than someone being fussy. I have an allergy, and I have to tell people about it. If you read my post, you'd have seen that I'm happy to cater for allergies. Thank goodness we wouldn't be friends, I couldn't be doing with catering to fussiness. ?

Would a person who only eats halal get the same response?

Indeedy Mrs W! Sorry LTP - didnt see that (reading quickly whilst skiving from work ?)

eee it's a sensitive topic aint it!?

Think I may well retreat now️?️

No. Nor a person who eats kosher. Though they may have to bring their own cutlery.

Of course not - religion is hardly fussiness is it?

Thanks so much for your answers everyone, I really do appreciate it, I've been fretting over this for such a long time.

So, the general opinion is if eating with friends, just deal with it & eat what I'm given.

It's just such a tricky one, cos I don't really enjoy eating it, & that kinda ruins it.

Maybe I could go down the whole veggie route, and just explain that I won't eat meat???

Gah!

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They'd get vegetarian at my house. Ditto strict kosher people (who I imagine would prefer it, as I'm not equipped to cook properly kosher. Obv I can manage not to cook pork etc).

I do wish you'd just say what you mean, Wonkle, and stop sugar coating your words.

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But surely the belief that an animal for food shouldn't suffer isn't fussiness either?

Personally I would go for the veggie option.

How do you know that you're getting non free range though?

I also think it's worth bearing in mind that the harm is done as soon as the meat is bought. It doesn't do the poor chicken any favours for you to refuse to eat it.

Pooks, how do you know their meat is unhappy? Honestly curious, because I usually can't tell.

I have a friend who has been veggie for years and has only recently started eating meat, but only free range happy meat and that is absolutely fine, I would only cook her happy meat if she can to dinner.

Actually I do think that as a good host, when asking people to dinner it's important to ask them if there is anything they don't eat. OK no one wants to have an uber fussy dinner guest who has a very limited range of foods they like, but I would think it perfectly acceptable for a potential dinner guest to say they only ate happy meat. It's then the host's choice whether they cook veggie, fish or do the happy meat thing.

I'd probably just tell you it was happy meat regardless of whether it was or wasn't ?

Fair enough, maybe it's not fussiness per se. I only buy happy meat, but I don't expect to impose my beliefs about it onto other people and nor do I think that they should adjust what they do because of me. Yes, religion is a set of beliefs, but the impact of eating non halal or kosher meat is deeper reaching than someone who only wants to eat happy meat doing so. I doubt that many people have only ever eaten happy meat, but people who can only eat halal or kosher will never have eaten anything else.

I'm with the majority on this. At home we only buy organic happy meat, milk, cheese etc, but when we go to a friend's house we eat what they give us.

When eating out (i.e. not at a friends house, but buying lunch or dinner) I will generally avoid any meat that isn't happy and often pick the veggie option from the menu if the meat is looking a bit suspect.

That said, on the very rare occasions that I fancy a McDonalds or KFC, I don't feel bad about it.

It seems appropriate to trot out my 'fussy dinner guest' anecdote again here. Apologies for those who've heard it...

I invited 5 old school friends round my place for a meal. Two days before one of them called and said that she wanted to let me know that she has gone totally organic and will only eat and drink certified organic fayre.

Farking cheek I thought, and did the only decent thing and posted on here, slagging her off and asking what I should do.

Having taken the wise words of advice on here, I managed to borrow some silver plate domes from a friends who's a chef. I laid on a three course meal (not organic, but all happy meat) for the 5 of us, and I did Miss Fussy Pants her own meal. So when I whipped off the domes, 5 of us had marinated swordfish and she had a Tesco organic macaroni cheese, still in it's microwaved plastic dish. Her face was picture ?

Luckily she took it in good spirits and graciously accepted the plate of swordfish I'd done her as well. And apologised for the way she announced her requirements at such short notice.

You have hit the nail on the head there Jesster - it is indeed wanky. Totally so. ?

I also can't tell whether neat is "happy" or not. I know some people swear they can, but I really can't. Well, maybe if it's plain roast chicken. No gravy/sauce, no seasoning or stuffing or whatever.

I have had miserable chicken that's tasted fabulous and ecstatic rib of beef that's been foul.

I think there's something of a conspiracy that "hapy" meat tastes great. I buy it because of the welfare issues.

Sorry I'm not answering much, but I chose a terrible time to post this and we are just on our way out!

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I really do appreciate all of your answers, you have given me alot to think about.

I'll be back in a bit

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