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Storky
Beginner May 2011

A word of warning...

Storky, 22 February, 2011 at 15:31

Posted on Planning 139

Ladies and gents, As you know this is an anonymous wedding forum but many of us chose to share identifying features, both on board and off. It helps to create a sense of community but it can have its dangers. Imagine if you were to highlight an issue you were having with a supplier (issues with...

Ladies and gents,

As you know this is an anonymous wedding forum but many of us chose to share identifying features, both on board and off. It helps to create a sense of community but it can have its dangers.

Imagine if you were to highlight an issue you were having with a supplier (issues with venues and dress shops have already been aired today, why shouldn't they be?), you would reasonably expect to receive some sympathy or advice. Often more detailed advice is given off board. Nothing wrong with that.

How would you feel if someone, a random from the board, took it upon themselves to contact your supplier with a view to sorting out your issues or chase them up for outstanding information? Imagine them doing that without your permission.

Don't know about you folks, but I'd be bloody livid. Even after seeing their poor attempt at an explanation. Perhaps even more cross than I would be to start with.

Unfortunately that day is here.

Be careful what you say, ladies and gents.

139 replies

  • Mrs_T2B
    Beginner May 2011
    Mrs_T2B ·
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    I'm confuzzled! Why on earth would anyone do that even if they thought it was for the greater good, why would you go medalling in someone elses business? ?

    Granted they may have thought they were just being 'helpful' but even so it's very unprofessional. I hope people realise how careful you have to be about giving information online.

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  • videogal
    videogal ·
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    That's outrageous to meddle as it could cause a lot of other problems even more so without consent of the person who has the issue. As a HIB I see myself here to offer any practical advice, planning suggestions and just generally making new friends that I have something in common with a love for weddings ?.

    I always feel guilty too when reading posts like this as I rack my brains hoping that I've not offended anyone here!

    x

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  • SarinaCain
    Beginner March 2011
    SarinaCain ·
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    Nothing to do with this thread...but thats our song....OH and I were sitting opesite on our 3rd date two weeks after we had met at my birthday party and this came along and we realised we were both singing it...we had a moment Smiley smile

    Then our first weekend away together this was playing on the radio in the cab.

    Ahhhhhhhh memories.

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  • Lynseys Designs
    Beginner
    Lynseys Designs ·
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    I really want to say that I hope this doesn't put Hitchers off using HIBs. I'm really angry that someones trust has been abused (even with the best of intentions) and would like to say that I for one would never do anything like that.

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  • L
    lotus ·
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    Guys I think we should listen to VP as this really is about every social network we use not just on here. I mean we all know this but forget as its our little community but hopefully this is a reminder as theres most prob more people lurking then the talking I can say I was a lurker before I joined as you do.

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  • L
    lotus ·
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    There we go Sarina change the vibe lets get back to why we are all here.

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  • Blonde Viki
    Beginner July 2012
    Blonde Viki ·
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    I am very disappointed to read that something like this could happen on here, because as others have said, even if we occasionally do post a little too much information, you would never believe someone would have the nerve to use it. Sadly, it appears that we have to be a little more cautious of those who we hope would behave better towards us.

    KBS I'm really sorry to hear this happened to you and I hope that your relationship with your supplier has not been irreparably compromised if you plan to keep using them.

    I would hope the same Lynsey. I'd be optimistic though, hitchers are a smart bunch and I reckon that each HIB deserves to be judged on their own merits and not by the actions of one who has acted unprofessionally. There are many HIBs on here, yourself included, whose support, advice and suggestions show that you are professional, enthusiastic and careful and this is consistent in all your posts. Whilst I'll be more careful what I say after this happening, I won't let it spoil the hard work you and others have put into building your reputation.

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  • W
    Beginner
    WhiteSparkles ·
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    I don't think we should name and shame anyone on here. I'm sure the HIB that this thread refers to will think twice before doing something like this again.

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  • Mrs C
    Beginner March 2011
    Mrs C ·
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    Don't worry HIBS... Hitchers are not stupid x

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  • Amour Occasions
    Amour Occasions ·
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    Hi

    Just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear that has happened to you KBS ?

    Hope its not ruined your relationship with your supplier

    x

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  • BespokeTailor
    BespokeTailor ·
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    *playing devils advocate for a minute*

    But it isn't the thread this thread is referring to; KBS's thread about her venue? In that thread KBS does not mention the name of her venue, but a HIB does ask KBS to PM the venue name in case she could offer any assistance? Maybe the HIB in question received this PM and took this private exchange of information as an invitation to offer some assistance as was offered?

    Or maybe I am a twat.

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  • Blonde Viki
    Beginner July 2012
    Blonde Viki ·
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    You're not a twat!!

    TBH I thought along these lines at first too. But if a HIB is going to do something like this, they really need to be 100% certain they have the permission of the bride. Given the reaction, that can't have been the case here. So, whilst it still may have been done with the best of intentions (as I think a lot of the responses show people believe) it's still completely inappropriate.

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  • BumbleBrat
    BumbleBrat ·
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    Don't worry, I said exactly the same via private chat.. Still weird someone would think it's normal and ok to meddle with someone elses problems with a business.

    Think the cat is out the bag now though, everyone (Unless really thick) can guess who it was.

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  • L
    lotus ·
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    Okay well maybe I should not have spoken on somthing that I did not know the whole story sorry I just took what was written at face value but I don't know the whole story. Plus its a stressful time for some and things can be taken in the wrong way.

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  • BespokeTailor
    BespokeTailor ·
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    I agree totally inappropriate but a good intentioned old-fashioned misunderstanding (***-up) not necessarily a sinister attempt to interfere with a Hitchers wedding (as I have seen happen on here before).

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  • avintagebride
    Beginner March 2012
    avintagebride ·
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    Ahh.....'penny drops'

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  • Storky
    Beginner May 2011
    Storky ·
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    What would be really sinister would be the relevant HIB trying to cover up their actions...

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  • MrsMac2be
    Super May 2015
    MrsMac2be ·
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    What you have read in the other thread is not the FULL story... No-one should ever "assume" anything is an invitation unless they are specifically asked, which I can confirm was not asked of them to do this...

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  • VikingPrincess
    Beginner December 2011
    VikingPrincess ·
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    @both Bespoke Tailor and Blonde Viki - and it also underlines how precarious written communication can be! I work in communications and I studied Media at Uni so I know only too well how easily misunderstood written stuff can be, from text messages to emails. So whilst I agree with your post, Bespoke Taylor, I also agree with Blonde Viki that we should always make absolutely sure we understand the meaning of someone's message before taking a certain action.

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  • Amour Occasions
    Amour Occasions ·
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    ?

    The same happened to me!

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  • W
    Beginner
    WhiteSparkles ·
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    It was all bound to come out sooner or later...

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  • L
    lotus ·
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    I agree penny def drops

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  • Blonde Viki
    Beginner July 2012
    Blonde Viki ·
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    Yes, that is sinister. At least have the good grace to apologise and accept responsibility for your actions.

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  • Kat44
    Beginner August 2011
    Kat44 ·
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    I'm still wary of two newbies popping up close to each other and on this thread??

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  • BespokeTailor
    BespokeTailor ·
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    KBS, You are correct I have no idea what really happened and to be honest it is nothing to do with me.

    *I have deleted this bit because it is unnecessary*

    I hope things get sorted out for you.

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  • Teri_M
    Teri_M ·
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    Funny thing is,, admins and mods can see the IP address of those who post,, so if two different members have the same IP, it's not hard to work out something is not quite right.

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  • L
    lotus ·
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    Kat44 I'm a newbie and a welcome would be a touch nicer we don't want the mind to start playing tricks on us do we. I thought it was a forum that welcomed newbies or am I mistaken.

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  • MrsMac2be
    Super May 2015
    MrsMac2be ·
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    Ok, would it be fair if my venue realised that something was "up" and had a detrimental effect on my booking, is that fair?

    I had been emailing and calling my venue with regards to prices and all of a sudden a mysterious "someone" called asking about prices, Im sure my venue are not stupid and I just hope that they dont point the finger at me and possibly cancel my booking?

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  • W
    Beginner
    WhiteSparkles ·
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    Pretty sure they aren't suspicious lol! Both were keen to know who the HIB in question is which I doubt they would do if 'undercover'

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  • Rebecca86
    Beginner July 2012
    Rebecca86 ·
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    Oh KBS i've just read through and seen what's happened

    That shocking !! I do hope everything works out ok for you xx

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  • L
    lotus ·
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    Thank you Rachel you've restored my faith in this forum lol

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  • AmnesiaCustard
    Beginner June 2011
    AmnesiaCustard ·
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    Crumbs...not been around for a couple of days and I haven't got the foggiest what all this is about. Sometimes I am very glad to be thick!

    Hope everyone is ok.

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