Advice from TOGS please .. H2B hates having his photo taken..

?? Honestly the last thing he will be worrying about on the day is the photographer? take my word for it, I deal with people like him all the time and on the wedding day they are fine, I keep being told by them that they don't know why they worried so much, it goes so quickly as well.

You don't have to look at the camera for your photo to be taken.

But it's a common fear. Just find one who knows what they're doing

Definitely go for a documentary style photographer, one who won't make him do too many posed formal shots. Realistically most people feel they don't look good in front of the camera unless they're professional models so a good photographer will know how to put him at ease!

I agree with what the others have said. As Marianne suggests, look for a documentary photographer/ wedding photojournalist.

There is a practical way to tell the difference when you look at websites. A classical wedding photographer (the ones your H2B is concerned about) will spend longer doing posed shots. Their portfolio is likely to have lots of posed couple shots where they are smiling at the camera.

When you look at the portfolio of a photojournalist, there will be few of those posed shots. Couple portraits are more likely to be them looking at each other, or unposed moments of emotion at any stage of the day. Once you "get" the difference it will be easy to look at a site and know what kind of photographer they are. Hope that helps!

Thanks for your replies..

Bruce, I hope he'll be like that on our day, I really do..

Chris, I'm definitely getting going to get someone who knows what they're doing.. I'm not even thinking of booking anyone who says they can do 100 hours of taking photos for £250. (Ok, slight exaggeration there, but you know what I mean) ?
Even I cringe at the thought of having my photo taken by such a person, never mind the H2B.. Eeek!

Marianne & Paula.. I've showed him a couple of different photographer's websites (yours included, Paula) where the of photos are unposed and natural and told him that's the kind of photographer we should have, but he's still really worried about looking an idiot.

I think I'm going to leave the subject alone for a while and try and talk to him about it in a few weeks. In the mean time I'll make enquiries and talk to TOGS on my own..

Thanks again for your replies xx

Providing you get an experience documentary photographer that knows what they are doing then trust me he will be ok.?

Myself and mr winter both suffer with body dysmorphia and he LOATHES having his picture taken. we both do. when we met with our togs, they said the same as everyone professional above, convinced we were overselling the problem and that it'd be fine. then we had our engagement shoot >_<

we both had a miserable time and our togs did too. they sent us a 2 page letter saying it was the most difficult shoot of their lives and that we should seriously reconsider having a photographer at all. (as awful as it sounds i did love being proved right when i warned them we'd be the worst they'd ever had and they laughed it off lol)

HOWEVER; we persevered and come the day we took photos the way -I- wanted them taken; sullen, dark, moody. our faces were natural as we both have resting *** face and the togs edited the pics with the dark and gothic style. our pictures are INCREDIBLE. worth every single penny.

don't make him pose- let him stand how he wishes, let his face rest how it wants.

the picture are one of the most important keepsakes you will have and they are worth it, if he can manage it, but ensure your tog understands how $hit scared he is of this and that they shoot to suit you guys.

14 months later i've even managed to pick out a few of my engagement pics which are ok.

to reassure you i attach two of our pics. we're not smiling and posing- these shots FELT pretty natural to take and i hope you'll agree they were worth our money

hth hun xxx

I agree with what Bill has posted here.

There are also other ways to photograph people. One technique is to create environments where natural things happen. Not many photographers can do this although it can reap real dividends.

Peter

You could have just described my OH there. Initially thought we'd solved the problem as my uncle is a wedding tog and so having someone known to us would take the stress out of it, but unfortunately my uncle had to pull out due to ill health. As we hadn't anticipated paying forva tog we were also on a very limited budget. We ended up with a hobby/student tog who was sensational. I had warned her about OH hating having his pic taken. On the day she very quickly picked up on OHs sense of humour, and encouraged him to joke around during the photo session. The result is that he was much more relaxed through the whole shoot. His smile was genuine not forced, his posture is relaxed and he admitted afterwards that he didn't mind the process. In addition we have some fab photos that really show his sense of humour - doing 'bunny ears' behind my head, pulling faces at the kids, and in one holding my dads hand and them both giggling about it.

I asked the tog about it afterwards and she said she does a lot of shoots with reluctant kids, and so she used the technique she uses to coax them to pose on my OH.......(I didn't tell him that part!)

A good tog will keep your minds so busy with natter and humor that you won't get a chance to think about the camera pointing your way.

Thanks again everyone.. It is reassuring to read that most people with this fear do actually get over it on the day.

I still haven't brought the subject back up with him yet. I'm not sure if I dare just yet. Maybe I'll leave it for another week or 2.

It's a good job I have plenty of time isn't it?.

?? Well if you want a certain photographer and he is very popular then you don't really have much time because he might have already booked your date, just something to think about, 2016 is just around the corner, I have 2 dates already gone in September 2016? Its strange it seems we have gone back a few years and now back to booking weddings 2 years in advance so I wouldn't leave it too long but just take your time looking over photographers sites and if you are not sure then come back here and I am sure we will be able to help.?

Thanks, Bruce. x

I've got the next two days off work so I think I'm going to email a few togs and enquire myself without involving him. I'm sure he'd rather I did this and just showed him who I've narrowed it down to, and then I'll ask his opinion.

Wish me luck.?

Good luck? and yes your right about sorting it out and then showing him, I think it would be better to say to him these are the photographers I want so pick one and that's it? if you ask for his advise then I think he will say no to every one??

My OH really isn't keen on his photo being taken either. Admittedly he's not quite as *bad as your OH. (*I'm super sorry I couldn't think of a nicer way to put that). I made sure we could have a prewedding shoot/engagement shoot with our chosen photographers so he could get used to them and know what to expect on the day.

He had us just walking around our field having a chat which made some lovely photos. Matt even felt happy to pose. He then posed some more! I couldn't have asked for better

It also gave us chance to see how they worked with us and to see their photos (obviously you get an idea after seeing their portfolios but I think it's different when it's of you)

I would recommend trying a prewedding shoot - even if you don't tell OH and just go out for a walk somewhere that the photographer is lurking

I am terrible at having photos taken and always have my eyes shut, or am doing a horrible false grin. I told our photographer this, and she was really good and took loads of us looking at each other, or at a point to the side, so I wasn't looking at the camera and these seemed to work well.

Now that would be a bit weird?

Glad that it helped you,and yours are nice, but there is a danger that a pre shoot could only make the situation worse.

Yet (worse case scenario ) a pre shoot in the middle of winter (I know yours wasn't lotbot) in some drab looking park with just the 3 of you, a totally false forced situation, with cheesy set routines. It works for some, but if your OH is that bad it could just make things worse.

LotBot. As much as I would love to have a pre-wedding shoot, I think my H2B would freak out at the thought.

The only photos that would be captured would be of the flames coming of his feet as he ran away.. ?

Yours are gorgeous and I'm glad it worked for you. I'm a tad jealous. x

CrazyRatLady. That's what my H2B is like. On the (very) odd occasion he has stood for the camera, he has one of his eyes closed, his smile is fake. It shows in the picture.

This is a picture of him I took at a friends wedding a couple of years back.
This is the face he tends to pull when he has to have his photo taken.

Maybe I'm a bit of an eager flasher today ?

Sorry I couldn't be of help, I hope you get beautiful wedding pictures and your H2B feels as comfortable as possible

Thanks, LotBot. I hope so too xx

I don't think he photographs that badly, but I understand his discomfort! I end up looking drugged :-( I've attached one of the ones from our wedding, I have a feeling the photographer has had to delete half the ones where I am looking at the camera as I haven't seen any yet, but the ones where I'm ignoring the camera look ok. Try and find some poses he is comfortable with :-)