Advice on a disaster please!

What an awful thing to happen, how unprofessional of the manager ;-(

With your wedding only being 5 weeks away though you might be better staying with that venue, at least all your questions have finally been answered and you do say the staff are always friendly and welcoming when you visit ;-)

On the plus side, it sounds like the manager realises he has crossed a line so will probably make huge efforts to make sure everything else goes smoothly and perfectly from now on to prevent you from posting terrible reviews about the establishment all over the internet, etc.

I think your feelings are quite natural - you want everything to go to plan on the day and to hear him say something like that so close to the day would be really upsetting. Are you sure there's no other hotel/restaurant that could take a booking late notice? Is it worth just having a quick look first to see if there's not another option?

If not, get the most out of the current situation, if you Oh had a good chat with the manager that's a start. You have a contract so they can't back out on you without your agreement, so it's reasonable to ask them to agree to put the main things that concern you into writing and hopefully that might help? Tell yourself what they main things are that you need them to agree on and go from there.

I think from now on, any contact with the venue/manager has to be done in person. It's obvious that the manager seems very overworked - though this is not your problem and he is extremely unprofessional. This is why I would make sure you deal with them in person as emails and phone calls can be ignored.

I wouldn't bother trying to find another venue in such a short time as it'll probably just cause you more stress. I would concentrate in making sure that the venue provides the service you want, it'll just mean that you have to take more control of things and keep checking up on them. Not ideal but if means things run the way you want it then that's the main thing.

Ladies, firstly thank you all for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it.

I think you're all right in that I have to hold my reception here. It would be more stressful trying to find somewhere else.

I think partly I am to blame because asking for the cancellation policy did antagonise the manager. That wasn't my intention. After repeatedly explaining how difficult things were becoming I felt that this was my only option. I expected him to discuss my concerns and ask reasoning for requesting this. Not a full on attack.

My OH seems to think the manager was apologetic and that things are fixed. The manager then emailed last night with a timeline of the day but no mention of apology or about what happened - although it's blatent that I was bubbling down the phone! At least some acknowlegement might have been nice.

Anyways the OH thinks we need to all meet. I feel really awkward now.

Men are more laidback generally. Maybe lest said soonest mended?

To be completely fair though I should also mention that the email I received last night said that the Hotel will do their best to 'ensure your special day is extra special'. I'm not quite sure what that means but reading between the lines this could his way of apology?

It sounds like to me the manager is under great stress and over worked and sadly took it all out on you. Yes unprofessional but also they are human we all have a breaking point. They probably regretted it as soon as it happened hence why they took so long with your partner.

To err is human, to forgive is divine x

I would take 'we'll make it extra special' as a way of trying to redeem himself. He shouldn't have spoken to you like that but then, as you say, unintentionally you caused him stress by saying you'd cancel. You don't know, it sounds like he was stressed already and maybe the thought of how bad a cancellation would look just tipped him over the edge.

It is time to move on and I completely agree with your partner that you need to meet face to face to clear the air. You need to do this to be able to move on and enjoy the build up. You'll never have this pre-wedding time again so you need to enjoy it as much as you can. I got the impression at times that our venue co-ordinator, who had been lovely, was getting a bit short with me but it is what happens. They aren't perfect and no-one is going to feel like you do about your wedding (including your friends). Meet him, break the ice and then trust them and move on. Be clear about how much detail you need from them and you need to give to them and try and relax. You're getting married in 5 weeks!! That's so exciting for you xx