Absolutely in shock... ** UPDATE PAGE 7**

OMFG! Thats awful!!!

Did you recognise the voice?

Maybe in his anger he dialled wrong. For what its worth when my ex husband was cheating I 'knew' deep down. Have you had any suspicions? I bet its a misdialled number.

Hugs xxxxxx

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh KB! MASSIVE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!

Right, think about this.

How would this person get your number?

Is there someone who has had a fall out with your OH that may cause them to want to cause trouble for him? or similarly someone who wants to upset you?

Is there anything in your mind that would leave you to believe its possible let alone true?

Dont panic

it could be someone being nasty who just wants to ruin your relationship

it could be a wrong number

You need to talk to your other half, face to face.

No idea what more to say - I hope its just someone being mean.

Oh honey. if it were me i would ask my other half because i would need to know and couldnt marry him until i knew for sure. It could have been a wrong number for all you know. were any names mentioned? hope you work it all out as soon as possible and its just a big mistake ?

This guy asked for me by name and then asked if I was associated with my OH, I said yes, he was my fiance then he proceeded to tell me that if my OH didnt leave his wife alone he would cause him a lot of trouble...

I'm shaking like mad here, I feel totally sick... what do I do?

Agreed alison..you have no option but to talk to your OH....

Wtf?

Jesus thats a harsh thing. I know it's the hard thing to do but you have to speak to your OH.

It might be some randon sh** thats just pulling a prank, but it causes all sorts of nerves and doubts in your head. and if that is the case I hope he gets some comeuppance.

call your OH right now, tell him how freaked you are by it. I hate to say it but his reaction might be what you need to know, or he might be just as freaked by you and not know what the hell is going on.

either way, don't keep it hidden, you'll go mad with the not knowing, and now you have a seed of doubt.

I really hope all works out. fingers crossed and massive hugs to you

xxxx

You need to phone your OH right now.

Remain calm. Tell him that you're not accusing him of anything, but that you've just had this call and you need to find out. He won't blame you for wanting to check it out.

You will not rest until you speak to him.

Just called my OH, he did deny it, obviously but then proceeded to ask who this guy was and what he sounded like... he didnt seem that bothered that this guy has just called me up and tell me something so vile, am I reading too much into my OH's reaction now?

Bloody hell, that's awful.

I think we can rule out the wrong number scenario being's he asked for you by name.

Have you ever had any thoughts that your OH might be cheating? Is it even possible?

Where are you both now?

Hmm, as others have said, it could be lots of random trouble-making crap. Or what about an insanely jealous husband who doesn't even want his wife talking to a man from work/a social club/etc? This was my first thought.

I've got to say that if your H2B was doing something dreadful:

1. it might resonate with you (late nights? excuses? mobile phone shenanigans?) and

2. the man would have said something more explicit than "seeing his wife"?

Try to stay calm. The only person who can answer this is your H2B. It could be entirely innocent but you need to know, you can't ignore it for fear of the answer.

I would call the police and tell them you've just received a threatening phone call. If this guy knows your name and has your number I'd at least get it recorded. I would also tell your OH that side and not focus on the accusation - you'll be able to judge from his reaction whether there is any truth in it - which I very much doubt!

My OH hasnt slept in the same bed as me for 9 months now! but he put that down to his snoring/bad back..

I'm at home, working and he's out at work.

I just feel numb...

Why does he need to sleep in a different bed because of having a bad back? Only asking because I've got a very bad back (my verterbrae are crumbling!) and I don't have any trouble sharing a bed.

Does he go out much on his own?

What time does he get home?

I'm sorry for asking questions which sound negative but it's hard when we don't 'know' you that well. Have you got anybody that you can talk to in real life? Whereabouts in Lincs are you?

What an awful thing to be going through.

Have you ever thought he might be up to anything? As others have said maybe some unusual behaviour?

I would sit down with him tonight and tell him how much it has upset you, perhaps you will be able to tell more by having the conversation face to face?

He goes out once a week on his own to play golf, he has his own business so gets home at different times but generaslly early-ish..

wanna give you a big hug right now.

maybe it would help if you told your OH that you're really upset by this, and that circumstances plus the call are giving you major wobbles.

it's hard to say how he should act cuz we don't know him, but if there's doubt then it needs to be cleared up otherwise you'll lose your trust of him. and that will not make for a happy relationship.

still keeping my bits crossed for you.

xx

What is your gut feeling?

xxx

Please dont assume the worst - I know its hard but dont ruin your relationship by automatically believing the call or by allowing the call to sow seeds of doubt where there were none before.

You need to talk to your other half face to face - unless he is the worlds greatest liar you will be able to tell.

I frequently (not all the time) sleep in a different room, mostly cause OH snores and even earplugs don't block it out.

My ex-husband had affairs and I had a feeling that he was though, I havent had any doubts about my OH though.

That is very important. I 'knew' when an ex was cheating, it's those little things that stop adding up.

You need to talk to him. This will only play on your mind until you do. I wish I could come and keep you company x

How aweful and scary for you. Talk to him face to face - do you chekc his phone / emails at all? Are you able to? Just to put your mind at rest? Are you certian he's been playing golf? Like have you seen the score cards?

I trusted/trust him that he's playing golf but now that has put thoughts in my head...

No, he has his own email address but I would never think to check it nor his mobile anyway?!

Sorry you have had to go through this. I had one similar when I was younger (I should say 16 years old!), but "I was the other woman" and his wife kept ringing me telling me she knew where I lived and she knew her husband was with me. She kept with holding her number. Every time she rang I told her the same that I was not seeing her husband, that I did not know who she was and from her "very distinct Somerset accent" she did not live near me. I kept telling her I did not know her or her husband but she kept telling me that she had copied my number off her H phone and it was right." She kindly rang on Christmas day and informed me that her children were waiting for there dad to come home before they opened their presents. This time she had not withheld her number. So I rang her back and told her that I was sorry for her and her children that they were going through this but I was not with her husband and that we did not live anywhere Somerset. Also that she had copied my number down wrong, she should not call me again.

She never heard again from her.

Try not to worry KBS it is probably just a case of the wrong number.

I would firstly hope that it is a very jeleous person trying to cause problems for either you or your OH

however the other option is that there is something in it so I'd be looking for evidence :-(

BUT do bear in mind there are evil people out there who like to make trouble for no reason.

my mum used to get anonymous phone calls that my dad was having an affair - in that instance though it was true :-(

I also had a phone call once asking why my number appeared so often on her friends husbands mobile - I quickly hung up really embarrassed its was coz he'd been flirting desperatly with me and trying to get me to go out with him but getting no where..

Have just called my mobile number supplier and spoke to the security and fraud team, they said it will take a couple of days but they can possibly look into getting this number for me to follow up either personally or through the police.

I have now got to wait an agonising 2-4 days until they come back to me though.

This is awful - you poor woman.

You need to speak to your partner face to face I think - I am sure when he sees how distressed you are he will change his response (in terms of taking it more seriously - not the content of his response!).

Whatever happens, you must talk to someone about this...your mum, dad, best friend, as I want to make sure you are okay and that someone else is aware of what you are going through. Are you at work now? How soon can you see your partner?

It doesn't matter how 'sure' we are about our partners, this would shake anybody's trust (even if just momentarily), so don't worry too much about your initial reaction - it is no indicator of the truth. Only your partner can tell you that.

You started off by saying that the guy on the phone said that your OH is to stop seeing his wife, and then later you said that they guy said for your OH to leave his wife alone...can you remember which one it was? Could it be someone at work who your OH is giving a hard time to at the moment for whatever work-related reason, with an over-protective husband at home who doesn't like it?

Like others have said, you really need to speak to your OH face to face, where you'll be able to judge his reactions to your questions. ((((hugs)))) to you x

Oh Gosh!! Im so sorry honey!! What an awful thing to happen to anyone!

I have never once doubted my H2b BUT if I had been in your shoes and got the call, darn tootin I would be questioning him right now. Makes me sad to imagine it but its only natural.

This happened to a friend of mine and they are sure it was an ex friend of his that they'd fallen out with just trying to break them up.

I am with the person that said its a jealous man who cant stand his wife even speaking to a colleague, does ur OH have any good female friends at work or elsewhere? Ones with mental hubbies maybe? My OH has loads of female friends which isnt a problem for me but if one of their partners started phoning me - as I say - I'd need to question it.

Sad times.

I know you spoke to him on the phone but this needs to get discussed in person because like you i'd be suspicious that he didn't have a strong enough reaction on the phone. Ul know when u see him face to face, I think you'll know if he's telling the truth.

xxx

I THink we have all got "things" you could consider. I would talk it through with him, unless you think he wont tell the truth if he is, in which case i'd be inclined to go along the lines of... "...I am really shaken by the call I had earlier and I am worried how whoever this person is, had my number so I am going to speak to the police... I wont rest until I can find out who it was that would be so nasty to upset us both!" It also gives you a chance to read his reactions. You will have a pretty good idea as I am sure you know him pretty well. Most of all I would say try your hardest not to worry or jump to conclusions, particularly if this is some malicious being trying to spoil your happiness!

Didn't want to Read and Run - can only echo what everyone else has said. Fingers crossed for you that it's just some random jealous person who has got the wrong idea.

Yes!!! I like this!! This is the best way forward.