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Storky
Beginner May 2011

A word of warning...

Storky, 22 February, 2011 at 15:31

Posted on Planning 139

Ladies and gents, As you know this is an anonymous wedding forum but many of us chose to share identifying features, both on board and off. It helps to create a sense of community but it can have its dangers. Imagine if you were to highlight an issue you were having with a supplier (issues with...

Ladies and gents,

As you know this is an anonymous wedding forum but many of us chose to share identifying features, both on board and off. It helps to create a sense of community but it can have its dangers.

Imagine if you were to highlight an issue you were having with a supplier (issues with venues and dress shops have already been aired today, why shouldn't they be?), you would reasonably expect to receive some sympathy or advice. Often more detailed advice is given off board. Nothing wrong with that.

How would you feel if someone, a random from the board, took it upon themselves to contact your supplier with a view to sorting out your issues or chase them up for outstanding information? Imagine them doing that without your permission.

Don't know about you folks, but I'd be bloody livid. Even after seeing their poor attempt at an explanation. Perhaps even more cross than I would be to start with.

Unfortunately that day is here.

Be careful what you say, ladies and gents.

139 replies

  • ajdown
    VIP September 2011
    ajdown ·
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    Strange indeed. At least it's not something I've done wrong and started an argument, for a change.

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  • Storky
    Beginner May 2011
    Storky ·
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    We are talking about someone who has broken the terms of their HIB status and I'm sure will be dealt with appropriately by The Big Purple God (henceforth the Hitched mods will be known).

    Don't doubt your peer group and those HIBs who we all know and love. Hopefully the person in question will make themselves scarce for the foreseeable. I shall certainly be avoiding them.

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  • Teri_M
    Teri_M ·
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    It's a good warning CB, I always worry for people when I see that they are posting more info on here than they should, Everyone should always becareful what they put out there on the internet, facebook etc, because it can potentially bite you on the bum.

    It's great that there is a sense of community on forums, but if someone is having an issue with something, particularly a supplier, to take it upon yourself to call that vendor on behalf of the person in question is overstepping boundries in a big way. Let each handle things as they see fit. You could be causing them much more problems then helping.

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  • Panjita
    Beginner May 2011
    Panjita ·
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    Do you know something, I have had a few gripes about a certain supplier but my OH said to me, DO NOT tell people on there who they are because they could quite easily read what you have written, take the hump and balls up the wedding.

    I took Heed and I don't THINK I have ever mentioned them? EEEKkk!!

    This is bizarre though how someone would feel the need to involve themselves in another persons dispute?!

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  • Sherrie H
    Beginner
    Sherrie H ·
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    View quoted message

    If anyone has any problems with any supplier then please, please email us so that we can deal with them. It is not allowed for any HIB's or Non HIB's to conatct any members unless asked to do so. Not only is it breaking the rules it is also highly unprofessional.

    Please forward any emails from Suppliers or HIB's if you have not asked them to contact you.

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  • Little Madam
    Beginner
    Little Madam ·
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    I am lucky in that I can't complain of any supplier we've engaged so have nothing to moan about.

    I hope whatever happened is resolved and no-ones plans are ruined as a result.

    I will be another one having a read through my old posts and editing as required over next few days - I'm so talkative in real life and it seems to stem onto my Hitching too!

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  • Red Baroness
    Beginner July 2012
    Red Baroness ·
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    Give it time!

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  • O
    Beginner October 2011
    oldgal ·
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    Bizzarre ! Sounds like someone elevated their status a bit too high ! Hope the OP is ok ?

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  • lisaloulou
    Beginner
    lisaloulou ·
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    Very strange. Hope it hasn't caused you too much/any trouble.

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  • SarinaCain
    Beginner March 2011
    SarinaCain ·
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    Ive had a few HIBs message me and I must admit when it was regarding somethig Ive posted I havnt minded...but there was one which just came out of the blue. I have been meaning to speak to you Sherrie about it. Wasnt sure if it was allowed or not but your msg above answers that question!

    I didnt respond to them.

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  • L
    lotus ·
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    Thats a little too freaky for me.

    You forget that others can read and see everything.

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  • charliebird7
    Beginner March 2012
    charliebird7 ·
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    Sounds very wierd! Hope things get sorted cb. x

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  • tinks269
    Beginner February 2011
    tinks269 ·
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    WOW not a nice thing to happen but as CB said def a good reminder to us all. I do try not to include too much detail but am sure at some point I have disclosed too much. Hope it is all sorted soon

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  • SarinaCain
    Beginner March 2011
    SarinaCain ·
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    Tinks just saw your ticker. Oh my!

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  • MrsMac2be
    Super May 2015
    MrsMac2be ·
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    'To the HIB who this thread is about, if you contact me once more via my private email I will tell everyone who you are and, furthermore, will report you for harassment'

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  • freb2reh
    Beginner July 2011
    freb2reh ·
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    Now that's just weird. Why on earth would someone go meddling like that, sounds like they need to get a life!

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  • SarinaCain
    Beginner March 2011
    SarinaCain ·
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    KBS you okay?

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  • W
    Beginner
    WhiteSparkles ·
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    This is really bad ☹️ Hope it is sorted out.

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  • MrsMac2be
    Super May 2015
    MrsMac2be ·
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    Hi Sarina

    Yes, Im fine thank you, a little cross but fine nonetheless! Smiley smile

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  • avintagebride
    Beginner March 2012
    avintagebride ·
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    Wow. How bizarre, and completely, unforgivably invasive. I would be furious.

    I like to think I am careful not to divulge to much detail, and have only every posted the name of my venue- never any suppliers.

    Strangely, I have just changed my username, and removed some info from my ticker as I thought it gave too much away.

    (Formerly TCML for anyone who is wondering)

    Would love to know who it was

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  • T
    Beginner
    typicalbride ·
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    Me too, I'm new here and would like to know who to avoid

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  • Storky
    Beginner May 2011
    Storky ·
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    Funny how a brand new poster appears...

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  • avintagebride
    Beginner March 2012
    avintagebride ·
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    Interesting CB, I thought the same thing....

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  • Kat44
    Beginner August 2011
    Kat44 ·
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    I have half a feeling I know who this relates to, and if I'm right, I'm just glad I have no need for their particular business, but I still can't believe the person in question felt they had the right to do get involved! Who does that?!

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  • BrideMrsT2B
    Beginner June 2011
    BrideMrsT2B ·
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    I can guess who this was and like everyone else I am shocked to think anyone would think they had the right to get involved?!

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  • MrsKeating2B
    Beginner April 2011
    MrsKeating2B ·
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    ? hope ur okay hun!

    absolutely shocking!! Smiley sad x

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  • millie&me
    Beginner October 2016
    millie&me ·
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    I've been around on here for quite some time, and some very wierd things have happened over the years! But I'm at a loss to understand how anyone would intefere in someones plans. It's actually nothing short of nasty, vindictive and cruel.

    That's my opinion anyway. Completely baffled!

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  • VikingPrincess
    Beginner December 2011
    VikingPrincess ·
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    I must be very naive or not that sharp LOL. I haven't got the slightest idea who this may be about but once again, I realise how vulnerable any posts on here are. We've said before that any posts here can be even found on Google. I once googled "winter wedding table names" and one of the results of the search was one of my own threads here about the very same subject!!

    It may be an idea to have a thread stuck at the top of the threads index, like the Abbreviation and Suppliers ones, in which to give a list of rules / privacy details newcomers could read, such as;

    - never give your real name or show pics of stationery with your names on;

    - never give out where you work or name anyone, or describe any supplier / wedding party member etc who can be identified from your description... etc

    I am mentioning the latter as this is something that happened at my workplace, via Facebook. Someone made some comments on their status and although they didn't identify the person, their common friends and colleagues guessed immediately who it was. Now the poor lass is paying for that silly moment of moaning on a public forum by fighting a libel lawsuit from the person identified under the legal argument that although she (the person) wasn't named, people knew who she was from the descriptions used in the status and the situation described and that implicitly that ruins her reputation. So apart from anything else, we also need to be careful what we sayabout others!

    I will definitely be more careful what pictures I put on and how much I give away about my wedding!

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  • L
    lotus ·
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    I'm new here and if I'm understanding this right and it's a supplier i def would like to know who they are so I can avoid them like he P....

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  • avintagebride
    Beginner March 2012
    avintagebride ·
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    Can someone send me a mail? I have provisionally agreed to do business with a HIB and want to make sure it isn't them before I place my order!

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  • avintagebride
    Beginner March 2012
    avintagebride ·
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    And also, can I just say, how sad that a situation like this is causing you to doubt people who are probably completely innocent ☹️

    Apologies if said HIB reads this and is offended. They haven't commented on this thread as of yet.

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  • Storky
    Beginner May 2011
    Storky ·
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    Vintage - I'm sure it will all be sorted out soon.

    As the delightful Bon Jovi once advised 'Keep the faith'.

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