A wedding list or not wedding list - that is the biiiig question!!

Why not think of things in your home which you really would like to replace. Then you get the list and you H2b doesn't think it's pointless. I'd love a new dining table so I'd split it down to a chair, a table/money towards a table- depending on price etc if did a list.

I'm not actually doing a gift list though to be honest. Other than a table as mentioned above, there's nothing we want/need. If people want to put a gift of money in a card then fab but I honestly am not fussed if they don't, I just want them at my wedding.

Have you thought about not mentioning anything at all? You'll find most people will give you money anyway.

If there is nothing that you actually want/need, there is no need to have a wedding list. If you would like money/vouchers, you can say so directly in your invitations (though please don't use a poem!) or just say nothing and wait for people to ask you.

I didn't put anything in ours, and people gave us money, im not a wedding list fan but if im going to weddings then I will ask the couple what they want.

Honeymoon fund?

I'm in the 'don't say anything' camp. If there are things you need then you could always have a list then only give the number to people who ask for it. I'd say about half our guests asked if we had a list and the majority of those who didn't ask gave us John Lewis vouchers anyway. People will give what they're happy to give. I doubt anyone ends up with 7 toasters these days.

We thought that about wedding lists too, as there is nothing we want item wise, but when we bought our house coming up to 2yrs (a month today actually) the one thing that needed updating was the kitchen - so we've setup a B&Q list thingy, which is basically funds for home improvements that people can give money too online. The nice thing with this is B&Q do loads from gardens to home accessories to new doors, so we'll always be able to use the vouchers.

I found a lot of people before we sent out invites asked what we were doing as I think they like to know what theyre giving money for.

Have you got anything you do at home or are you going on honeymoon later on?

We didnt put anything on our invites regarding gifts either. Within the family, mum spread the word (if they asked) that we wanted money.

From 60 guests, we only had 1 couple give us a gift. We got 2 sets of vouchers & all the rest gave us cash.

I dont like lists connected to a certain shop, as it annoys me that I could buy the couple the same gift at a much cheaper rate online. (John lewis/selfridges etc as opposed to buying from amazon).

Def dont use any cheesy poem asking for money either. Personally I think they are cringeworthy.

Thank's guys you have been really helpful.

I was thinking about vouchers as well but there is not a certain shop we would like anything from but asking for cash is not easy!

What about people giving when they are not invited to the wedding, just the reception?!

I totally agree with the non-cheesy poem, I just got an awful one in an invitation soooooo chessssy!!

Anyone got any info about getting married in NYC?!

Yeap, take me ?

Haha, I love that, it is the best response I have had through the whole process!! Sadly we are eloping so it would ruin that slightly!!!

I'm glad this thread is here: thank you everyone. I'll be following this with interest.

The only thing OH and I need in our lives is more space. I moved into his flat last year when I was made redundant and couldn't find a job at the same pay level. I managed to find a tenant for my place to just about cover the mortgage but can't move anywhere big enough for both of us because he's in negative equity and the deeds prohibit him letting the place out. So, until the economy recovers and the banks start lending to first time buyers again, every birthday and Christmas brings another headache of what to do with all the 'stuff' we get bought. We are so cluttered it really gets us down and I can't bear the thought of that getting worse when we're married. Even when things we have break, there's usually a spare in the storage unit we rented to stash my stuff when I moved in.

Notwithstanding this, I hate asking for money and vouchers seem to require you to shop in John Lewis, so you don't have the value for money you get from shopping around. The poems you get asking for cash irritate me but now OH has said we should be asking for cash too.

I think I my say that we'll leave it out of the invites but if anyone in our family asks our parents, they can explain. I don't mind explaining to my friends either if they ask. I'm heartened to think most people won't go ahead and buy a gift without knowing what we want.

Thank you all.

I'm like a Ninja, you'll never know I'm there

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We will either ask for vouchers or money. Money I have not problem with asking for and neither does my fiancée but I do see onlone quite a lot about people thinking it's rude. I wouldn't want a list. We've lived together four and a half years now so we have things we need. There are some new things we need but they are big things and we'd like to pick them when we are back from honeymoon and possibly pay with the vouchers.

Hello All,

Interesting debate - we are having a wedding gift list at Debenhams and a ickle one at Next Home maybe.

My parents have banned us from asking for vouchers or money - they've decided it's rude and that's that.

To be fair having given it a good think about what to put on the list, as we don't want to just get stuff for the sake of it, we actually have some useful ideas - electric blanket, new matching cutlery, new coloured bedding etc. I think it helps that OH moved into my house, so to some extent it's very much my decor we're living in - so there are some aspects we'd like to change to make 'ours'. That said, we're hoping we might be able to sell up and move to a bigger house soon, so will take this into account when making the list too.

Alipops x

When we've been to an evening reception we've still given a gift - money usually. Admittedly we have given less money for gifts at evening do's than day ones but that's mainly because the friends were less close.

Only two weddings I've been to had lists and the rest said nothing expected but if you want to give a gift we need money for x y z. I have no problem giving money or off a gift list, the main thing is that the couple get something useful rather than something that won't get used. It is lovely however when they say what they put it towards I nothing specific is mentioned in the invitation.

We're going to ask for money towards our house and honeymoon as we need some bigger items like rugs and furniture that is too much to ask anyone for or needs our decision on style etc. what we use towards honeymoon will be or special one off extras like excursions as we have to pay for the honeymoon before the wedding!