Addressing the envelopes causing unanticipated stress!! Am I Being Unreasonable?

It wouldn't bother me at all to be honest, but I'm pretty laid back about stuff like that. I don't think you're being unreasonable though - for the sake of a quick check to get something that's obviously important to you done, I think H2B should get on the case!

I'd feel the same as you and wouldn't send invites without them being properly addressed. Also I think I'd be more concerned as to why he wants people that he doesn't know well enough to know their surname to come to your wedding! Can he not just send them a quick text - or ask someone elso who might know? If for no other reason than to stop further argument! ?

If these are invitations being posted out, then they absolutely need surnames. If they're being given out by hand it's a bit more informal and I think just first names is fine.

Personally, I think that you are overacting a little bit...

I know you want every part to be perfect as possible, but as far as an envelope goes (which will end up straight in the bin), I don't think surnames are a major issue. Of course it is nice, but I don't think that the recipients will think that you don't care about their names... I certainly wouldn't think that. OH and I received a hand delivered wedding invite with our first names on the envelope (via his Dad, not the couple getting married) and we didn't think twice of it!

However, if it a complete must for you to have their surnames, then OH should get them for you, whether it be via another relative or him ringing them and asking. Rather than him calling you ridiculous and 'snobbish', that is not productive! We all have our little 'musts', and we shouldn't have to justify it, OH should just help out and humour you.

Ive recently recieved an invitation with just our first names on. I didnt think anything of it to be honest!

Ah, perhaps I should have clarified a bit. These are invitations that are being posted. I am fine with the hand delivered ones just having first names on. These are family friends of his that he's known for a long time but just doesn't know their surname. I know, it's just a text to his mum to find out their surname but it all blew out of proportion!! We're absolutely fine now and he did get the information so it's all done.

I just wondered if I was being a bit bridezillaish, especially seeing as both my daughter and OH didn't see that there was a problem? Perhaps I'm a bit old fashioned...

I suppose it depends on the invites - are they very formal, as in "Mr & Mrs Bride's Parents request the company of Mr & Mrs John Smith to attend the wedding of...." or are they more "John & Joan, you're invited to our wedding on..."?

If the former, I'd say surnames are appropriate on the envelope, but if the latter then just first names are fine.

But really, it doesn't matter that much, the envelope will end up going in the recycling anyway, it's the invite they'll care about more....

I know that you have it sorted now, but wanted to chip in to say that i don't think that you were being unreasonable. In any case, he would have had to find out if you were planning on doing a table plan - so he would have had to do it at some point anyway.

Anything which goes through the post needs a full name. What if something goes wrong with the delivery: it gets taken to the sorting office; the recipient needs to go with proof of identity to collect it: except as the letter isn't addressed properly ownership can't be proven?

One of my staff recently received a gift from a friend by post addressed to 'the Birthday Girl'. Her postie clearly got he joke and labelled her card through the door as this, but on arriving at the office, she was met with a jobsworth who reduced her to tears and refused to let her have the package.

^^ This

I also agree with InkedDoll. If there are going through the post then they should be addressed to people using their first and last names. Like a lot of people l used Facebook to check the spelling of people's names

It's an awkward one, I prefer things addressed to our first names as otherwise it's pointing out that I'm the only one in the house with a different surname

I recently received an invite from my cousin addressed to me with my ex husbands surname. I changed back to my maiden name 3 years ago. That annoyed me that they didn't bother to check, would rather have had first names only than that! But the envelope goes in the bin so I guess not really a big deal.

Not unreasonable at all. I have insisted on surnames for all our invitations that are being posted but we have checked they are current. We've been chasing one particular surname for a week only to find out that said person is no longer in a relationship with H2Bs family member so it's a good thing we did.

I didn't put surnames on all our invites where it was couples with different surnames and I often get post with just our first names on. Unless it's a parcel I would hope (perhaps wrongly!) that it no-one would need to prove ID. Saying that though it's hardly a big thing you are asking your OH!

Personally this would not bother me at all. Then again I decided to make 100 invites with individual gems stuck on and lots of other sofa cry things stuck on. By the time it came to addressing I no longer cared and just wanted them to of my life! Ha. But if I were offended that someone hadn't written my surname then I'd be wondering why i was inviting them as I clearly didn't rate them as a good friend in the first place to be offended by that. Wedding etiquette and what's right and wrong definitely shows us our true colours. Glad all is sorted now though! Xx

The envelope goes in the bin, but if they use full names for table plan/place markers, you may want to gently remind them that your name has changed, otherwise you'll get annoyed all over again!

It was corrected on the RSVP with a nice bright felt tip!

Thanks for all your replies, opinion seems to be pretty mixed so I guess it was a case of us both being right (although, obviously I was more right ?. I'm hoping this is my only bridezilla moment, I'll feel pretty happy if we get to the wedding and the only thing I've blown out of proportion is addressing the envelopes!!

Have to agree with your OH I'm afraid. Shove their names on and get 'em posted. I'm sure you will find more important things to worry about!